Monday, July 27, 2009

Breakdown to Babysitting

So last week on Friday I had a mental breakdown. Because on Wednesday and Thursday we finished moving out stuff over to Stephen's parents house and out of the rental house. We offically slept in the house on Thursday night and Stephen left for work the following morning. As I was slowly unpacking our room trying to find places to put our stuff I realized that this room doesn't have any of my personality in it. It didn't feel like I actually was going to be living in this room. Which slowly had me crying and litterally feeling out of place in the whole family. The whole family likes me and I do fit in but it's not what i grew up to be apart of. For most of my days at home it was just me and my parents then it was just me and my mom. Since my siblings are seven, eight, and nine years older then I am. So I didn't know what it meant to have a lot of family in the house. But in truth, I didn't know where I fit into the whole family at all or even my room. Everything just started to get worse and I didn't know what to do or anything. i realized that I mostly stay up in Stephen's and My room while he is at work only leaving to go to the bathroom. Because I feel like I was walking in on their own time and I don't fit.
Anyways, I called my two sisters. One didn't answer her phone so I called the other crying and just upset. I realized that my sister livid with her in-laws while her son was just a baby years ago. I talked to her about what I was feeling and she said that it was normal. I most likely won't get a break out of it. But to create a place for my stuff somewhere. I finally talked to Stephen about what I was feeling and slowly we started to make the room our room. We hung up pictures and hooks. We also brought in my dresser and my desk from my bedroom at my mom's house. Slowly this room is starting to feel like my room.
On Saturday, Stephen and I were asked to watch Mike and Elyse's kids for overnight as it was the anniversery. It was a lot of fun. We played wii and then Stephen went and got some pizza for us and the kids. Then we went to the park and played until seven. The kids went to bed at seven thirty and we stayed up and watched movies together. It was nice. On Sunday at six fourty five I realized that the boys might not realize to come wake us up. So I went to open the door to the bedroom and heard little noise down in the living room. Sure enough both of the boys were just chilling in the dark on the couch. They were just sitting there talking to each other not doing really much of anything. It was interesting. But all in all Stephen and I had fun watching the kids.
On Sunday we went to my mom's and had dinner with her. We just relaxed together and watched Ace of Cakes and America's Funniest Videos together. So it was a lot of fun and the food was greet.


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