Thursday, March 31, 2011

Thursday: Why I love Him

So I like to make list. I am a list maker person. Since Thursday is when I talk about marriage mostly my marriage. I thought why not make a list of things that I love about my husband, Stephen. So here are my reasons.

1. He doesn't mind not doing anything.
2. A wonderful cook and loves to cook (I hate cooking)
3. He likes to cheer me up.
4. He is patient with me when he should be.
5. He is a nerd. He loves playing video games, watching t.v, playing on his computer.
6. He puts me on schedule with my h.w. and everything else.
7. He provides an income at a dead end job so that I can accomplish my dreams.
8. He loves me no matter what I look like, if I have a diease, or just having a bad day.
9. He doesn't see my disablity but he sees me for who I am.
10. The way he is excited to meet our daughter. And knowing that he will be a wonderful father.

Find ten things that you love of your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. If single list thigns that you would want in a spouse. You might be surpised to find them in your future in one person.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wednesday: Poetry Class

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. ~Robert Frost

Since I am in poetry class I am learning quickly of poems that I have never heard about. Poetry was something that was always interested me since high school. It has kept my interest in some way since then. Some of my classmates are really good and I envy how natural it seems for them to write. Too bad that I can't share their poetry because who knows if they ever get published. But I can share some poems that I have read in class. Right now we are working on poems that are monologues. So here are some that I like.

These poems are from a book called, "In the Palm of Your Hand" by Kowit

said she didn't know anything about ovens
so the witch crawled in to show her
and Bam! went the big door.

Then she strolled out to the shed where
her brother was fattening, knocked down
a wall and lifted him high in the air.

Not long after the adventure in the forest
Gretal married so she could live happily.
Her husband was soft as Hansel. Her
husband liked to eat. He liked to see
her in the oven with the pies and cakes.

Ever after was the size of a kitchen.
Gretal remembered when times were better.
She laughed out loud when the witch
popped like a weenie.

"Gretal! Stop fooling around and fix
my dinner."

"There's something wrong with this oven,"
she says, her eyes bright as a treasure.
"Can you come here for a minute?"
-Ronald Koertge

Smokey the Bear heads
into the autumn woods
with a red can of gasoline
and a box of matches.

His hat is cocked
at a disturbing angle.

The moonlight catches the teeth
of his smile.
His paws, the size of catcher's mitts,
crackle into the distance.

He is sick of dispensing
warnings to the careless,
the half-wit camper
the dumbbell hiker.

He is going to show them
how professional does it.

No one runs after him
with the famous lecture.
-Billy Collins

My goal to you is choose a character that you have grown up with and write a monologue for them. Put them in the comments so I can read them. I am working on my own monologue of Lord Voldemort. It shall be interesting.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tuesday: Picture Day

Spring has Sprung...But Winter Wants to Stay

The View I see sitting....

Monday: First Love

Sorry this is a day late but I still want to write about my first love.
“We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love is our first.” - No Author.

My first love isn't the normal one. I had the normal heartbreak from my first love not once but a couple of times. But I had hope and love that didn't stop coming around for this person. I met my first love when I was in third grade and his family moved into my ward. We were put in the same sunday school and he was often the quiet kid sitting in the back of the class. I hung out with the girls in my class and we all have funny stories that is telled from that sunday school class. But we didn't normally talk to each other until soon after my parents divorced when I was in seventh grade. I didn't have similar interest that those girls in my sunday school class did. I didn't have a daddy that cared about me. I moved across down but still was able to be in the same ward but different junior high. Which happened to be the same junior high that he went to. We became friends slowly in junior year because I didn't really hang out with anyone. I went through depression heavy and often thought of sucide (that's another story). But when I talked to him I felt connection and I felt happy. So gravity towards him and he became a crush. At church instead of sitting with the girls in the front row. I sat with the boys in the back and often found myself getting along more with the boys then I did with the girls. When I turned fourteen, at the Mormon church that is when you are allowed to go to church dances. I was scared because my crush and most of the guys I hung out with at the time were not fourteen. A month later my crush turned fourteen and we danced a slow dance together which was to the song "Don't wanna miss a thing." We also danced to the song "I'll Be." As we grew older every church dance no matter what we were doing or dancing with if those two songs came on we would find each other and dance with each other.
High school I made the option to transfer to another high school across town to start in a 21st program and help start a new school that was built in town. He made option as well. Since we lived across town from the school my mom decided that from seminary she could drive us and another person to the high school. She worked at our high school. We had such a blast riding in the car and talking in the morning before school started. We would look over each other's homework and it was a wonderful time. Several of our matural friends wanted us to date each other. When I turned sixteen which means that I could date I was excited for the fact that he would be sixteen a month later. The church dance before his birthday he announced to me that he had a girlfriend which broke my heart. It was the first time that anyone knew that I had a crush on him. I dated different people off and on. Okay mostly it was the same couple of people which were the guys that I hung out with at church. Often though my crush and I were asked to double date with another couple. Which we never minded even though he was dating someone. I even went to some school dances double dating with him and his dates.
The summer before our senior year, we were both asked to be on a team that taught students at our schools how to use the palm pilots. So that summer we had to train on the palm pilots but also come up with lesson plans to teach to our fellow classmates. Because for some reason the air conditions kept going out at the school. I often invited him to come to my apartment complex which had a pool to go swimming afterwards. We often hung out with each other and we even hung out at his house. Which he happened to walk me home a couple of times. On our last day of training he went home and I went to my apartment. I got online to see him online. We chated a few when he said, "I feel like our friendship is changing." I was in shock because I kept my feelings about him hidden. He then went on to ask me to be his girlfriend which of course I squeled in delight and said yes. I then had to go hang out with one of my best friends. Which he called me at her house and asked if I wanted to go hang out with him at the park with some other church friends. We kept our relationship hidden for awhile because we wanted to announce to people that we were dating. Because we wanted to see their reactions. Everyone kept saying, "FINALLY!" Our senior year was amazing. He often walked me to my first class and even made me breakfast a couple of times. We went on several dates with other couples and just had a blast. Homecoming dance I found out two days beforehand that I had strep so at homecoming dance I was miserable and fell asleep at the dance on his shoulder. We never kissed each other even though their were huge rumors about us making out in the hallway of the school. We were often hugging and holding each other's hands. Prom night was amazing night. At one point of the night we sat next to each other on a bench and because I just had knee surgry not long before hand I told him he could go dance. He said, "No I am perfectly fine right next to you." My heart melted at that saying. We didn't kiss at prom night. We both went to after prom and were watching a pixstar movie and I was falling asleep when he leaned over and brushed a piece of hair out of my face and kissed me. Our first kiss and it was amazing.
After prom our relationship started to take a turn down hill. I was going to be leaving for college an hour and a half. He hadn't decided yet if he was going on a mission or college. He started to distance himself from me at the beginning of summer and I had a good chance that our relationship was going to be over soon. It was a week before our year anniversery when he ended our relationship. I was so upset and never let him know that I loved him.
We stopped talking for awhile and during my first year I got a stalker on campus. He found out about it and we emailed each other off and on and I found out that he was not going on mission. Then it went silent between us again for awhile. I tried to keep my distance because I was still in love with him. My second year of college, his younger brother decided to come to the same college as me. I was nervous knowing that he was going to be there once and awhile. We started to talk on the phone and during family weekend at school. He came to hang out with his brother but hung out with me more. Then the second semister we started our friendship up and we talked on the phone every Sunday night for hours about everything. Often times I drove my roommate nuts. If he called any other times I would ignore the call because I was nervous. That summer we hung out and our friendship was back and I was still in love with him. My third year of college I had a dorm room by myself and I admited to him on the phone that I was going to hide myself for my twenty-first birthday because several of my friends were pressuring me to drink that night. He surpised me on my birthday by showing up after lunch and we hung out all day.
That October, during general conference. I just listend to the Kansas City temple being announced to be built. when I recieved a phone call from a creepy voice saying, "Go downstairs and outside." I was not doing that no matter how many times that guy called. I asked one of my friends to go with me and we found a flower with a note attached. I reconized the handwriting as it was the love of my lifes. As my friends and I went around following the flowers. At the end as we neared the building one of my friends said, "What if he's down on one knee?" I glared at her and then I was really nervous. Of course he was not even there but some roses in a vase with a note attached. The note said something like if you want to be my girlfriend again and know who this is call him. I called him and he didn't answer. He called me back and said, "yes?" I said, "I called didn't I." He rounded a building and I ran into his arms. We kissed and I was in his arms again.
If you haven't figured it out. My first love is my lovely husband Stephen. He was always my first love and I can't wait till he's my last love. I can't wait to see him fall in love with our daughter in May.


Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunday: Agency

So Stephen got to teach his first lesson in the Elder's Quorum and it was about Agency which is what we learned in relief society as well. Stephen and the teacher in relief society took two different perspectives on the lesson. I got the pleasure to hear both perspectives of the lesson being taught. What I liked about the relief society lesson was that we got to share our thoughts. The teacher that taught often gets us to teach each other more then she teachs us. It's a nice way to learn. It's also nice for a young adult in relief society learn from those that are much older and wiser.
I decided to share some very personal things about myself. I shared that I had a huge choice when I was twelve years old. At eleven years old I found out that I had arthritis and was put on some heavy medicine to slow it down. As eleven years old I had arthritis worse then an eighty year old. At twelve years old I found out about the medicine that i was taking could prevent me from becoming a mother. So I made the heavy option to be taken off every medicine availble. I decided to go with getting my joints worse then they are then not be able to have children. I am totally blessed that I am going to be a mother in little over a month time.


Friday, March 18, 2011

Friday: Pain and Birthing Class

So today is the last day before Spring Break. I am so ready for a break from school. Also ready to be able to get the Nursery close to being done. Also catch up on homework and studying. So this past week from Saturday to now.
Saturday, Stephen and I went to our birthing class. We didn't learn much in the first session that we didn't already know. We though got to take a tour of the birthing room and post partam room. In the second session we learned a few things. The breastfeeding part was interesting. But we did get two boxes that was full of coupons and samples from huggies. Then we headed to my mom's for dinner and to spend time with her.
On Sunday, the plan was to go to our niece Addie's baby blessing but I had intense pelvic pain that left me in tears. Stephen and I decided to come home early so I could rest. I called my mom to let her know. She came down to take care of me and helped us clean carpets.
Monday, I stayed home from classes because of the pain. I was able to get a doctor's appt. to hear that it was a normal pregnancy pain. It might be SPD. I was bummed that the doctor was not my normal one and she wasn't as nice. My mom stayed till Tuesday evening to help.
Right now I am staying with school. I got B's in Comp II and Poetry. I got C's in Econ. and a Geography. So that is going good.
What to look forward to next week my Baby Shower that my mom is hosting and spring break.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Thursday: My Marriage

Stephen works hard to provide for our family. He works at Walmart which doesn't pay him enough for what he does. He gave up a whole lot to move here to be with me. He gave up being close to his family and gave up a good paying job. A job that even offered him a raise to stay there. We lived a few weeks apart in our married life and he wanted to be here with me. He packed everything and moved down here to be with me. I can't be more happy to be with him and know that we are going to be parents soon. We struggle with money because how little he makes and yet he never complains. He never complains that we miss things in his family because we live far away. Never complains when I just need to be in his arms.
I never witness such a sacrifice in a guy in my life. When things got tough they took off. No matter who they hurt in the long run. Many times I wonder why Stephen is is with me and I often tell him that I am too lucky to have him as my husband. I am not the most open person because of my past and he pushes until he knows it's not something to push about. I have a hard time connecting with people and sometimes even with him. But he doesn't give up hope on me and he doesn't mind to just hold me and let me cry.
He is my knight and shining armor.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sunday: Spirtual Side

So, since today is Sunday and it's five in the morning I thought I would make a blog post. I am not your every day mormon person. I have had my ups and downs and fall outs in the church. My mom and siblings were all baptised on the same day. I was four years old and blessed in the church. I was then baptised at eight years old by my dad. It's been a hard road for me to travel. My family stopped going to church for awhile. My siblings stopped going to church all together. My parents got a divorce, my sisters got pregnant. All the pressure for me to stay in the church and get married in the temple was all on me. I didn't have a testimony of the church at all. I didn't feel like I belonged in the church but only went to make my mom happy. To try and fit in with my peers.
When I went off to college I went to church. I started to and was really happy in going. But I stopped going because I didn't feel like I belonged. I didn't have a father who had the priesthood and didn't really have friends in the ward. I was in love with a boy that broke my heart.
When I got engaged, I knew I didn't want to be married in the temple. I wanted my siblings to be able to see me get married to my husband. I wanted that experience that I watched both of my sisters recieve. But now that I am married and very much in love with my husband. I can't see my self without him even if one of us die. I want him forever in my life. To make that real we started to grow our own testimonies. We started to go back to church and I felt like I belonged. Now that I am pregnant I want the very best for my daughter. I want her to know that just because she doesn't have a testimony right now she can build her own slowly. I am starting to have a testimony and I am hoping that by the time that the Kansas City temple gets done that I will be ready to be sealed to not only my husband but to our little girl as well. Because I want to be with them forever.


Saturday, March 12, 2011

Saturday: Organizing Our Life

Since we are expecting a little girl in less then two months we are trying to be organized as much as possible. Stephen and I cleaned out the second bedroom that we are turning into the nursery. But we are also trying to organize everything else. So this is our journey to organize our life.
Right now we have a ton of totes and boxes full of random things. We are still trying to blend our things together. So we are going through the totes and giving things to good well and even putting them in totes to put in storage (or my mom's basement). Stephen has a box full of electrical cords. He went through it and got rid of things we don't need but also tieing the cords up. I went through my books and got rid of a ton. :( We have been slowly collecting Christmas things and now we have a tote just for Christmas. How are you organizing your life?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Friday: Weeks up to Today

So things are busy. School is going good in some ways and bad in others. In poetry and Comp. II I have a B. Each of my poems in poetry have given me a good B. And two essays that I have already done in Comp. II both got a good B which both that I am re doing in hopes to raise it to an A. So I am pretty happy with those two classes. In Geography, that's another story. I had one test so far my other test will be in a couple of weeks. The test I recieved a 49% on so that makes my grade very low and miserable. I am hoping to really study over spring break to bring the grade up also to try and get ahead on school work. In my Econ. class, I got a C- on my first class which means that I am at a C- in class. I am hoping to bring that grade up by studying harder then before. But things are going good in classes and I am really thankful to have tutoring in Geography and Econ. the two that I knew I would need help in. I will be soon registry for next semister and applying for Block 1. I will need prayers that I can be accepted into Block 1 so I can finally get started on becoming an elementary teacher.
My pregnancy is going really well. I am still measuring a week ahead which means that Ginny could be a pretty good size baby. I am just hoping she will not be nine pounds or more. My doctor said that she will let me go at least a week after my due date which means that I could get my finals in if I don't go in labor. But my geography teacher is letting me take my final the week before in her class. I am hoping that my econ teacher will let me do the same so I don't have to worry about it. At our last doctor's appointment we found out that most likely Ginny is already heads down which is a plus since I never turned. Also her heartbeat was 156 which is pretty good and her normal. Here is some bump pictures.

31 Weeks

32 Weeks
Also Stephen and I have been really working on the nusery. We are so excited to be able to get everything ready for the arrival of our little girl. As the nusery is getting ready it's making it more real for us. That she will be here very soon. I have my baby shower that my mom is hosting on the 19th of March and the one here in my college town on the 9th of Apirl. It's just really hitting me that I will be a mother really soon. I am just hoping that she will stay until at least the week before her due date.

So Stephen and I like to treat ourselves once and awhile. Since we don't usually buy gifts for each other we get to pick out something when we have the money. This time we were able to pick out one big gift for each of us. Stephen got a 32 inch HDTV for the living room. He's been begging me to let him get one and I finally let him. I got a Kindle which will be nice to take the hospital with me as I won't be needing tons of books to keep me occupied. Though who knows when I will actually take it out and use it at the hospital. It's nice though and I am enjoying it.
What to look for to next week's post is that we have our only birthing class tomorrow on Saturday and on Sunday we will be going to see our niece Addie get blessed. It will be nice to see family this weekend. So that's what next week's post will be about.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thursday Marriage: Time Together

My marriage is very important to keep stable and loving. Since I didn't have an example growing up it has made me more aware of things in my marriage. It's a growing process for me to learn to let some things go. Some things that bother me but at times I have to just let it go. Stephen and I try to set some time together to just talk.

Sometimes he will get home from work and sit in his chair. I would sit on his lap. We would talk about my schooling and things that happened at school. Then we would talk about his work. We would then talk about anything and relax. I look forward to these times every day.
Also, I got this idea from my sister Necia and her husband. I wake up with Stephen every morning no matter if I have to or if I don't. I wake up with him and have breakfast with him. We don't talk usually but it's a tradition that we do. He does the same thing even on his day off he will get up with me. We are planning on having that time together every morning. So when our daughter is born that will be our time before she gets up for the day. It will be our time together.
Another one doesn't happen all the time. But we often travel to our family places and where we live that is an hour and a half away. We don't have a radio working in the car but that's okay with both of us. Because now it's time to just talk about everything that matters to us. It's a time where we can talk without the interuptions and just enjoy each other's company. I love car trips for this reason because I get to spend that time with my husband not having to worry about anything else other then the the road.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Wednesday: Changing

Since I don't have a ton of experience on marriage. I decided to let that go. But I do have a ton of experience in reading books and other litature. So Wednesday is changing to met talking about different litature. So what kind of litature will I talk about. Anything to tell the truth. I read fanfiction, poetry, short stories, and novels. These will be my thoughts about these litature. During anytime if you want to suggest a book, fanfiction, poetry go ahead.
Till Next Week,

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tuesday Picture

Today, I went to my ward's relief society birthday. It was really nice to learn different things. Our lessons were amazing and I learned a lot from each of them. So today question is What did you do today?


Monday, March 7, 2011

About Me: Meaning Behind Blog Name

Sorry I didn't do Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, or even Sundays blog post. It seems like we are trying to get everything done before Ginny's arrival this weekend. I'll have to do those soon. I might take Saturdays while Stephen is at work to do a week's worth a blog post. So bare with me until I can get a schedule down. Okay so today we get to find the reason behind my blog name.
I didn't choose my blog name to make life interesting. I actually chose it because I am not very good at diary writing or even journal writing. I like to have an audience or at least think that I have an audience. Where when I write in a book with paper I often feel like no one can tell what I am writing about and I don't want to write it out in the open. So I came up with thediarywithin. Because somewhere everyone has a diary within themselves they just have to find a way to open up to it. Either in private like in a book full of blank pages or on a blog. Somewhere where they can get their thoughts, views, and things that they do out in the open. I am learning quickly that it just takes time and sure you might lose that diary once and awhile but it's still there within you full of your thoughts, secrets, and opionion. So that's why I am named thediarywithin.
What's the reason behind your blog name?


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Wednesday: Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage: Date Night

As a college student and my husband is working at Walmart we often are living pay check to pay check. Which is stressful on our marraige. But we still find a chance to date each other. We often don't leave our home when we go on our dates. At times we will make dinner together or pick up something cheap for dinner. Then watch a movie either on our netflicks or renting from redbox. We have found out that having date night each week at least will help strengthen our marriage and it never has to be a big thing. Sure sometimes when we have the money we can go out instead of being home. But we often find the time. When our daughter is born in May we will be having date nights at home more often so we don't have to pay for a sitter. But we already have plans for the times we want to go out. Since we often go see our parents one of them would be willing to watch for an hour while we go out to eat for a little while. We will find a way.
It doesn't have to be a huge date and spend lots of money. It just needs to be a time to spend with each other and strengthen your marriage.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Tuesday: Life Around Me: Snow to Flooding

So Tuesday is about things around me in a picture. Well today you get two pictures.

That picture is from last Week. The night before we got snow and freezing rain.

This picture is of a thunderstorm that we got on Sunday. Stephen just made it home from priesthood duties when our street flooded. That would be our street under all that water.