Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Monday: First Love

Sorry this is a day late but I still want to write about my first love.
“We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love is our first.” - No Author.

My first love isn't the normal one. I had the normal heartbreak from my first love not once but a couple of times. But I had hope and love that didn't stop coming around for this person. I met my first love when I was in third grade and his family moved into my ward. We were put in the same sunday school and he was often the quiet kid sitting in the back of the class. I hung out with the girls in my class and we all have funny stories that is telled from that sunday school class. But we didn't normally talk to each other until soon after my parents divorced when I was in seventh grade. I didn't have similar interest that those girls in my sunday school class did. I didn't have a daddy that cared about me. I moved across down but still was able to be in the same ward but different junior high. Which happened to be the same junior high that he went to. We became friends slowly in junior year because I didn't really hang out with anyone. I went through depression heavy and often thought of sucide (that's another story). But when I talked to him I felt connection and I felt happy. So gravity towards him and he became a crush. At church instead of sitting with the girls in the front row. I sat with the boys in the back and often found myself getting along more with the boys then I did with the girls. When I turned fourteen, at the Mormon church that is when you are allowed to go to church dances. I was scared because my crush and most of the guys I hung out with at the time were not fourteen. A month later my crush turned fourteen and we danced a slow dance together which was to the song "Don't wanna miss a thing." We also danced to the song "I'll Be." As we grew older every church dance no matter what we were doing or dancing with if those two songs came on we would find each other and dance with each other.
High school I made the option to transfer to another high school across town to start in a 21st program and help start a new school that was built in town. He made option as well. Since we lived across town from the school my mom decided that from seminary she could drive us and another person to the high school. She worked at our high school. We had such a blast riding in the car and talking in the morning before school started. We would look over each other's homework and it was a wonderful time. Several of our matural friends wanted us to date each other. When I turned sixteen which means that I could date I was excited for the fact that he would be sixteen a month later. The church dance before his birthday he announced to me that he had a girlfriend which broke my heart. It was the first time that anyone knew that I had a crush on him. I dated different people off and on. Okay mostly it was the same couple of people which were the guys that I hung out with at church. Often though my crush and I were asked to double date with another couple. Which we never minded even though he was dating someone. I even went to some school dances double dating with him and his dates.
The summer before our senior year, we were both asked to be on a team that taught students at our schools how to use the palm pilots. So that summer we had to train on the palm pilots but also come up with lesson plans to teach to our fellow classmates. Because for some reason the air conditions kept going out at the school. I often invited him to come to my apartment complex which had a pool to go swimming afterwards. We often hung out with each other and we even hung out at his house. Which he happened to walk me home a couple of times. On our last day of training he went home and I went to my apartment. I got online to see him online. We chated a few when he said, "I feel like our friendship is changing." I was in shock because I kept my feelings about him hidden. He then went on to ask me to be his girlfriend which of course I squeled in delight and said yes. I then had to go hang out with one of my best friends. Which he called me at her house and asked if I wanted to go hang out with him at the park with some other church friends. We kept our relationship hidden for awhile because we wanted to announce to people that we were dating. Because we wanted to see their reactions. Everyone kept saying, "FINALLY!" Our senior year was amazing. He often walked me to my first class and even made me breakfast a couple of times. We went on several dates with other couples and just had a blast. Homecoming dance I found out two days beforehand that I had strep so at homecoming dance I was miserable and fell asleep at the dance on his shoulder. We never kissed each other even though their were huge rumors about us making out in the hallway of the school. We were often hugging and holding each other's hands. Prom night was amazing night. At one point of the night we sat next to each other on a bench and because I just had knee surgry not long before hand I told him he could go dance. He said, "No I am perfectly fine right next to you." My heart melted at that saying. We didn't kiss at prom night. We both went to after prom and were watching a pixstar movie and I was falling asleep when he leaned over and brushed a piece of hair out of my face and kissed me. Our first kiss and it was amazing.
After prom our relationship started to take a turn down hill. I was going to be leaving for college an hour and a half. He hadn't decided yet if he was going on a mission or college. He started to distance himself from me at the beginning of summer and I had a good chance that our relationship was going to be over soon. It was a week before our year anniversery when he ended our relationship. I was so upset and never let him know that I loved him.
We stopped talking for awhile and during my first year I got a stalker on campus. He found out about it and we emailed each other off and on and I found out that he was not going on mission. Then it went silent between us again for awhile. I tried to keep my distance because I was still in love with him. My second year of college, his younger brother decided to come to the same college as me. I was nervous knowing that he was going to be there once and awhile. We started to talk on the phone and during family weekend at school. He came to hang out with his brother but hung out with me more. Then the second semister we started our friendship up and we talked on the phone every Sunday night for hours about everything. Often times I drove my roommate nuts. If he called any other times I would ignore the call because I was nervous. That summer we hung out and our friendship was back and I was still in love with him. My third year of college I had a dorm room by myself and I admited to him on the phone that I was going to hide myself for my twenty-first birthday because several of my friends were pressuring me to drink that night. He surpised me on my birthday by showing up after lunch and we hung out all day.
That October, during general conference. I just listend to the Kansas City temple being announced to be built. when I recieved a phone call from a creepy voice saying, "Go downstairs and outside." I was not doing that no matter how many times that guy called. I asked one of my friends to go with me and we found a flower with a note attached. I reconized the handwriting as it was the love of my lifes. As my friends and I went around following the flowers. At the end as we neared the building one of my friends said, "What if he's down on one knee?" I glared at her and then I was really nervous. Of course he was not even there but some roses in a vase with a note attached. The note said something like if you want to be my girlfriend again and know who this is call him. I called him and he didn't answer. He called me back and said, "yes?" I said, "I called didn't I." He rounded a building and I ran into his arms. We kissed and I was in his arms again.
If you haven't figured it out. My first love is my lovely husband Stephen. He was always my first love and I can't wait till he's my last love. I can't wait to see him fall in love with our daughter in May.


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