Wednesday, July 29, 2009


So since I started writing everyday in here there isn't much to say really. So you are more going to hear a lot of random thoughts that go through my mind then what i am up to. Anyways lately though I have been on Stephen's cool laptop. His works so much easier then my own that I find when he is busy at work I am usually doing stuff on it. Even if it's just playing minsweeper. But I also listen to music quite a lot when I am working on something or just playing a game. I have started to listen to Stephen's itunes and I realized that we have completely different taste in music. Some of his music I am still trying to figure out some of his music. But I am starting to get a taste for them which is funny anyways. As Stephen and I started to date I started to make cds of music we both like for the reason that we can listen to it in the car. Over time we found more music we like and we often listen to them in the car together. We slowly get to a middle ground with music. But what's nice is now that we are grown up we both don't like a certain kind of music. I started only liking country and then went off to college and my music just opened up into a whole different place. So it's interesting to say the least.


Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Not many people that I know really understand arthritis unless they have it. I have friends who still don't believe that I have arthritis because they don't want to think of someone our age could have it. When in reality kids as young as an infant could have arthritis. It's amazing that you don't hear about kids having it but you hear about adults and the elderly having it. You don't hear the kids talk about the many pain pills they take on the commercials. How different they feel when they can't run or play the games that others there age do. How there classmates think they are faking it and are just plain lazy. How hard it is to wake up in the morning knowing that you will have notes to write and ur hands will be killing you near the end of the school day. To just have to do it tomorrow. No one sees how hard it is to get up in the morning knowing that the day at school is going to be hard because of the weather outside. No one notices it and no one thinks of it. Because it's not so easy to notice that a child has arthritis as it is to a kid having another disease like cancer or even diabetes.
I grew up with arthritis. For some odd reason Heavenly Father thought I should have this disease and give me this challenge to overcome. Every day since I was little I struggle to be normal and fight against my joints. The medicine is not really designed for children to take so you have a greater risk of the side effects. Like losing bone denisity, damage to the liver, damage to the heart, overweight, and not even be able to have children. How can people explain to a cute little two year old that she needs to make the option of having children in the future or living with the pain. No one could. I am lucky enough to be ten when I found out about having arthritis. Because I got the option and I flately told my parents no. I am still able to have children and you know what I wouldn't want it any other way. I want to be able to hold my own child in my body and to know that when nine months later happens I'll have a child that I have bonded with.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Breakdown to Babysitting

So last week on Friday I had a mental breakdown. Because on Wednesday and Thursday we finished moving out stuff over to Stephen's parents house and out of the rental house. We offically slept in the house on Thursday night and Stephen left for work the following morning. As I was slowly unpacking our room trying to find places to put our stuff I realized that this room doesn't have any of my personality in it. It didn't feel like I actually was going to be living in this room. Which slowly had me crying and litterally feeling out of place in the whole family. The whole family likes me and I do fit in but it's not what i grew up to be apart of. For most of my days at home it was just me and my parents then it was just me and my mom. Since my siblings are seven, eight, and nine years older then I am. So I didn't know what it meant to have a lot of family in the house. But in truth, I didn't know where I fit into the whole family at all or even my room. Everything just started to get worse and I didn't know what to do or anything. i realized that I mostly stay up in Stephen's and My room while he is at work only leaving to go to the bathroom. Because I feel like I was walking in on their own time and I don't fit.
Anyways, I called my two sisters. One didn't answer her phone so I called the other crying and just upset. I realized that my sister livid with her in-laws while her son was just a baby years ago. I talked to her about what I was feeling and she said that it was normal. I most likely won't get a break out of it. But to create a place for my stuff somewhere. I finally talked to Stephen about what I was feeling and slowly we started to make the room our room. We hung up pictures and hooks. We also brought in my dresser and my desk from my bedroom at my mom's house. Slowly this room is starting to feel like my room.
On Saturday, Stephen and I were asked to watch Mike and Elyse's kids for overnight as it was the anniversery. It was a lot of fun. We played wii and then Stephen went and got some pizza for us and the kids. Then we went to the park and played until seven. The kids went to bed at seven thirty and we stayed up and watched movies together. It was nice. On Sunday at six fourty five I realized that the boys might not realize to come wake us up. So I went to open the door to the bedroom and heard little noise down in the living room. Sure enough both of the boys were just chilling in the dark on the couch. They were just sitting there talking to each other not doing really much of anything. It was interesting. But all in all Stephen and I had fun watching the kids.
On Sunday we went to my mom's and had dinner with her. We just relaxed together and watched Ace of Cakes and America's Funniest Videos together. So it was a lot of fun and the food was greet.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009


So last night, we were just relaxing. I cuddled with Stephen as much as I could because when I am tired I just want to cuddle and be comfortable. We watched tv together just cuddling then went upstairs. I love how we can be in the same room and yet be doing different things. I was reading a novel and he was playing a game on his laptop. But we were both comfortable until we finally went to sleep.
The main reason I am writing this blog today is because I want to list my reason for wanting to lose weight. I have always felt the need to lose weight because I never wanted to be the fat girl of the class. Have people see me fat rather then beautiful and sexy. When people look at me they don't see my personality they see a fat chick. But I really started wanting to lose weight for myself because the fact that it's distorying my joints worse then my RA is something that no one can fix. It's causing me to be more in pain then not to be in pain and for me who doesn't take medicine for RA it's something that can cause me to run fevers and miss classes. I can't have that anymore and I want to have my joints not some metal pretending to be my joints. Another thing if the way I am going in being healthy then I won't cost a lot of heartaches and medical problems. I won't have to spend thousands of dollars on keeping my body. But also I want to be walking and running with my own children. I don't want to have the risk of having a premature baby when the time comes. I want to have healthy babies and I want to be able to enjoy them as they grow. I want to be able to walk along side Stephen for the rest of my life not be pushed in a wheelchair. That's why I want to lose weight.

222 2/75 pounds

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Beginning of the Week

So right at this moment I am chilling out with my brother-in-law Charlie. Stephen started back to work this week and it's been pretty weird without him around the house. On Sunday, we went to church in my mom's ward for the final time before my church records were transfered to Stephen's ward. Then we headed to his house for a little time alone while his family was at church. I am finding out that you don't get much time alone when you live with family. Then we headed to my mom's for dinner and games. We played Mario 8 with her and had a blast playing and just enjoying the time together. Finally, we had to head back to our place to get some sleep since Stephen had to be on the road to work by seven twenty.
On Monday, I got up at seven with Stephen and we had breakfast together before he left to work. I knew the rest of the family was going to work on the house but I stayed at the rental house to clean the room and look for books for school (which I am dreading). Then I hung out with Stephen's mom looking at all the free samples you can get online. We got a lot of free samples.
Today, Stephen left after breakfast and headed to work while I hung out with Charlie and Scotty (my brother-in-laws)We played some wii and talked it was nice to just hang out. Even though Scotty creamed us in the game of Mario 8. Then I excersed on the wii fit.
That's another thing. Stephen and I want to lose weight so we are trying hard to get it in. We started going on walks when he gets off work and talk. It's our alone time and a way for him to just relax. Also we decided that if we want soda we have to also get the same amount in water and to drink both hopefully it will work. I found out today that I have exactly seventy-five pounds to lose or more by my first year anniversery. Hopefully I can do it.

225 Pounds 0/75 to go.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Life is Good.

So things have been settling for the most part. I am finally getting used to having several people in the house and barely getting alone time in. It's getting used to living with the in-laws. Which is what Stephen and myself will do till I am done with school. But I am making it work slowly. I am finding that Stephen and I don't get much alone time with his younger siblings and sometimes parents are around and I have a feeling it will get worse when he goes back to work. But it's been nice to just relax and enjoy time together. We been playing a wii game that is Mario Party 8 and having a blast with it. It gets us laughing and having fun which is really nice to tell the truth. But we also have our own time like me reading a book and him just playing on his video game. But we are still in the same room and once and awhile steal a kiss from each other. But life has been great...I really don't want to go to school and leave my loveing husband. It's going to be hard...really hard.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Wedding and the Pre-Honeymoon

So as you most likely guessed that I haven't been writing much as of the wedding and the pre-honeymoon. The wedding went great where only a few things happened that day. Like Stephen had to run to walmart to get new pants. There was a car accident in the parking lot that thankfully I never heard of. But it was wonderful to say the least. But before the wedding my maid of honor and myself went to her parents house to relax and get me to just forget that I am getting married later in the day. Then we went and got my nails done which I am still highly in love with. Stephen also says he enjoys the nails on my hand. Then we headed to my house relaxed for a bit then headed to the church. Once we got to the church we slowly walked around and I finally got to see the what the whole thing looked liked. It was beatiful and I felt like everything was perfect. Finally, the time came where I had to get dressed and get everything ready. I felt ready to marry the one I love.
When I walked down the aisle and saw him standing there I knew that this was it. I had a huge smile as I looked at him. My sister-in-law Johanna sang a song and man can she sing. I tried not to cry during her song and succeeded. I couldn't wait to say I do when the time came and it didn't come soon enough really. Then we exchanged rings and Stephen almost put the ring on the wrong finger. But we forgot to kiss before we walked down the aisle as husband and wife. But we finally did and then the pictures started. I never thought they would end to tell the truth but I know I will be glad later to have them. Everything went well and it was a wonderful night. But I couldn't wait to leave to be just with Stephen for a couple of days.
On our honeymoon we went to KCMO and stayed at a hotel. The hotel looked like it was nothing on the outside but the inside was wonderful. We had a huge room and it was nice to just hang out there. On Sunday we drove back home to open gifts and then on Monday we went to Oceans of Fun. We both got minor burns on a few things but all in all it was a lot of fun. On Tuesday we chilled out in the room and then went to the midnight movie realise of Harry Potter which was great!!!! Of course it was packed seeing that all six theaters were sold out of the film. Then we slept in on Wednesday and went home.
I love being a Mrs. and I love my husband dearly.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Siblings 2 DAYS!!!

So last entry was about my nieces and nephews so one of my friends decided to talk about her family. Well I thought I would break some of my family into different entries. So I thought I would tell you about my siblings. I am the youngest of four and the only one that is not adopted into the family by my mom. But the funny thing is they are all actual siblings.
The oldest would be my brother James who is now an old fart of thirty years old. My brother is nine years older then me and we don't generally see each other very much. He last I knew was going to college to become a web design. He is dating a lady named Shannon who I haven't met. He was married to a women named Kris who he met in another state when he was young. They had a beautiful son named Austin. He also had a son named Alex with another women. My greatest memories of my brother were the times that he split my bike helment in two on top of my head. Or giving me a black eye when I was little with a baseball.
My sister Christy is twenty nine years old and can be a pain. She is the one who looks like the odd one out of the family with her personality and her looks. She though is married to a great guy named Scott and she has two kids from a previous boyfriend and is now a step mom. She and I go way back with our fights that shook the house since we were eight years difference. But as we gotten older things are settled down and we are often talking at least once a day.
My sister Necia is the baby of my older siblings. She is twenty-eight years old and has been married nine years to a lovely guy. They have two beautiful children Dallas and Maddison. She would love to stay home and be a stay at home mom. But with the way the money is right now she is a para at the school district local. She loves it and wishes she can go to school to become a teacher.

That is my siblings and we have had our hardships as well as joys. But the things is that since I am older and starting to understand the adult world according to my sisters. I have been closer to them then I have ever before. My sister Necia and Christy are both helping with things for the wedding and I can't wait to share it with them. I just wish my brother could be here as well.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Nieces and Nephews 3 Days!

So nothing really much going on in my life other then wedding stuff. Who wants to hear all about wedding stuff. I just had several of my friends become Aunts and Uncles and I it brought memories back of the many times that I have become an Aunt. I have nine nieces and nephews. Yeah you heard me. I have nine just myself. Soon I will be adding six to that nine and I am sure Stephen's family is not done growing. Each niece and nephew has an important aspects to them and each are different then all the others.
My nephew Austin is my brother's oldest son. He is twelve years old and at the time he was born I was only nine years old. I was so excited to be an Aunt at a young age that I got to experience childhood along side with him. I have pictures of me holding him and not wanting to let go of that cute little boy. He was the one who taught me how to be a child during the hard years. I don't get to see him a lot but looking through his mom's pictures on facebook I watch him grow into it. Now he is dating a girl and catching lots of fish. But i will always remember the two hour old baby that I held in my arms.

Then little over a year later my sister Necia told the family she was going to have a baby. We later found out it was a boy and he was due around christmas. He gets the most timely birth out of all of them. My sister was only in labor for two hours tops. He livid with us with his mother for awhile and I got to experience living with a cute little baby next door. Dallas is now ten years old and he is starting to look like a teenager. It's amazing how much I can embrass him now.

Then came the birth of my nephew who is also my cuddle bear. Calvin who is born to my sister Christy. He is nine years old and he still loves to cuddle up to me. He was my special nephew who was born premature and every year it makes me cry to see how far he has come. He had a sugury when he was only two weeks old and it was on his lung. I also was close to him because I babysat him for a couple of years and I am so close to him. He is so cute that I love him.

Then my beautiful niece Maddison was born to my sister Necia. I thought that I was in love with all my nephews but when my niece was born. I couldn't be any happier. She is a beautiful seven year old who knows when it's time to be a princess and when it's time to get down and dirty. She has the grace of her mother and her father's sense of humor.

Then my sweet little Abriana. When she was born to my sister Christy I thought I had a prefect family. She was the sweetest and one of the most happiest little babies I have ever seen. She was so cute with no hair compare to her niece Maddison who had a full head of hair. But I couldn't believe that I had two beutiful nieces to love and spoil. I couldn't wait to babysit her like I babysat her brother and I have many many tails of her when she was little. She is now reading and writing and going to girls scouts. She loves her mother at times but in other she can act like a teenager at the age of seven.

I also have a little nephew that I have never met and never will. My brother and a lady that I don't know had a baby named Alex. My brother signed away his rights as soon as she got married to another guy. Alex has never known my brother and never will know the loving family he has. But I got the chance to become friends with his mother slightly and she sent me a picture of him and he looks a lot like his brother Austin. He is five years old.

Then there is Austin's sister Jakouri. Who I met when she was a little baby girl and she became a niece to me even though she not my brother or sister's kid. She is nine years old and from pictures a stinker.

When my sister Christy married last year to a man named Scott she also became a step parent to a sixteen year old and a fourteen year old. When I met them around Christmas me and the two of them hit it off so quickly ignoring the fact that I am not that much older then them. I know call them family even though I don't get to see them alot they are my niece and nephew. Mike and Amanda.

In truth I am excited to get to know my soon to be nieces and nephews because then I get to be able to spoil them as well. I can't wait till I see most of my nieces and nephews at my wedding with my soon to be nieces and nephews. It's no more greater joy then being an Aunt. Because after spoiling them rotten we get to send them home to mom and dad.


Monday, July 6, 2009

4 DAYS!!!

So I got more packing and cleaning down it seems like things are slowly getting to where I need them to be. But I have a whole lot to do still and I am sure that won’t get any easier. Today, I spent time with my mom just sitting around in the living room relaxing. Then I was able to just cuddle up against Stephen and watch the bacherlette and then the Newlyweds. We then walked outside and just talked by his car and every once and while stole a kiss. I can’t believe in little over four days I will be married to him and I feel like when I walk down the aisle I will have tears falling down my cheeks. Because the man that I am walking towards is the man I will be with forever and that is so much. Sure we both have our fights but we also have our endless laughs and our small smiles. No matter what I am glad that my best friend will be the person I will marry because that’s what matters.



Can I tell you how much I hate packing...I swear where does all this stuff come from. Anyone knows because I have no idea. I have to get it done today or tomorrow...why...oh yeah. Because I am getting married this Saturday...omg. I can actually say this Saturday. I am so darn excited but I still have a lot to do. I have to pack my room help my mom clean the house. Get a hot sexy outfit to leave the church after the reception to go to the hotel. which gave us a free upgrade after hearing it was our honeymoon. Then I need to take my clothes and stuff that I don't want to Salvation Army. Sweep my room and dust and get ready to take my stuff down stairs to the basement for later moving in years to come. Excercise so I can make sure my dress will still fit...that would kind of suck. Go get Blake, Sarah, and Alex (Sarah's boyfriend) from the airport on Friday night. Then drop the two boys off at Sarah's house and kidnap Sarah and keep her with me. Oh my grandparents are coming in on Thursday with my two cousins and one cousins soon to be wife. They are getting married next year. Go on a double date with my cousin and his soon to be wife with Stephen on Thursday. The rehersal at four thirty on Friday. The rehersal dinner on Friday at five. And's crunch time...and i am loving it.
I can't wait to marry him and be with him for the rest of my life.


Saturday, July 4, 2009


So today is the fourth of july. Okay it's actually really early morning of the fifth but lets pretend. Anyways, today it makes you think of the service men and women around the world serving for United States. I know several people who are serving the United States and I am always grateful that they come into my life. My own brother-in-law Scott serves in the army and he hasn't been to Iraq since marrying my sister because his group actually trains the soliders that head over. But soon he is transfering so he doesn't have to move around which means he might have to head to Iraq or anywhere else. It makes me really nervous to see how it all turns out but that's okay. Then I have one of my good friends who is serving for the Marines. He is right now based in Japan and from what he says loves being there but soon he will be transfered to the Middle East. It makes me so nervous to see him going because of what I see on tv I just hope that he will be okay.
In other words today, Stephen and I helped my mom clean up the backyard then we took one of the groomsmen to get a suit jacket and tie. We then went to his house to hang out and ended up playing with my wii with his parents. I believe we played more then twelve games of bowling. But it was nice. Then we met my mom at the movies and watched The proposal. We laughed through the whole thing and Stephen and I both say it was a wonderful movie. It's worth seeing that is for sure.

Well I need sleep...night.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Spending Time

So today was slightly busy day okay I lied. It was a nice calm day for once. Stephen was off work because of the Fourth of July weekend. So yesterday as I said in our last post we both had a night hanging with our gender. He was at his brother Jimmy's place of residence playing halo while I was at his parents house watching chick flicks. We all decided this will most likely be a monthly thing where the guys get together and the girls get together. It will be interesting to say the least if we keep it up. I hung out at his parents till one in the morning. It was weird but kind of nice. I got to know two of my soon-to be sister-in-laws, Johanna and Natalie, and also hung out with my soon-to-be mother-in-law. It was nice to just relax and hang out with them watching movies and snacking. While the guys were playing halo. To tell the truth I love playing halo...even though I suck at it. lol.
Today, Stephen got here around ten and we had to run errands first then headed to the church parking lot where I was learning how to drive. I am trying to learn how to drive before going back to school. It shall be interesting to say the least. Of course I got the hang of the parking lot and Stephen told me to hit the street. Of course I started freaking out. I was no where ready to hit the road I was still uncomfortable being behind the wheel. So then we headed to his parents old place to see if they needed any help because a pipe burst I believe. Nothing needed there so we headed to best buy and got two seasons of Ghost Hunters. Which we after lunch headed to his parents house to watch. We cuddled while watching the seasons. I love that show it's so interesting to see when they capture something. My eyes have a habit of watering when ever they catch something it's so weird. Then Stephen dropped me off at my house and ventured to his friend Peter's house for his bachlor party which he happens to be playing halo. So that's what going on. Oh the gift boxes are done for the guest for the wedding and the flowers are done. Things are finally getting done for the wedding...I can't believe it's seven days till I say I do.
Oh Stephen called the hotel we are staying at telling them that it's our honeymoon and they did a free upgrade. So now we are in a suit that over looks the lake and the pool. Also we are on one of the most expensive floors for fifty-five dollars. I can't wait.


Thursday, July 2, 2009

G.N.O and B.N.O oh 8 DAYS!!

So I just had a fun packed day...okay I actually didn't have a fun packed day. I pretty much spent my whole day packing my room up. I am no where close in being done which is one huge bummer to tell the truth. But it will be worth it once everything is packed and ready to go. So I worked on that then took a nice cool shower and headed out with Stephen. We first ate and talked while we waited to talk to the bishop about the finish the wedding plans. Then we headed back to his parents house where he was dropping me off at his parents and going on his way to his brother Jimmy's place of living. It started last month where the guys get together for a fun night of halo and food and killing night. They have a Halo lan party where they have a group of guys together and play halo. Well us girls felt left out last time they had one so we this month planned to have a girls night in. Where we watched movies while the boys are gone.
More later because I am tired and I am going driving tomorrow...


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

True Friends?

So lately I have felt problems more then anything. One day this week I found out that several of my friends weren't coming to my bridal shower. It made me feel like my friends don't care what happens with my life. I had several friends say they can't make it to the wedding because they were too busy in their life. Or that the distance was out of their way to get there. And yet I get those friends who are flying in the night before from Michigan and Maryland using their own money to get here to celebrate my wedding with me. Stephen got home that day and found me clinging on him and knowing what was bothering me. It just wasn't fair to me that my friends can't bother spending time with me. Though my Maid of Honor spent the time to sit in her bedroom at the hotel she staying this summer for her intership to be on a webcam at my bridal shower. Nothing is more special then that. She could't play the games and at time had nothing to do other then sit back and watch. Yet she was there and that's what I care about so deeply. So why couldn't my other friends be there to experience the joys.
It's so hard to understand what they were thinking when they made that option. I have rubbed their backs while they were puking their guts in the toilets. Talked to them about what is wrong with them because their boyfriend broke their heart. Went to doctors appointments with them that never in a million years that I wanted to go with them. But I did all that for them and this is how they repay me. It hurts to tell the truth. It hurts to see who the true friends are. Sure I have my two bridesmaids couldn't make it because something came up which is understandable. But the ones who didn't is what hurts the most.

Guess when you get married you find out who your true friends are.

10 Days and Bridal Shower.

So yesterday was a lot of fun to say the least. I packed a bit but not the amount that I should have I more relaxed and enjoyed my day. But by the time Stephen got off work I was ready to go to his house. When we got to his house everyone was cleaning the house for the bridal shower that they were giving me. Stephen and I worked on getting the laptop set up and ready for the webcam so my Maid of Honor Sarah could be there. She's on an intership in Maryland and from some things it seems like she is having a bunch of fun. So we set up the webcam and hoped for the best that it would be good for her. Slowly people started to arrive with food to share for everyone and have me taste. It was a potluck bridal shower and they brought a recipe card to put in the cook book that I was recieving as a present from one of the sisters in the church. I saw my soon to be sister-in-laws Natalie and Kari arrive. Kari brought her daughter along who happens to be my flower girl and she seemed so excited. She came over to me and gave me a hug and said, "Hi Aunt Kendra." I had to give her kudos for already calling me Aunt. Soon the room was packed full of the sisters of the church. Even Sarah's older sister Annie came to support me. Stephen's parents neighbor came who I got to meet for the first time. I had so much fun. Yet in the pictures that one of my friends took for me you can't tell that I had fun. I didn't have a smile on my face at all. I got wonderful gifts from everyone some of them weren't even on our registery. Stephen and I played a game where we had to answer questions about ourselves and had to match with each others answers we got 9 out of 15 questions right. Though Stephen didn't know when he purposed to me...March 6th, 2009. The day two days after our anniversery and write before our soon to be wedding anniversery. It's amazing how fast everything is going. Soon my grandparents will be in town to help with everything. I am far by being done in today it's packing day. I have only ten days till I walk down the aisle and say I do...super excited.