Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Deep Breaths

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. It does seem like no one really reads my blog anyways. So, things have been hectic. But I'll get to that in another post. I just want to talk about how much it bothers me when certain people look down upon me. Sure I am not a stright A student and am not a great speller. But I have the passion and the drive to become a teacher. Even if it's taking me longer to get there.

But it's not only that, I am getting looked down upon because I have a child and in school. I couldn't wait to become a mother but being a mother does not mean that I need to give up my dream of getting a degree. What would that say to Ginny, if I just said, because you were born. I couldn't accomplish my dream. That would also make me resent having a baby in the first place. How could a resent my beautiful brown hair hazel eyed little girl.

Also, I am not the prefect church member. I get that. I am not there every Sunday at church and I am not sealed to my husband. I totally get why people look down upon me. But they don't know me. They can't tell if I am having problems with my RA that day or am taking care of my husband who is in pain. They don't understand that I wanted my sister's at my wedding actually needed them there to see me get married. They don't understand that I will get sealed when the Kansas City temple is done.

Another thing is that I don't like being pressured. Please don't pressure me to get pregnant soon just because someone else in the ward is already pregnant with their next child. We are waiting until I am done with school so that I don't feel overwhelmed. Especially when I am this close in graduating and becoming a teacher. I love my daughter but I can wait until I am done.

Please also don't pressure me to being a stay at home mom. You don't realize how much I rather be home with my daughter then getting a career. But what happens if my hsuband can't work or what happens if by chance he passes away. I won't be able to survive in this world without a career in the backups. Also I would love to be a stay at home mom but right not I need to do this first. I need to be able to be able to support my children and myself if something does happen. Because life is short.