Monday, January 17, 2011

Bummed

Hey,
So when I found out that I was expecting on August 29th, I took out an empty notebook and wrote a letter to my unborn child. About my fears of becoming a mother and how excited I was. My first thought of expecting the child that was inside of me. I also wrote about my first moment that I got to see my little one at 10 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Well...the notebook has been missing for over a month now. Do I miss having it, I do. I wanted to give my child those letters when they are feeling low on themselves and offically give it to them when they leave home. I was going to contuine writing letters through out my whole pregnancy of moments that I felt close to her.
Since losing it I have been bummed and looking everywhere for the notebook. Today I realize that I might never see the notebook that held my fears, loves, and hopes for my unborn child. So I found an empty notebook today and I decided to write a letter to Ginevera aobut those moments as much as I can remember. I am writing about the moments of feeling her kick, the moment that I found out she was my little girl, watching Stephen feel her kick him in the face, my mom feeling her kick for the first time. I am going to write about all those memories so that when Ginevera feels like no one loves her. She will realize that I have always loved her.
A long time ago I used to write letters to my first child even before I got pregnant. Stephen and I were not trying to have a baby when we did it was a suprise. But every time I thought of becoming a mother I would write a letter to my unborn children telling them how much I love them even though I can't see them and am not pregnant with them. But over time I thought they were stupid and I would tear them up and throw them away. How I wish I kept those keepsakes of me and my feelings for my children.
Kk

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