So, since today is Sunday and it's five in the morning I thought I would make a blog post. I am not your every day mormon person. I have had my ups and downs and fall outs in the church. My mom and siblings were all baptised on the same day. I was four years old and blessed in the church. I was then baptised at eight years old by my dad. It's been a hard road for me to travel. My family stopped going to church for awhile. My siblings stopped going to church all together. My parents got a divorce, my sisters got pregnant. All the pressure for me to stay in the church and get married in the temple was all on me. I didn't have a testimony of the church at all. I didn't feel like I belonged in the church but only went to make my mom happy. To try and fit in with my peers.
When I went off to college I went to church. I started to and was really happy in going. But I stopped going because I didn't feel like I belonged. I didn't have a father who had the priesthood and didn't really have friends in the ward. I was in love with a boy that broke my heart.
When I got engaged, I knew I didn't want to be married in the temple. I wanted my siblings to be able to see me get married to my husband. I wanted that experience that I watched both of my sisters recieve. But now that I am married and very much in love with my husband. I can't see my self without him even if one of us die. I want him forever in my life. To make that real we started to grow our own testimonies. We started to go back to church and I felt like I belonged. Now that I am pregnant I want the very best for my daughter. I want her to know that just because she doesn't have a testimony right now she can build her own slowly. I am starting to have a testimony and I am hoping that by the time that the Kansas City temple gets done that I will be ready to be sealed to not only my husband but to our little girl as well. Because I want to be with them forever.
Kk
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I love your honest thoughts. I was not a member when I married Adam nor was I interested. Over time, my heart began to soften and 4 years after we were married I was baptized and a year later went to the temple. Ariel was just 6 months old and I can tell you there is nothing like being sealed to your husband and daughter. It a lot of work to stay active in the church and A LOT of work raising your family in the gospel but Kendra it is so worth it!!
Totally glad you shared this and that... well... that I'm not the only one... I mean, I know that I've been active in the church forever, but coming out here to College, being on my own, it's different then being at home and I definitely feel that out-of-place feeling, partly because I am discovering that my beliefs line up with most of what is taught by the first presidency, but a lot less with what is taught by my peers.. and a lot of other things... Anyway.
Keep-a-writin'
~Floyd
Post a Comment