Thursday, August 6, 2009

School :(

So Stephen and I were talking yesterday and it dawned on the two of us that we have ten days till I have to go back to school. How can i leave my home, my husband to go live in a dorm for most of the year. I feel like one of those horrible wives who don't live at home but always on the go to make something of herself and not be there for the ones who need her like her husband. Sure Stephen understands why I have to go to school. i told him i rather not go but he said he will make sure that I do go. It's so hard to do this. We really only had/have a little over a month to feel the sure effects of marriage. Most of that was litterally moving and packing and moving and unpacking. Now that it's time to say goodbye is going to be tearful. Last night as we were talking about it I tried my best not to cry. I don't want to think about leaving because I would be leaving home. It's weird how much I have changed. When I went to school my first year i was scared to death about how i was going to make friends and everything. My second year i couldn't wait to go to college to be with my friends and just enjoy life away from my mom and away from several people. My third year I started to be my own person living on my own though still in the dorms. But having my own room and realizing how much I have grown. Now going back for my fourth year I have realized all the mistakes that I have made pervious years. Some years I slacked off in class when I should have studied more and been more into my studies rather then in my friends. Because this year should have been my last year of college when in reality I have two more years or so before I graduate. This time I am dreading to go to school like no other. Going to school is no longer my home my place. Because my place is where ever Stephen is and that is here. On the sixteenth I am going to be in a crying wreck because i shouldn't be going to school I should be with him. I hate this feeling. I am going to be living in a dorm that has no life and no joy. It's going to be one difficult road to get down but we can do it.


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