So Monday was very hard to be at school. I didn't want to be here I wanted to be home. I am starting to realize that where ever Stephen is my home is. Sure I am used to come back to school and being away from him while at school. But it doesn't make it any easier. It also doesn't make it easy to be away from my mom while she is in the hospital. She doing a bit better but not very much better it still scares me that I might lose her. I am not ready to say goodbye to her just yet. I want her around to see me get married and then later in the future see me have my own children. I just hope that this will be awhile before her next surgry. But I have to admit that Stephen is a big help. He went to the hospital to see my mom, but of course she was sleeping. But he told me that if something happens he would make sure I get home. I don't know where I would be without him in my life. Tuesday was boring but I got really homesick. I haven't been really homesick since I was a freshmen. But in truth i am really homesick. Oh I did also write a story...since I am sure my life bores you. So here is my short story.
Fade to Black
Sitting at her desk she listened to the outside noise waiting anxiously for the familiar gurgle of the engine of the car. She pulled a piece of paper from the top drawer and quickly started writing her rough draft of her English paper, hoping to get it done before the familiar footsteps hit the hard wood floors below. She heard the gurgle of the engine and quickly she glanced out the window beside her though she knew she would see the familiar blue Chevy truck in the driveway. Sure enough it was just pulling into the drive. Quickly, Lily removed all of her jewelry and placed them in a shoe box and then shoved it under her bed. She then pulled the dark navy blue curtains over the windows not only to not let the light into her room but to prevent any noisy neighbors to see what might happen. The silence of her room was broken by hearing the key in the front door lock and then each footstep of his work boots below as her heart matched them. Slowly and drawn out his voice roughly rang through the hall, “LILY!”
Lily knew that if she doesn’t answer he might by chance leave her alone for at least an hour or even a couple of minutes at least. But no matter what he would be coming up to her room to see if she is in there. His anger might have increased but Lily knew that maybe there was hope that he would forget she was even there.
Lily sat on her bed knowing that in the end, he would appear in her bedroom. As she awaited for the verdict she looked on her bedside table and saw that the table was titled to the side as one of the legs of the table was bent. She then looked at the picture frame that the glass was removed out of earlier that year. In the picture was a beautiful women with blonde curls and a gentle smile upon her lips. Her soft slender arms were wrapped around a girl with long black curly hair that had a cute small button nose upon her face. The little girl had her head tilted to the side as if she was talking to the lady behind her before the picture was taken. On her face laid a smile that lit up the whole picture. Lily felt her own small smile appear on her lips in memory of that time that perfect happy time in her life.
She heard the clunk of boots as they quickly climbed up the stairs leading to her bedroom as well as his own. Quickly placing the frame back on the bed stand just in time as she heard her door knob rattling under his heavy grasp. Ever so slowly the door knob started to turn and Lily stood knowing that it’s better standing her ground then being below him. The door opened to reveal the tall man with slight grey highlights showing in his thick black greasy hair. His eyes were sharp on her while his nose held a slight bent because of a bar fight two years prior. His hands hung at his slender hips in a tight fist. While his shirt which was covered in grease spots used to be loose years ago upon his skin was now tight across his beer gut. His work boots and his jeans were covered in mud and muck and Lily was sure from the smell some kind of asphalt. She could also smell the whisky on his breath as he slowly closed the door behind him. He slowly opened his mouth into a sneer and then pushed through his lips, “I called you, did you hear me you bitch.”
“I must have had music on. Sorry, Dad.” Lily knew that no matter what she says won’t make him stop what she knew was coming in the end. She though held her chin up and looked at him in the eye. Lily watched him take his steps towards her slowly raising his hand in what Lily knew was the first slap of many. When his hand hit her cheek the sheer force knocked her to the ground. Lily looked up at her father who used to bring fake jewerally home when he came home from work. Before she had time to get off the floor she found he was wrapping her long curly black hair around his hands so tight that Lily knew that she lost a few of her precious curls. He used her hair to pull her off the ground and to standing close to him. When she was leveled with him she closed her eyes to try to stop the tears gathering in her eyes as the pain of him holding her hair was increasing as he was tightly closing his fist. He shook her using her hair and his other hand to shake her head as if to shake her brains out of her head. “Open your eyes, bitch,” Lily heard her father yell right before he let go of her hair and then slammed her body against the wall nearly missing her desk. Lily felt the sheer force could shatter a bone in her body but she was surprised when she felt that all of her bones were still in tact.
She opened her eyes to look at the angry body standing above her and was surprised to find that he had a weapon in his hand. Never in her whole life did her father carry a gun or anything that would hurt her other then his own bare hands. Lily quickly tried to gather her feet underneath to stand. When she stood up and had her back against the wall she saw that the gun was pointed at her heart, “Dad…”
Normally, Lily never uttered a word to him because when he was in this state a single word from her lips could make him worse then it was before. Her father looked at the gun with a snide sneer and Lily felt herself actually worried that he was going to kill her. He looked at her and then said, “Scared?” Lily nodded her head as he threw the gun to her bed and picked up the metal baseball bat that Lily received when she was six years old. Before she knew it he slammed the baseball bat into her legs as if he was going for a home run. Lily heard her right leg crack from the pressure and soon found herself falling quickly on the floor slowly she watched her father raise the bat again and soon it came down hard on her other leg.
Lily bit her bottom lip to keep herself from screaming from him beating her legs with the bat over and over and hearing her own bones shattering at each hit. Lily tried her best to keep her eyes open but slowly found herself slipping into the blackness as her father moved to her arms. When she opened her eyes again she saw him standing over with a grin that even the devil couldn’t conquer. She then felt a blow to her ribs and heard most of her bones cracking. Before she slipped into blackness again she heard her father say with a chuckle, “Die Bitch Die.”
Lily opened her eyes and found her room was dark so she knew it been hours since she was last awake. She slowly rolled over on her side quickly as she could before she chocked on the blood that was coming up her throat. She soon puked all the blood up and then looked around the area around her and saw blood splattered against the wall beside her. She clenched her bottom lip to keep from screaming as all the pain entered her body. She then looked around and knew that for once she might not make it through the night.
Lily realized that not only did her father break most of the bones in her body but she couldn’t even feel her feet that she knew she still had on her body. She figured he took the bat to her spine and she feared that she might not be able to walk if she makes it through the night. Lily glanced around her room hoping that she could get to her bed at least or even to the bathroom. She felt a tear fall down her face and she then murmured silently into the dark, “Mom…please.”
Lily saw the hall light on outside her room and then heard her father’s soft footsteps as they neared her door. Lily knew that she can’t give up yet, her father would be alone if she wasn’t in his life. She sighed loudly and knew that if she was going to die tonight she was going to die with a fight. Slowly her bedroom door opened with a creak and the light hit Lily’s face. Lily glanced above her to see her father above her with the same baseball bat. Lily opened her mouth and then said, “Daddy, please…”
“I am not your father.”
“Daddy, please don’t do this. What about the time before mom death, we were happy back then. Please…” Lily felt tears gathering in her eyes quickly. Slowly she moved her arms broken boned as it was to touch his feet which only had socks upon them. Her father stepped out of her reach and Lily then said, “Please…”
Lily felt the pain shudder through her body and slowly found herself going towards darkness again and she tried to fight it as she heard a familiar voice that left her when she was ten years old, “Allen, don’t do this. It’s our little girl.” Within seconds Lily heard the heavy baseball bat come down and Lily closed her eyes tightly knowing the only thing left on her body that wasn’t broken was her mind. But the pain never came and she opened her eyes to find her father on his knees in front of her. She saw the tears were gathering in his eyes and knew he heard the voice as well. Soon her father stood and he left her bedroom to only return with a phone in his hand. He sat down next to Lily’s head and he then dialed a number, “Lily, stay with me. Please baby stay with me. I am so sorry.”
Lily couldn’t even hear the person on the other line but she heard her father say, “I need an ambulance to 913 W. Construction St. Please hurry.” Lily felt herself slipping again but this time she saw a bright white light and someone standing in it. Lily felt her body moving more and more towards the light and the more she moved towards it the less she heard of her father speaking in the phone. She neared the person and she realized it was the same women in the picture frame. The lady with blonde curls looked at Lily with her pure brown eyes and then said, “It’s time to leave.”
“What about, Dad?” Lily said. She couldn’t leave her father now he just realized what he was doing, “He still needs me.”
“He only needs himself and some help. He will be fine, we’ll watch over him. Just like I have been watching over both of you.” Lily felt the lady take her hand then said, “Lily, it’s time to go home.”
“Okay,” Lily then leaned in towards the lady and wrapped her arms around her form. The lady slowly wrapped her arms around her too and then Lily said, “I missed you, Mom.”
“I missed you too, Princess.”
A piece of paper was read to the crowd around a casket. In the hands of Lily’s English teacher who had tears in her eyes knowing if she assigned the assignment earlier her student with the bright smile would still be there with them instead of laying in the cold casket below the ground. She then said, “The last assignment that Lily wrote for me was something she said she would want to be read if she died. I want to read it for you, “I am the girl that everyone believes who has a true smile on my face. I am the girl who helps everyone in need and lets no one into her life. I am the girl who sits in the cafeteria alone for fear someone would know my secret. I am the girl who watched her mother get shot in front of eyes when I was ten when she was working at the bank. I am the girl who watches her father drink away her mother’s memories. I am the girl that knows every time her father hits her he isn’t himself. I am the girl who loves her father deeply no matter how hard he hits and how many times he calls me a Bitch. I am the girl who forgives her father and her mother’s murder. I am a girl who smiles no matter what. That is who I am.””