Friday, September 16, 2011

Having RA

I don't often talk about my arthritis because its not who I am and it does not run my life. But I need to right now. Things are bothering me. I feel like people don't realize how horrible arthritis is. Sure I don't talk about the pain that I have 24/7 but that doesn't mean its not there. I fight every day to be normal to act normal. To not show the pain that I am feeling. Like my husband has said many times. I have to remind myself that just because you don't show you are in pain doesn't mean that you are not. You have had twenty-four years of practice to cover the pain up.
I struggle working on my homework, writing notes for class. Walking to school is a struggle but I do it. Holding my daughter in my arms is a struggle. Most of the time I am trying not to cringe from the pain as I hold her. I dread the day when she walks because I won't be able to chase her like a normal mom. I will be proud of her as she takes that first step. But I will be sadden as it will be harder to keep her safe and sound. I struggle...a lot with these feelings.

1 comment:

Chanda Starr said...

You are such a positive example of strength. No doubts at all that you will be your daughters hero and not because of your arthritis but because you are you and her PERFECT mom!