As a mother you pray, and dream over the child inside you as soon as you see the double line on the pregnancy test. My second pregnancy was no different. It was a huge surprise to see the double line as my husband and I were joking when I took the pregnancy test. To come find out the joke was on us and we have an amazing little boy from it. Just a couple of weeks ago, Sesame Street announced that they were going to have a new puppet on that named Julia. This puppet was going to have AUTISM. As a mother who deals with autism every day and sees people judge my child it was a gift. To know that some day, people won't judge my child who has so many struggles inside his own body. So this is our story of AUTISM.
When I was pregnant with Miles it was perfect. I never got morning sickness, I felt him early on, and we were excited. I found out that I had Gestational Diabetes early and followed the rules. When he was born he was born at 37 weeks via repeat c-section. He actually, made eye contact with my doctor when he was delivered before she took him out of my uterus. He nursed right off the bat and had very little trouble with his blood sugar. He smiled at a very young age and was very quiet. He never coo, or laughed. Though before Miles was a year old, he was talking words such as Dada, Mama, and yellow. He was almost sleeping through the night.
I then had to start going to work, I had just graduated college and Miles was almost 18 months old. We found out we were pregnant with number three. Overnight, Miles changed. We thought it was because I started working but it kept going. He would go to bed at 7:30 and then at midnight be screaming and screaming non-stop for hours. He stopped talking all together. He was violent. He would hit and bite anyone who was loud. Especially his older sister. We moved to a house and things just kept getting worse. He was leaving scars on his sister from his bites and breaking skin. We would put him in time-out and he would bang his head against the door or wall while screaming. We were nervous for the baby that I was pregnant with. Especially since he would hit me and kick me in the stomach.
I thankfully was working with autistic children at the school. I knew how it was best to get him evaluated as quick as we can. He had all of the signs except he was social. Everywhere said they had a two year waiting list. As a mom...I was needing help. I needed help then with him. My daughter was terrified of her brother. I wanted him to have help before I had the baby. Finally, after many calls and calling crying. Infant Toddler came out to evaluate him. Of course he loved them off the bat and was so well behaved. But, I kept documents and documents of him with his behavior. They said he was borderline which means high functioning autistic. Now, we had answers a way to get him the help he needed.
We started therapy once a week for an hour. He changed so much, we followed and worked with him. He started to sleep better and behaviors started to go down. His speech is slow but it's increasing. We have our days and some days it leaves out pulling your hair out. But his good days are increasing. His sister actually plays with him.
Why, am I telling you our story, his story. Because there are still tons of people who judge us. We want our son to explore the world, to experience things like his sister. We don't know when he's going to have a huge meltdown. We can't time ourselves out in the open. We could be trying all different things or we could be doing the same thing we do all the time. They HAPPEN. They happen at church, they happen at the store, they happen at the park. THEY HAPPEN.
I am telling you this because Miles had a huge meltdown. All morning, I was dealing with him throwing things and having a lot of sensory problems. I knew he was going to blow up. His routine changed. His dad didn't want to wake him to say goodbye. We didn't know at the time how important that was to Miles. My mom thought it was best to take him to Walmart with her. He loves shopping so we thought it might get him off his blowup that was going to happen. He left with a happy face and then...when they returned my mom was crying. My daughter was crying...I knew something happened. My mom then told me this story.
"Miles screamed the whole time in the store. I just kept explaining to people that he was autistic. Some people even tried to help by getting his mind off of the screaming. He just kept screaming. I tried everything that has worked in the past. No luck. A lady approached me and I explained to her what happened. She then proceded to chew me out in front of Ginny and Miles that he had no right to be at the store. He should be home and should not be in public. I then tried to explain that he loves to go shopping and I was giving you a break. She still kept saying, He had no right to be in public."
Seriously, my son had no right to be in a store or in public. What gives her the right to tell my son or my mother that. Let alone anyone that. He has every right...because my son is amazing.
Yes, I get frustrated with him and need a break. But, he is an amazing little boy who loves people so much. He loves to cuddle and loves to give huge strong hugs to feel your love. He gets upset if you cry and tries to tell you he is sorry when he comes out of his meltdowns. This little boy is an amazing little boy who sees the world completely different then everyone else. He makes me think of things differently because of him and it helps me see the world as God created it.
Heavenly Father gave me this amazing little boy to teach me. I am learning so much from him. So...next time you see someone in the public who has a kid any age having problems. Be patient. Be kind. Go up to them and try to help. Even if it's to say, "It's okay..." Because you will get to meet an amazing child and you won't ever forget them.
