My Breastfeeding Journey

Hey, November 1-7th is Breastfeeding Week and this month is consider breastfeeding month. I thought I would share my own breastfeeding journey. My journey has been a long difficult one at that. It all started when I was young watching my two sisters nurse their own babies. I saw how well my nieces and nephews were and the connections my sisters had with their children. I knew that I wanted to breastfeed my own children. All of my pregnancy with Ginny, I prepared to breastfeeding never realizing that I would have struggles. I had a perfect pregnancy with very little struggles. I had an emergency c-section at 36 weeks and 6 days in my pregnancy because of pre-e. She came out sound asleep. She was a very sleepy baby with lots of little issues. She had blood sugar problems, large red blood cells, and low oxygen levels. I tried to nurse her in recovery but she would not latch. The nurse said to give her time. But when I was doing skin to skin with her a nurse yanked her from my arms to prick her foot to find her blood sugar was low. Without even asking me she stuck a bottle in my daughter's mouth to give her sugar water. I yelled out that I wanted no bottles as i was trying to breastfeed. The nurse then yelled back at me saying something along the lines of did I want my daughter to die. Soon my daughter was transfered to the best children's hospital to be monitored as her things were pilling up. I was also released from the hospital not even 36 hours after my c-section. The children's hospital had a LC on hand to help me over and over try to nurse my baby. I was pumping non stop and would try to nurse her every three hours for an hour. It was a struggle. I was told by my daughter's nurses and doctors and the LC that they have never seen a mom try so hard to nurse. I powered on. She was given formula in a tube through her nose to stomach so not to ruin my chance. Finally, I had to try to nurse then give her a bottle so that we would be able to go home. I would spend every three hours, trying to latch my daughter to the breast for 30 minutes or more. Then I would give her a bottle of formula then I would put her down to pump for 30 min. to an hour to get only half an ounce from both sides. It was like this for four months and I would often end pumping and end up crying as little milk I was getting. I was drinking the mother's milk tea, eating oatmeal, and doing everything I could. When my daughter was four months, I admitted to myself that I had no bond with my daughter as I was barely with her other then to try to nurse her. At four months I was getting barely .20 ounces out of each breast. I told my mom through tears about the pain. I told her that I felt like Ginny was no my child but someone elses that I was babysitting for. I decided right then that if I wanted a relationship with my daughter I needed to stop trying to breastfeed. I then admitted it to my husband who understood. Even after I decided to stop pumping and stop trying to breastfeed. Each bottle of formula my daughter took I would cry. I still struggle even after 2 years with the fact that I could not nurse my daughter. When I got pregnant with my second, I told everyone that I was going to try to breastfeed this baby. I knew it was not going to be easy but I was going to try. This pregnancy was the same but still hard. Though, at the end I ended up with some problems. I almost had him at 35 weeks with the fact my blood pressure was high, and low fluids. Though, everything stable before we went in to a c-section. I was able to hold off to have him at 37 weeks and 1 day. The c-section when great, and he even awake when he was delievered. As soon as we went to recovery I was able to try to nurse. He latched on like a pro and was nursing right off the bat. I was in tears to know that I was doing this. Nursing with Miles is amazing. He nurses so great and it's been an amazing experience. I love the feeling of being close to him. I of course pump and have a good supply up for when I am at school. I know it's not going to be easy, but we are doing this. I just keep saying that I am one day farther then I was with Ginny. I have to say though my journey was not easy but I did it and still doing it. Kendra

Growing Closer to Heavenly Father

Hey, I have struggled with the gospel for a long time. I think it's been hard for me because i have a hard time fitting in with others at church every since I was a little girl I have felt like an outcast. I have tried to fit in many times growing up in the wards that I have been in. It's just women my age group and I really don't talk. It makes it hard for myself to feel the love and acceptance from the church. At times it's even hard to just get to church with a smile on my face. Anyways, so I have tried really hard to feel the love. I am working on it and getting to church more which is nice. As a family we go over to someone's house each Sunday for dinner. I have even taken up reading my scpritures again and putting my faith that Heavenly Father will make me feel included. I am also starting to talk more during the sunday school lessons to put my thoughts in. It's going to be hard road, but I am going to do it. Because it will keep me going to church...I just have to get there. Kendra

Twinkies Are Back

Hey, So, we live in a town where one of the factories of hostess is. Our town too it hard when they shut down back in November, so when we found out they someone bought it we were overjoyed. So many people lost jobs back in November and being a student teacher I saw some of the results in the schools. So, we were selected to be in production again. On Monday, twinkies were hitting the shelves all over the United States our town decided to have a Twinkie festival. Of course we had to be there to cheer it on. When we arrived we realized there was a ton of people there. We hopped in line to find out that we were going to be signing a welcome back and we received a fresh twinkie in the process.

We also recieved free medium size Freddy's frozen custard. They had a limo there and Ginny was able to get inside it.

We also got to see the inside of a firetruck.

We had a lot of fun and hopes that next year it will even be better. Kendra

Ginny's Swim Lessons

Hey, So Ginny just finished her swim lessons for the season. She really enjoyed it the last week as the water was warmer. She would throw a huge fit when she had to get out of the pool. It's amazing how much she is growing as a swimmer. Yes, Stephen or myself had to be in the water with her for these lessons but she was doing great. She can climb out of the pool by herself. Next year she will be in a class by herself and Miles will be taking lessons as well.

Kendra

Miles Doctor Update

Hey, So Miles went to the specialist to check his GI tract because of his lovely yellow coloring. We found out that it could be two different things. The first one is that Miles liver is not working 100% yet and because he's not going number two a lot his body keeps absorbing the bili rubin over and over hint why his coloring gets better then gets worse. So he is on mirlax to see if that helps his coloring and his liver get to 100%. The other theory is that it's something to do with his gentics which means all our kids might have this problem in the future. But all in all his levels are not dangerous...so it's just a watch and see kind of thing. Kendra