Hey,
So since I started writing everyday in here there isn't much to say really. So you are more going to hear a lot of random thoughts that go through my mind then what i am up to. Anyways lately though I have been on Stephen's cool laptop. His works so much easier then my own that I find when he is busy at work I am usually doing stuff on it. Even if it's just playing minsweeper. But I also listen to music quite a lot when I am working on something or just playing a game. I have started to listen to Stephen's itunes and I realized that we have completely different taste in music. Some of his music I am still trying to figure out some of his music. But I am starting to get a taste for them which is funny anyways. As Stephen and I started to date I started to make cds of music we both like for the reason that we can listen to it in the car. Over time we found more music we like and we often listen to them in the car together. We slowly get to a middle ground with music. But what's nice is now that we are grown up we both don't like a certain kind of music. I started only liking country and then went off to college and my music just opened up into a whole different place. So it's interesting to say the least.
Kk
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Arthritis
Hey,
Not many people that I know really understand arthritis unless they have it. I have friends who still don't believe that I have arthritis because they don't want to think of someone our age could have it. When in reality kids as young as an infant could have arthritis. It's amazing that you don't hear about kids having it but you hear about adults and the elderly having it. You don't hear the kids talk about the many pain pills they take on the commercials. How different they feel when they can't run or play the games that others there age do. How there classmates think they are faking it and are just plain lazy. How hard it is to wake up in the morning knowing that you will have notes to write and ur hands will be killing you near the end of the school day. To just have to do it tomorrow. No one sees how hard it is to get up in the morning knowing that the day at school is going to be hard because of the weather outside. No one notices it and no one thinks of it. Because it's not so easy to notice that a child has arthritis as it is to a kid having another disease like cancer or even diabetes.
I grew up with arthritis. For some odd reason Heavenly Father thought I should have this disease and give me this challenge to overcome. Every day since I was little I struggle to be normal and fight against my joints. The medicine is not really designed for children to take so you have a greater risk of the side effects. Like losing bone denisity, damage to the liver, damage to the heart, overweight, and not even be able to have children. How can people explain to a cute little two year old that she needs to make the option of having children in the future or living with the pain. No one could. I am lucky enough to be ten when I found out about having arthritis. Because I got the option and I flately told my parents no. I am still able to have children and you know what I wouldn't want it any other way. I want to be able to hold my own child in my body and to know that when nine months later happens I'll have a child that I have bonded with.
Kk
Not many people that I know really understand arthritis unless they have it. I have friends who still don't believe that I have arthritis because they don't want to think of someone our age could have it. When in reality kids as young as an infant could have arthritis. It's amazing that you don't hear about kids having it but you hear about adults and the elderly having it. You don't hear the kids talk about the many pain pills they take on the commercials. How different they feel when they can't run or play the games that others there age do. How there classmates think they are faking it and are just plain lazy. How hard it is to wake up in the morning knowing that you will have notes to write and ur hands will be killing you near the end of the school day. To just have to do it tomorrow. No one sees how hard it is to get up in the morning knowing that the day at school is going to be hard because of the weather outside. No one notices it and no one thinks of it. Because it's not so easy to notice that a child has arthritis as it is to a kid having another disease like cancer or even diabetes.
I grew up with arthritis. For some odd reason Heavenly Father thought I should have this disease and give me this challenge to overcome. Every day since I was little I struggle to be normal and fight against my joints. The medicine is not really designed for children to take so you have a greater risk of the side effects. Like losing bone denisity, damage to the liver, damage to the heart, overweight, and not even be able to have children. How can people explain to a cute little two year old that she needs to make the option of having children in the future or living with the pain. No one could. I am lucky enough to be ten when I found out about having arthritis. Because I got the option and I flately told my parents no. I am still able to have children and you know what I wouldn't want it any other way. I want to be able to hold my own child in my body and to know that when nine months later happens I'll have a child that I have bonded with.
Kk
Monday, July 27, 2009
Breakdown to Babysitting
Hey,
So last week on Friday I had a mental breakdown. Because on Wednesday and Thursday we finished moving out stuff over to Stephen's parents house and out of the rental house. We offically slept in the house on Thursday night and Stephen left for work the following morning. As I was slowly unpacking our room trying to find places to put our stuff I realized that this room doesn't have any of my personality in it. It didn't feel like I actually was going to be living in this room. Which slowly had me crying and litterally feeling out of place in the whole family. The whole family likes me and I do fit in but it's not what i grew up to be apart of. For most of my days at home it was just me and my parents then it was just me and my mom. Since my siblings are seven, eight, and nine years older then I am. So I didn't know what it meant to have a lot of family in the house. But in truth, I didn't know where I fit into the whole family at all or even my room. Everything just started to get worse and I didn't know what to do or anything. i realized that I mostly stay up in Stephen's and My room while he is at work only leaving to go to the bathroom. Because I feel like I was walking in on their own time and I don't fit.
Anyways, I called my two sisters. One didn't answer her phone so I called the other crying and just upset. I realized that my sister livid with her in-laws while her son was just a baby years ago. I talked to her about what I was feeling and she said that it was normal. I most likely won't get a break out of it. But to create a place for my stuff somewhere. I finally talked to Stephen about what I was feeling and slowly we started to make the room our room. We hung up pictures and hooks. We also brought in my dresser and my desk from my bedroom at my mom's house. Slowly this room is starting to feel like my room.
On Saturday, Stephen and I were asked to watch Mike and Elyse's kids for overnight as it was the anniversery. It was a lot of fun. We played wii and then Stephen went and got some pizza for us and the kids. Then we went to the park and played until seven. The kids went to bed at seven thirty and we stayed up and watched movies together. It was nice. On Sunday at six fourty five I realized that the boys might not realize to come wake us up. So I went to open the door to the bedroom and heard little noise down in the living room. Sure enough both of the boys were just chilling in the dark on the couch. They were just sitting there talking to each other not doing really much of anything. It was interesting. But all in all Stephen and I had fun watching the kids.
On Sunday we went to my mom's and had dinner with her. We just relaxed together and watched Ace of Cakes and America's Funniest Videos together. So it was a lot of fun and the food was greet.
Kk
So last week on Friday I had a mental breakdown. Because on Wednesday and Thursday we finished moving out stuff over to Stephen's parents house and out of the rental house. We offically slept in the house on Thursday night and Stephen left for work the following morning. As I was slowly unpacking our room trying to find places to put our stuff I realized that this room doesn't have any of my personality in it. It didn't feel like I actually was going to be living in this room. Which slowly had me crying and litterally feeling out of place in the whole family. The whole family likes me and I do fit in but it's not what i grew up to be apart of. For most of my days at home it was just me and my parents then it was just me and my mom. Since my siblings are seven, eight, and nine years older then I am. So I didn't know what it meant to have a lot of family in the house. But in truth, I didn't know where I fit into the whole family at all or even my room. Everything just started to get worse and I didn't know what to do or anything. i realized that I mostly stay up in Stephen's and My room while he is at work only leaving to go to the bathroom. Because I feel like I was walking in on their own time and I don't fit.
Anyways, I called my two sisters. One didn't answer her phone so I called the other crying and just upset. I realized that my sister livid with her in-laws while her son was just a baby years ago. I talked to her about what I was feeling and she said that it was normal. I most likely won't get a break out of it. But to create a place for my stuff somewhere. I finally talked to Stephen about what I was feeling and slowly we started to make the room our room. We hung up pictures and hooks. We also brought in my dresser and my desk from my bedroom at my mom's house. Slowly this room is starting to feel like my room.
On Saturday, Stephen and I were asked to watch Mike and Elyse's kids for overnight as it was the anniversery. It was a lot of fun. We played wii and then Stephen went and got some pizza for us and the kids. Then we went to the park and played until seven. The kids went to bed at seven thirty and we stayed up and watched movies together. It was nice. On Sunday at six fourty five I realized that the boys might not realize to come wake us up. So I went to open the door to the bedroom and heard little noise down in the living room. Sure enough both of the boys were just chilling in the dark on the couch. They were just sitting there talking to each other not doing really much of anything. It was interesting. But all in all Stephen and I had fun watching the kids.
On Sunday we went to my mom's and had dinner with her. We just relaxed together and watched Ace of Cakes and America's Funniest Videos together. So it was a lot of fun and the food was greet.
Kk
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Weight
Hey,
So last night, we were just relaxing. I cuddled with Stephen as much as I could because when I am tired I just want to cuddle and be comfortable. We watched tv together just cuddling then went upstairs. I love how we can be in the same room and yet be doing different things. I was reading a novel and he was playing a game on his laptop. But we were both comfortable until we finally went to sleep.
The main reason I am writing this blog today is because I want to list my reason for wanting to lose weight. I have always felt the need to lose weight because I never wanted to be the fat girl of the class. Have people see me fat rather then beautiful and sexy. When people look at me they don't see my personality they see a fat chick. But I really started wanting to lose weight for myself because the fact that it's distorying my joints worse then my RA is something that no one can fix. It's causing me to be more in pain then not to be in pain and for me who doesn't take medicine for RA it's something that can cause me to run fevers and miss classes. I can't have that anymore and I want to have my joints not some metal pretending to be my joints. Another thing if the way I am going in being healthy then I won't cost a lot of heartaches and medical problems. I won't have to spend thousands of dollars on keeping my body. But also I want to be walking and running with my own children. I don't want to have the risk of having a premature baby when the time comes. I want to have healthy babies and I want to be able to enjoy them as they grow. I want to be able to walk along side Stephen for the rest of my life not be pushed in a wheelchair. That's why I want to lose weight.
Kk
222 2/75 pounds
So last night, we were just relaxing. I cuddled with Stephen as much as I could because when I am tired I just want to cuddle and be comfortable. We watched tv together just cuddling then went upstairs. I love how we can be in the same room and yet be doing different things. I was reading a novel and he was playing a game on his laptop. But we were both comfortable until we finally went to sleep.
The main reason I am writing this blog today is because I want to list my reason for wanting to lose weight. I have always felt the need to lose weight because I never wanted to be the fat girl of the class. Have people see me fat rather then beautiful and sexy. When people look at me they don't see my personality they see a fat chick. But I really started wanting to lose weight for myself because the fact that it's distorying my joints worse then my RA is something that no one can fix. It's causing me to be more in pain then not to be in pain and for me who doesn't take medicine for RA it's something that can cause me to run fevers and miss classes. I can't have that anymore and I want to have my joints not some metal pretending to be my joints. Another thing if the way I am going in being healthy then I won't cost a lot of heartaches and medical problems. I won't have to spend thousands of dollars on keeping my body. But also I want to be walking and running with my own children. I don't want to have the risk of having a premature baby when the time comes. I want to have healthy babies and I want to be able to enjoy them as they grow. I want to be able to walk along side Stephen for the rest of my life not be pushed in a wheelchair. That's why I want to lose weight.
Kk
222 2/75 pounds
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Beginning of the Week
Hey,
So right at this moment I am chilling out with my brother-in-law Charlie. Stephen started back to work this week and it's been pretty weird without him around the house. On Sunday, we went to church in my mom's ward for the final time before my church records were transfered to Stephen's ward. Then we headed to his house for a little time alone while his family was at church. I am finding out that you don't get much time alone when you live with family. Then we headed to my mom's for dinner and games. We played Mario 8 with her and had a blast playing and just enjoying the time together. Finally, we had to head back to our place to get some sleep since Stephen had to be on the road to work by seven twenty.
On Monday, I got up at seven with Stephen and we had breakfast together before he left to work. I knew the rest of the family was going to work on the house but I stayed at the rental house to clean the room and look for books for school (which I am dreading). Then I hung out with Stephen's mom looking at all the free samples you can get online. We got a lot of free samples.
Today, Stephen left after breakfast and headed to work while I hung out with Charlie and Scotty (my brother-in-laws)We played some wii and talked it was nice to just hang out. Even though Scotty creamed us in the game of Mario 8. Then I excersed on the wii fit.
That's another thing. Stephen and I want to lose weight so we are trying hard to get it in. We started going on walks when he gets off work and talk. It's our alone time and a way for him to just relax. Also we decided that if we want soda we have to also get the same amount in water and to drink both hopefully it will work. I found out today that I have exactly seventy-five pounds to lose or more by my first year anniversery. Hopefully I can do it.
Kk
225 Pounds 0/75 to go.
So right at this moment I am chilling out with my brother-in-law Charlie. Stephen started back to work this week and it's been pretty weird without him around the house. On Sunday, we went to church in my mom's ward for the final time before my church records were transfered to Stephen's ward. Then we headed to his house for a little time alone while his family was at church. I am finding out that you don't get much time alone when you live with family. Then we headed to my mom's for dinner and games. We played Mario 8 with her and had a blast playing and just enjoying the time together. Finally, we had to head back to our place to get some sleep since Stephen had to be on the road to work by seven twenty.
On Monday, I got up at seven with Stephen and we had breakfast together before he left to work. I knew the rest of the family was going to work on the house but I stayed at the rental house to clean the room and look for books for school (which I am dreading). Then I hung out with Stephen's mom looking at all the free samples you can get online. We got a lot of free samples.
Today, Stephen left after breakfast and headed to work while I hung out with Charlie and Scotty (my brother-in-laws)We played some wii and talked it was nice to just hang out. Even though Scotty creamed us in the game of Mario 8. Then I excersed on the wii fit.
That's another thing. Stephen and I want to lose weight so we are trying hard to get it in. We started going on walks when he gets off work and talk. It's our alone time and a way for him to just relax. Also we decided that if we want soda we have to also get the same amount in water and to drink both hopefully it will work. I found out today that I have exactly seventy-five pounds to lose or more by my first year anniversery. Hopefully I can do it.
Kk
225 Pounds 0/75 to go.
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