Hey,
So things here at going good. Lately I have been on edge with everything. More like trying not to talk about leaving Sunday. Because everytime that I do talk about it I start crying. Yesterday was my sister-in-law Johanna's birthday. She turned eighteen years old and her lovely boyfriend Karl asked Stephen if he could get her out of the house yesterday. Well he couldn't as he was at work. But I made a call to my friend Sarah and explained to her why. So she took Johanna and me to Sheridans to get frozen custard. We had a nice bonding time the three of us girls. Then she was pleasently surpised by her new bedding set on her bed. I am slowly getting used to having several people in the house and where everything is and how to get stuff done. I have started to make the bed in Stephen and my's room because I did that in my dorm almost every morning. Stephen claimed that he will miss having the bed made when he comes home from work. So I felt like that's something that will most likely contunie while we are married. I am getting used to the fact that I have three younger siblings even though they are my half. Scotty, Johanna, and Charlie. Charlie is fourteen years old and at times acts younger. He likes to surpise you by jumping out of hidden places and likes to just scare you and get on your nerves. Like yesterday I was hit several times by the nerve darts coming out a nerf gun as I watched the movie Twlight. Though today was his first day of school and I have to say it was awful quiet in the house.
Today I worked on setting up a schedule for myself for school. Had to stop midway through it because I was crying. I feel like I am over reacting but I really don't want to go. So far none of my friends are understanding how I feel because they never had to go through it. None of them are married and having to live apart. It will be hard but I know we can get through it. Also I made lunch for Stephen who came home from work for lunch. He and I are trying to spend a lot of time together. Well I believe that's it. Oh tomorrow, I am going with Johanna to get her nails done. Stephen and I are paying for them to get done as her birthday present. Plus it will be another bonding experience for the two of us. Also tomorrow going to get some school supplies hopefully I won't be a wreck. Until another time.
Kk
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Sleep
Hey,
So it's five in the morning as I start this blog. Why am I a college student who doesn't work up at five o'clock because my body thought it was time for me to wake up at four o'clock this morning. I woke up because I was hot and my knee was slipping out of the socket which isn't always the pleasant way to wake up in the morning. But right now I am on Stephen's computer while he sleeps next to me. It's a great feeling to have the person you love sleeping next to you. How serene they are and how the fact that every little movement you make they make so that they are up against you. As I am sitting here typing away Stephen is sound asleep and while he sleeps I try to think of everything possible thing he is dreaming. It's interesting and relaxing.
It's nice to know that it didn't take us long to get used to sharing the bed with the other person. How easy it was to just scoot over to one side of the bed and give the other person room. How your body reacts when it's sleeping next to the other person. Sure you have your moments when one hits the other but that's all the fun in it. Knowing that I am about to go to school it's hard. Because I will be sleeping alone in my bed. I try to think of ways that I know will happen. Will I cuddle up and sleep more to one side for awhile. Will it be hard to fall asleep without listening to the other person go into a deep slumber. It will be interesting and it will be hard. I know that come weekends I will be excited to be sleeping next to him once again. Because I love those moments when we are cuddled right before we drift slowly off to sleep or how sometimes we talk for a little while while we are cuddled. Those are the things that I am going to miss more then ever.
Kk
So it's five in the morning as I start this blog. Why am I a college student who doesn't work up at five o'clock because my body thought it was time for me to wake up at four o'clock this morning. I woke up because I was hot and my knee was slipping out of the socket which isn't always the pleasant way to wake up in the morning. But right now I am on Stephen's computer while he sleeps next to me. It's a great feeling to have the person you love sleeping next to you. How serene they are and how the fact that every little movement you make they make so that they are up against you. As I am sitting here typing away Stephen is sound asleep and while he sleeps I try to think of everything possible thing he is dreaming. It's interesting and relaxing.
It's nice to know that it didn't take us long to get used to sharing the bed with the other person. How easy it was to just scoot over to one side of the bed and give the other person room. How your body reacts when it's sleeping next to the other person. Sure you have your moments when one hits the other but that's all the fun in it. Knowing that I am about to go to school it's hard. Because I will be sleeping alone in my bed. I try to think of ways that I know will happen. Will I cuddle up and sleep more to one side for awhile. Will it be hard to fall asleep without listening to the other person go into a deep slumber. It will be interesting and it will be hard. I know that come weekends I will be excited to be sleeping next to him once again. Because I love those moments when we are cuddled right before we drift slowly off to sleep or how sometimes we talk for a little while while we are cuddled. Those are the things that I am going to miss more then ever.
Kk
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sunday :(
Hey,
So we are back to living under his parents roof. I can't believe a month ago I just woke up after my first night on the honeymoon. Can it really been a month that I no longer could think about myself without considering someone else. It's been a great month. I have learned so much being married and yet I still have a lot to learn from. I love that when I am upset that I have him to calm me down or just hold me until I calm down. He wipes away my tears on my face and says that he loves me. It's enough to make me slowly forget what's bothering me for a little time. But on Sunday I must leave this and go back to the lonely cold dorm room for a little while. I am trying not to think of the time that I will say goodbye to my husband. To just be apart from him is what scares me the most. It's going to be so hard to watch other people kiss their girlfriends or boyfriends before they head to class. It's going to be hard to see some of my friends make out with their others and know that I have to wait till Friday night to see mine. To just be able to feel the warmth of his arms around me and to just listen to him talk. To just cuddle up against him knowing that everything is alright in the world. I am going to miss that during the school days when I am about to tear out my hair from the stress of a homework or just crying in my room because I just can't take it anymore. I am not going to have that. Come by seven o'clock or so on Friday nights I will be in his arms trying to keep a hold of that warmth that smell that I love. To just be near him. But come Monday morning saying goodbye as he walks out the door early and leaving to go back to town for work. It's hard and I am going to try my best to get into a program that is thirty min from our place and know that I am living with him.
Because right now sitting here in this room while he is at work I feel like I am a failer of a wife. That I am leaving my love to go do better things but in reality I don't want to go to class to accomplish my dreams. I want to be in his arms wanting him to accomplish his dreams. He is putting his dreams on hold for what me to finish school and struggle to even get a job. I wish that life was easier then it is. It will be difficult no matter what. I just hope that in the end it will be all worth it.
Until later.
Kk
So we are back to living under his parents roof. I can't believe a month ago I just woke up after my first night on the honeymoon. Can it really been a month that I no longer could think about myself without considering someone else. It's been a great month. I have learned so much being married and yet I still have a lot to learn from. I love that when I am upset that I have him to calm me down or just hold me until I calm down. He wipes away my tears on my face and says that he loves me. It's enough to make me slowly forget what's bothering me for a little time. But on Sunday I must leave this and go back to the lonely cold dorm room for a little while. I am trying not to think of the time that I will say goodbye to my husband. To just be apart from him is what scares me the most. It's going to be so hard to watch other people kiss their girlfriends or boyfriends before they head to class. It's going to be hard to see some of my friends make out with their others and know that I have to wait till Friday night to see mine. To just be able to feel the warmth of his arms around me and to just listen to him talk. To just cuddle up against him knowing that everything is alright in the world. I am going to miss that during the school days when I am about to tear out my hair from the stress of a homework or just crying in my room because I just can't take it anymore. I am not going to have that. Come by seven o'clock or so on Friday nights I will be in his arms trying to keep a hold of that warmth that smell that I love. To just be near him. But come Monday morning saying goodbye as he walks out the door early and leaving to go back to town for work. It's hard and I am going to try my best to get into a program that is thirty min from our place and know that I am living with him.
Because right now sitting here in this room while he is at work I feel like I am a failer of a wife. That I am leaving my love to go do better things but in reality I don't want to go to class to accomplish my dreams. I want to be in his arms wanting him to accomplish his dreams. He is putting his dreams on hold for what me to finish school and struggle to even get a job. I wish that life was easier then it is. It will be difficult no matter what. I just hope that in the end it will be all worth it.
Until later.
Kk
Monday, August 10, 2009
Pets
Hey,
So today it's getting closer to the time where I will say goodbye to my loved ones and head back to school. It's a scary thought to have to be leaving when I don't want to leave the ones that I love so much. Since we have been helping other families in the ward it's been that Stephen and I have barely stayed at his parents house. We stayed at the rental house for a week then moved to the other house. Then that weekend we babysat for a night for Mike and Elyse while they went and stayed at a bed and breakfast for their anniversery. Then the last week of July we went to another house and house sit for another family in the ward and dog sit their dog named luke. We have been here since July 29th and tomorrow is our last day. It's been nice taking care of a house. I am actually very much enjoying being with Stephen in a big house and playing house. I can't wait till we actually get a place on our own and our styles and personality will come out in the decoration of the rooms. Though it's been hard as well, since we are taking care of a dog he not used to having his owners not around so he tends to do the number two somewhere in the house. Of course near the end we have less of that problem as we did in the beginning. I have always wanted another dog for when I have my own family. I want my own kids to have the same experience that I have had when I was younger. Stephen though never wants a dog but a cat. He's a cat person and I am a dog person. He though said we could get a dog till now. Now he doesn't want a dog because of the trouble we have had with Mr. Luke.
The dogs that I remember is the three beautiful dogs that my family had when I was pretty old. My favorite was my pomeranian. I named her Tiffany and I was about four or so when I got her. She was in the same litter as one of my dad's nieces puppy was in. She and I would fall asleep anywhere together. She was one of the best dogs. We took her to Germany when we went and she ended up being bitten twice by a chow. But she always thought of herself bigger then she was ever. She passed away with a heart attack while chasing a squirrell in the back yard. She passed away when I was in junior high and I was very upset.
My dad got a black lab mix with something else. I named her Dakota. She was a very sweet chubby dog and I loved her as I grew up. It was sad when my parents divoriced because I never saw her again.
I went with my dad to go to Marysville to his Aunt's house to pick out a full black lab puppy for my Uncle Fred. We got there and I picked out a little shy puppy who was hiding under a car. All the way home I fell in love with that sweet little puppy. When my Uncle came and picked her up to take her to his place I cried and cried. My little heart was heart broken to the fact that I couldn't keep her. Two hours or so I woke up after falling asleep crying to my face being licked by the puppy. I find out later that she was scared of my Uncle and it wouldn't work out between them. So I was able to keep her and I named her Midnight. She was one skittish dog but I loved her and she was one great dog. She was the other one that I didn't see after the divorce and I later find out that my dog got rid of her and Dakota to the pound. I was upset that the two dogs that I fell in love with were gone.
I really want a dog to enjoy life with. I love dogs more then ever. As I am house sitting I have gotten slightly attactched to the trouble maker of Luke. He cuddles up against me while Stephen is gone and never leaves my side. I don't really care if the dog is big or small I just want that companionship with a dog more then ever. Hopefully I will convince Stephen to let me enjoy that again. Maybe...
Kk
So today it's getting closer to the time where I will say goodbye to my loved ones and head back to school. It's a scary thought to have to be leaving when I don't want to leave the ones that I love so much. Since we have been helping other families in the ward it's been that Stephen and I have barely stayed at his parents house. We stayed at the rental house for a week then moved to the other house. Then that weekend we babysat for a night for Mike and Elyse while they went and stayed at a bed and breakfast for their anniversery. Then the last week of July we went to another house and house sit for another family in the ward and dog sit their dog named luke. We have been here since July 29th and tomorrow is our last day. It's been nice taking care of a house. I am actually very much enjoying being with Stephen in a big house and playing house. I can't wait till we actually get a place on our own and our styles and personality will come out in the decoration of the rooms. Though it's been hard as well, since we are taking care of a dog he not used to having his owners not around so he tends to do the number two somewhere in the house. Of course near the end we have less of that problem as we did in the beginning. I have always wanted another dog for when I have my own family. I want my own kids to have the same experience that I have had when I was younger. Stephen though never wants a dog but a cat. He's a cat person and I am a dog person. He though said we could get a dog till now. Now he doesn't want a dog because of the trouble we have had with Mr. Luke.
The dogs that I remember is the three beautiful dogs that my family had when I was pretty old. My favorite was my pomeranian. I named her Tiffany and I was about four or so when I got her. She was in the same litter as one of my dad's nieces puppy was in. She and I would fall asleep anywhere together. She was one of the best dogs. We took her to Germany when we went and she ended up being bitten twice by a chow. But she always thought of herself bigger then she was ever. She passed away with a heart attack while chasing a squirrell in the back yard. She passed away when I was in junior high and I was very upset.
My dad got a black lab mix with something else. I named her Dakota. She was a very sweet chubby dog and I loved her as I grew up. It was sad when my parents divoriced because I never saw her again.
I went with my dad to go to Marysville to his Aunt's house to pick out a full black lab puppy for my Uncle Fred. We got there and I picked out a little shy puppy who was hiding under a car. All the way home I fell in love with that sweet little puppy. When my Uncle came and picked her up to take her to his place I cried and cried. My little heart was heart broken to the fact that I couldn't keep her. Two hours or so I woke up after falling asleep crying to my face being licked by the puppy. I find out later that she was scared of my Uncle and it wouldn't work out between them. So I was able to keep her and I named her Midnight. She was one skittish dog but I loved her and she was one great dog. She was the other one that I didn't see after the divorce and I later find out that my dog got rid of her and Dakota to the pound. I was upset that the two dogs that I fell in love with were gone.
I really want a dog to enjoy life with. I love dogs more then ever. As I am house sitting I have gotten slightly attactched to the trouble maker of Luke. He cuddles up against me while Stephen is gone and never leaves my side. I don't really care if the dog is big or small I just want that companionship with a dog more then ever. Hopefully I will convince Stephen to let me enjoy that again. Maybe...
Kk
Thursday, August 6, 2009
School :(
Hey,
So Stephen and I were talking yesterday and it dawned on the two of us that we have ten days till I have to go back to school. How can i leave my home, my husband to go live in a dorm for most of the year. I feel like one of those horrible wives who don't live at home but always on the go to make something of herself and not be there for the ones who need her like her husband. Sure Stephen understands why I have to go to school. i told him i rather not go but he said he will make sure that I do go. It's so hard to do this. We really only had/have a little over a month to feel the sure effects of marriage. Most of that was litterally moving and packing and moving and unpacking. Now that it's time to say goodbye is going to be tearful. Last night as we were talking about it I tried my best not to cry. I don't want to think about leaving because I would be leaving home. It's weird how much I have changed. When I went to school my first year i was scared to death about how i was going to make friends and everything. My second year i couldn't wait to go to college to be with my friends and just enjoy life away from my mom and away from several people. My third year I started to be my own person living on my own though still in the dorms. But having my own room and realizing how much I have grown. Now going back for my fourth year I have realized all the mistakes that I have made pervious years. Some years I slacked off in class when I should have studied more and been more into my studies rather then in my friends. Because this year should have been my last year of college when in reality I have two more years or so before I graduate. This time I am dreading to go to school like no other. Going to school is no longer my home my place. Because my place is where ever Stephen is and that is here. On the sixteenth I am going to be in a crying wreck because i shouldn't be going to school I should be with him. I hate this feeling. I am going to be living in a dorm that has no life and no joy. It's going to be one difficult road to get down but we can do it.
Kk
225lb
So Stephen and I were talking yesterday and it dawned on the two of us that we have ten days till I have to go back to school. How can i leave my home, my husband to go live in a dorm for most of the year. I feel like one of those horrible wives who don't live at home but always on the go to make something of herself and not be there for the ones who need her like her husband. Sure Stephen understands why I have to go to school. i told him i rather not go but he said he will make sure that I do go. It's so hard to do this. We really only had/have a little over a month to feel the sure effects of marriage. Most of that was litterally moving and packing and moving and unpacking. Now that it's time to say goodbye is going to be tearful. Last night as we were talking about it I tried my best not to cry. I don't want to think about leaving because I would be leaving home. It's weird how much I have changed. When I went to school my first year i was scared to death about how i was going to make friends and everything. My second year i couldn't wait to go to college to be with my friends and just enjoy life away from my mom and away from several people. My third year I started to be my own person living on my own though still in the dorms. But having my own room and realizing how much I have grown. Now going back for my fourth year I have realized all the mistakes that I have made pervious years. Some years I slacked off in class when I should have studied more and been more into my studies rather then in my friends. Because this year should have been my last year of college when in reality I have two more years or so before I graduate. This time I am dreading to go to school like no other. Going to school is no longer my home my place. Because my place is where ever Stephen is and that is here. On the sixteenth I am going to be in a crying wreck because i shouldn't be going to school I should be with him. I hate this feeling. I am going to be living in a dorm that has no life and no joy. It's going to be one difficult road to get down but we can do it.
Kk
225lb
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