Our Life On Paper

Family Time

2012-01-30T08:56:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So we decided it was time to head up to Olathe, Kansas to celebrate our niece Addie's first birthday. I can't believe that she is turning a year old already. I remember when I got the text on my phone saying that Natalie was in labor. Then recieving a text saying that Addie was born. Who am I kidding, I remember recieving text messages saying that Natalie was pregnant then myself finding out that I was pregnant a month later. It's been nice to have a sister-in-law who was pregnant with a little girl at the same time as myself. I was really lucky to have not just one but two sister-in-laws pregnant at the same time. My first niece was born in October and then it was Addie in February. Then Ginny came in Apirl. It's been fun to have the girls so close in age. Ginny is still not so sure about her cousins especially Addie as we see her more.
Anyways, so we rushed up to Olathe to go to Addie's birthday party and say goodbye to Jimmy for awhile. Addie was actually pretty good at going over her giant cupcake. Ginny, loved eating her mini cupcake that I let her have. It was nice to talk to family and watch the girls simi interact with each other. Addie kept taking Ginny's toy and running away and Ginny would look at me. I was so tempted to say to Addie, just you wait Addie. Ginny will be walking soon and would be going after her toys.
We didn't stay very long up in Olathe but it was a nice break from here. Oh did I mention that Ginny is crawling offical now. Also she is now pulling herself on things so nothing is safe. Not even the cork of the coasters. It resulted in a Poison control call.

Kk
By the way...cork is not toxic.

Graduating Soon in May 2013

2012-01-27T20:17:00.001-08:00

Hey,
So it's pretty much offical now that I will be graduating in a year. That is if I pass my classes and my huge test to get my teaching license. But, we are going to think positive and say that I will graduate in May 2013. So you better keep your calender's free then. I can say it's so exciting to be able to see the end is that near. I am super excited.
Anyways, classes are going really well. I am really enjoying my block 1 classes. I love two of the three teachers. I haven't really seen much of the other teacher to base my reaction off of her. But the two guys are really nice. Then we have my lovely, literature class that I am taking this semister on top of that. Can I say that I love it. It's a literature class just about young adult books. So far it's pretty easy class and the professor has a love for young adult books which helps by far. Also I have a few of my block 1 classmates in that class as well.
So, some things about the block 1 classes is that we get to teach lessons to kids. Also another would be that we are with the same classmates till we graduate pretty much. Which I finally opened up and meet a couple of them. Two of them know my sister-in-law. Actually they graduated with her. Which can I say is totally cool. Anyways, this coming Tuesday, I get to teach to preschool about rockets. My group is going to be super heros. I still need to come up with a name for myself. I'll have to ask my brother-in-laws.
It was such a relief on Wednesday to find out that I passed my cursive handwriting test. Last semister I had to appeal a board for the chance to stay in block 1 and finish the two test that I couldn't pass, which were Spelling and Cursive handwriting. On Tuesday, I took my spelling test for the eleventh time and finally passed. I swear I almost screamed for joy. Then Wednesday morning I found out that I also passed my cursive just under the wire. So I was finally able to feel like I was going to stay in block 1.
Well...I better get some sleep as I have a little girl who is teething and in a lot of pain.
Kk

My Late Night Thoughts

2011-12-14T22:10:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So I thought it would be hard when more of my friends get pregnant. It is hard because I loved being pregnant. I also love being a mom don't get me wrong. But it doesn't hurt as much as I thought. Stephen and I are planning for more children in the future. Sometime when I am done with college and perhaps finished my first year of teaching we will try again. But right now we are a wonderful family of three. A little known fact is before I got pregnant with the surpise of a lifetime. I knew that we were suppose to be parents while I was in school. We did everything we could to prevent it to happen. But we always said, that if I do get pregnant while in school then it was meant to be. Ginny was meant to be in our lives now.
I was so lucky to have such a wonderful pregnancy. I didn't have morning sickness and never was dizzy. I was just super tired all the time. Which I often took care of with a nice long nap during the day. But it was a wonderful pregnancy. I found out on my brother's birthday August 29th, 2010. That I was pregnant and Stephen was the one who told me. On the twenty-fourth of December, we found out that I was right in the guessing that i was having a girl. Everyone thought it was going to be a boy. Stephen was able to feel her for the first time on Christmas eve. She kicked him in the face. Then on Apirl 7th, 2011, just short of being a month left till my due date. I went to a normal doctors appointment and found out that my blood pressure was extremely high and I had protein in my urine. My doctor then waited till it was near the end of the visit to check my blood pressure again. It went down but not enough that she wasn't worried. Oh, I was already at a 4cm. (all the walking I tell ya). We were sent to labor and delivery to be monitored. The doctor said that if my blood pressure didn't go down then we would deliver. If it went down while there then I would be sent home on bed rest. I knew there was an unlikely chance I would be making finals that semister. My mom came down that friday and took care of me on Saturday while my husband was at work. We bought a blood pressure cuff (which I recommend to anyone who is pregnant) to watch my blood pressure. I checked it every hour and wrote on a piece of paper my blood pressure and the time.
Then on Sunday, we noticed that my blood pressure was staying high. It was around lunch time and I was really wanting my favorite meal that my mom was making before I gave birth. I layed down because I was slightly dizzy while lunch was finished. I ate three huge helpings of the food (which I later decided was not good). Then we left for the hospital. I showed them my blood pressure and sure enough I had even more protein in my urine and blood pressure was worrisome.
They took blood and found out that my organs were being shut down because of an enzyme that comes out when you get preecampsya. My doctor which was on call that weekend said that it was time to have my daughter. I was so excited to have her natural way and everything. I was prepped. They started me with pitson. I had a ton of contractions that were quite large. I felt not one of them except a small tightness. At 8:00pm, the doctor came in and broke my water (which is by far the oddest thing ever) then things got a bit more relaxed. I was moving along really well and still was not feeling the contractions. Midnight came and that's when the contractions hit. They were nice and intense and I was sure that I was closer then I thought. I finally, decided to get the pain meds and it felt great.
At seven in the morning the doctor came in and said that it was time to do a c-section. I stalled at a six which was only two from when I started from. I cried and cried hearing that. I got prepped for surgery and went in. Stephen came with me. At 8:08am on April 11th, 2011. I had my beautiful little girl.
Do I regret the things I went through, no. My daughter is perfect. So for those who are pregnant now. Don't let things worry you. Don't have this perfect birthing experience in your mind, because it doesn't happen perfect. In the end it doesn't matter.
Kk

A Quick Post

2011-12-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

Hey,
I can't believe how quickly this semister has been going. It seems though that I am not smart person and have a chance on being forced to change my major. That is a whole bunch of fun. It really pains me to think that I might never be able to become an elementary teacher. Anyways, next week is finals week and it's a bit stressful. Our house has seen better days. But it will be cleaned and organized over winter break while Stephen is at work.
Ginny keeps me on my toes though she's still not crawling. I can't believe my baby is turning eight months in two days. I am just waiting for the moment where she suddenly takes off on the floor and me screaming in delight. She's a funny girl though. She sings a lot now and sometimes she will sing herself to sleep especially if we are in the car. It makes me laugh when she's singing away and then their is sudden silence.
Stephen's doing good. His job is a bit hectic since it's after thanksgiving but we make it work. At times he comes home very tired and just wants to relax. Things will be easier for him once the Christmas season is over.
Well, I better finish getting ready for school. I'll update more later and maybe have some pictures.
Kk

Update

2011-11-23T13:45:00.000-08:00

Hey,
I have a few moments to type this so I thought I should give a little bit of an update on our lives.
I am entering finals week with full speed. I have to pass a couple more tests to get into block one. So I need all the prayers that I can get at this point in time. But things are going well. School is going good, just stresses me out for awhile. But it's been going good. I do have two blogs that I try to keep up with but...right now schools important as well as Ginny.
Ginny is now seven months old and I am sure now over fifteen pounds. She loves to eat and is now starting eating meats. She has two teeth now both on the bottom. We only had two bad days of teething. But she's doing good. She does say, "Dada" and "Mama" but she doesn't direct it towards anything. At times we think she is saying Dada to Stephen but we are not sure. She really good at sitting up by herself and is getting the hang of standing holding on things. She still wobbling though. She's not crawling yet which I can't wait to see her do.
Stephen is still working hard at walmart. He's keeping busy with that and coming home to us.
That's it,
Kk

Having RA

2011-09-16T06:15:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I don't often talk about my arthritis because its not who I am and it does not run my life. But I need to right now. Things are bothering me. I feel like people don't realize how horrible arthritis is. Sure I don't talk about the pain that I have 24/7 but that doesn't mean its not there. I fight every day to be normal to act normal. To not show the pain that I am feeling. Like my husband has said many times. I have to remind myself that just because you don't show you are in pain doesn't mean that you are not. You have had twenty-four years of practice to cover the pain up.
I struggle working on my homework, writing notes for class. Walking to school is a struggle but I do it. Holding my daughter in my arms is a struggle. Most of the time I am trying not to cringe from the pain as I hold her. I dread the day when she walks because I won't be able to chase her like a normal mom. I will be proud of her as she takes that first step. But I will be sadden as it will be harder to keep her safe and sound. I struggle...a lot with these feelings.
Kk

Update On Our Lives

2011-09-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So, since it's Monday and I am just sitting here waiting for school I thought better update my blog. I am actually not sure if anyone takes the time to read my blog. If there is then great. Anyways, so let's update.
I am busy with school so it seems. Shakespear class we have just finished our second play. We are about to start Titus which I have read and I didn't enjoy it the first time. Though we are lucky enough to just watch it in movie form. So that is a relief to tell the truth. In my Relationship class we just had our first exam. I might find out how I did on it today in class. Though we had a huge dicussion on the case of the mom who put hot sauce on her sons mouth. Well according to the news is that she is Mormon so it brought up some issues with Mormons. Me being the only Mormon in class had no idea if I should speak up or keep quiet. When a girl mentioned that mormons are not allowed to use any methods of birth control and then another girl brought up that it's huge if you adopt if you are a Mormon. I had to raise my hand and fix some of the thoughts. The girl who mentioned the birth control told me that she was excommincated because she was on birth control. I had no idea what to say as I know that we can use birth control. As when Stephen and I got married the bishop talked to us about birth control. I talked to the missionaries that week as we had them over for dinner. They never heard of it as well. In Modern American Poetry we just finished reading Dickinson and Poe. On Wednesday, we will be starting to read Frost. It should be interesting to say the least. In Biology, we are learning about genes, we have our first exam on Wednesday. In Music class I am learning to use the recorder which is so very hard. I am also writing a song to sing tomorrow in class. That's it for class.
Ginny is getting big. She just turned five months old yesterday. She loves playing outside in her excersaucer. To tell the truth, she loves being outside period. She is teething but no teeth have yet poked out. She is rolling around and tries hard to crawl. I have a feeling we will be dealing with that soon. Though she is almost sitting up on her own now as well. She tripods which is very close on sitting up. She also loves eating my face. It's quite funny to watch her and I have a video of it.
Stephen is doing well. Working hard as well always to put me through school. He has been playing a video game lately to relax and enjoys spending time with his girls.

That's us,
Kk

Shredding the Excess: Fast Break Action Plans

2011-09-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

Reaffirm Your Focus
Unique: based on your own dreams and life experience
Concrete: exact and time-specific. Just give some flexibility with exact weight-loss goals
Inner-directed: based on your own unique and specific reasons
Harmonious: in tune with your deep beliefs
Realistic: challenging without being overwhelming.
Written: so that you can see what you're working towards
My goals: Divide the Goals into Three categories. Long term which is one year or more. Medium term usually one to three months, and short term is one month or less
Long Term:
Lose 50 pounds in a year. So that I can do charity walks with my mom.
Get down to 130lbs by March 9th, 2013.
Get to the point where I can start running by January 1st, 2013.
Medium Term:
Lose at least 15 lbs by three months.
Be able to eat within calorie range at least 5 out of 7 days within three two months.
Eat one vegetable and one fruit in a day for at least 5 out of 7 days within one month.
Short Term:
Drink 8 glasses of water 6 out of 7 days.
Get down to one 20oz thing of soda per day

Set up Shop
Make a vision college. Which is positive reminders of the goals. A way to stay motivated. Place it where you can see it when you feel discourage. Place it where you spend the most time.
Plan ahead.
Take a Before picture
Restock the kitchen. Do a full kitchen inspection. Replace unhealthy food with healthier alternatives.
Stock up on whole-grain bread, pasta, and crackers
Buy fresh fruits and veggies. Buy them already washed and cut up if you don't want to spend the time. Canned and frozen varieties are also nutritious and take less time.
Get rid of sugary sodas
Plenty of water, resuable water bottles for home, work, and car
Banish junk food with empty calories
Replace high fat with low fat
Pack nutritious and filling apples, bananas, and almonds and keep them in your office.
Stock healthy snacks at home
Pack a gym bag and keep it in the car
a pair of comfortable workout shoes
Establish a standard at-home exercise routine

Choose your rewards
Find ways to use regular rewards to boost your morale
Choose two rewards. First, select a small reward for completing all of your fast break goals. Second select a larger reward for making it through all four stages.
Fast Break Reward: Is Buy myself a kindle book
Four Stages Reward: Three kindle books

Learn about what you currently eat
Track Your food.
Once people begin tracking their food, they're often shocked to learn that they're eating the equivalent of 4,000 calories a day.
Others experience a sort of “perception gap” where they honestly believe they are drinking enough water or eating enough protein, only to learn after tracking that they really aren't.
Write in a journal or on sparkpeople what you eat. Wright down each time you eat or drink something. No matter how small
Write down what you ate, how much of it, and how many calories it contained.
Once you've logged your food for three days, it's time to take stock, to look back at your food log so that you can learn how, why, and when you eat.
Weight: 246.8 lbs

Things

2011-08-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So life is getting on a schedule with school going on. We are finally getting used to doing everything that we can. I go to school and Ginny goes to her sitters. On Mondays, she stays at her sitters till four when Stephen picks her up. During that time I am cleaning the house and getting ahead on my homework. It's the time that I spend getting things done that I normally can't get done because she's home and wanting my attention. Which I don't mind at all. Wednesdays and Fridays, I go to school, come home and call the sitter who brings her over. I then give Ginny a bottle and take a nap with her. Then Stephen comes home and we spend time as a family for awhile. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I spend time with Ginny and while she takes her naps I do homework that needs to be done or pick up.
Ginny is getting big. She is now rolling around so it's a big challenging in the fact that I can't prop her up on her bobby while i am doing homework right next to her. She is becoming more fun to play with and she giggles once and awhile. Nothing like an all out giggle fest. We are not starting foods till she's six months old. But we are really enjoying her as she grows.
Stephen is doing good. He got hurt at work awhile back. That he is slowly recovering from. So for awhile it's been hard for him to work then come home and help out. But we are making it work. We are both working on losing weight though so hopefully, things will go smoothly.
You will now start to see recipes on the blog. I am slowly starting to cook more. I am going to be making dinners in the crockpot on some nights and working on making a small cookbook that I can give out to family and friends. So, I'll post the recipes and what we think of them. So far I have made pot roast and pulled pork which both came out perfect. I have a few friends that will be coming over to try the meals each week. So we shall see.
Starting tomorrow, I'll show you in pictures what I do during the days. It's not much but it works for us. Oh also I have been learning how to drive. My friend Sam took me out to the dirt roads and let me drive her car around. I even came into town and drove around. Also drove on the highway for the first time. I am finally pushing myself to learn how. So we shall see how that is going.
Kk

Shedding the Excess: Planning Fast Break Day 1

2011-08-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

Hey,
For those who don't know Sparkpeople. Fast break is a week where it gives people a taste of success and a flicker of hope that this time they can succeed.
Six Action Steps for Fast Break
1. Set your Fast Break Goals
2. Plan Your SparkTime
3. Reaffirm your focus
4. Set up Shop
5. Choose your rewards
6. Learn about what you currently eat

Set Your Fast Break Goals
Track three small goals that might seem inconseqential. "The goals are designed to be simple that the only possible answer is "Of Course I can!"
My Fast Break Goals:
-Drink 8 cups of water each day
-Excercise for ten minutes for 5 out of 7 days
-Post on blog about weight loss 5 out of 7 days
Plan Your SparkTime
Have time for Plan and review, read and reflect, and exercise.
My schedule:
MWF
-4:30am: exercise 10min-30min
-5:00am: Feed Ginny
-6:00am: eat breakfast
Be done with 2 cups of water
-6:30am: Shower/dress
-7:00am: pack backpack
-7:30am: plan and review
-8:00am: read and reflect
-8:30am: leave for class
Be done with 2 cups of water
-9:00am: English class
-10:00am: Relationship, have a healthy snack
-11:00am: Poetry
-12:00pm: Biology
Be done with 2 cups of water
-1:00pm: go home
-1:30pm: Eat lunch
-2:00pm: Nap with Ginny on Wed. and Fri.
-2:00pm: Work on homework on Mondays
-4:00pm: Homework or Clean house
Be done with 2 cups of water
-5:00pm: Dinner
-6:00pm: Read a book
-7:00pm: Blog
-8:00pm: Relax
Be done with 2 cups of water
-8:30pm: Go to bed

Tuesdays and Thursdays
Tuesdays and Thursdays
5:00am: Feed Ginny
6:00am: Eat Breakfast
7:00am: Go for a walk with Ginny
Be done with 2 cups of water
8:00am: Nap
9:00am: Feed Ginny
11:00am: Lunch
12:00pm: Homework
Be done with 2 cups of water
1:00pm: Feed Ginny
2:00pm: Nap
4:00pm: Relax
8:30pm: Bed

Shedding the Excess Questions

2011-08-26T04:55:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So I admit that I am not starting till Sunday. Why am I waiting till Sunday to start working on losing weight because it's the start of the new week. Also I will offically be in the swing of thing with school and such by then. So, what am I doing to work on shedding the excess weight right now. I am working through my book. The book is called, "The Spark" it's by the founder of Sparkpeople.com which is a free weightloss website that I use. It's actually a pretty easy read about weight loss. I keep notes for myself through out it. So here they are...
What truly drives you?
My daughter, my husband, and my future
Is there a clash between what you really believe and what you're trying to accomplish?
At times there is because of the fact that I believe that I can eat and be who I want to be but I want to lose weight.
Are you working each day toward something that really matters to you?
Right now, yes. I have always wanted to become an elementary teacher and a stay at home mom. I want to finish school and become a teacher for awhile then become a stay at home mom and perhaps start up a preschool. So then I can home school my children.
What are your core values and beliefs?
I know there is a heavenly father who listens to my prayers. I also think that family is one of the most important thing in the world. Also that education is needed for everyone to be able to achieve the highest education that they want.
How can you turn those values and beliefs into a purpose in one or more of your life roles?
I can work hard in college to try and get the best grade that I can to become the best teacher I can. I can also spend time with my daughter and husband and try not to stress out so much. Which means that I have to feel good about my body so that I am less stress about things.
Visualize your purpose. How can you see it becoming a reality, based on where you are now?
I need to find time to work out and eat right so that I can be the best person there is. Also keep ahead in my studies so that I have time to spend time with my family.
Kk

Back to the School Grind

2011-08-19T02:42:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I can't believe that I have started school already. It seems like I just ended early because I had to have a baby. I haven't missed school in one bit. I thought I would by this time but I haven't. I loved spending time with my daughter and just cuddling with her. Singing songs to her and teaching her all different things. But, I must learn more things myself. I need to finish college so that I can proudly tell her to keep going when she gets to this point in her life. So, school is already becoming a huge stress factor. I am taking fifteen credits this semister because three of those credits didn't count for fasva. Curse having to take biology three times. So most of my classes are just filler classes. Things that I really don't have to take but am to fill up more credits.
Here's my schedule:
MWF
9:00-10:00: Shakespear Class
10:00-11:00: Reletionship Class
11:00-12:00: Modern American Poetry
12:00-1:00: Biology
Starting in October
2:00-4:00 only on Mondays: Diverse Class

Tuesday:
5:00-6:50: Music for Elementary Teacher
It's going to be a rough semister trying to learn how to juggle homework with raising my daughter. So far, it's not going so well..as I had over 100 pages to read in two days. Also Ginny, has been waking up once through the night and having a hard time going back to sleep. Like today she woke up at 2:00am and she is just in a light sleep in the swing as I type this at almost five o'clock in the morning. I did get a lot of homework done though in this period.

Kk

School is about to Start

2011-08-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So I have been out of school for a little over four months now and it's going to be so strange going back to school. But, no matter how much I love being home with Ginny and wanting to be a stay at home mom. I need to finish getting my degree so that my husband, Stephen, can go to school himself. Then perhaps, I will be able to stay home and raise my children. I am just glad that I had the whole summer with her to get to know her and her personality. I am hoping to finally go into Block 1 in the spring so then I will be closer on getting that degree.
Today, in Relief Society we had a lesson about eternital marriage. One of the sisters who was teaching was talking about some family stories that she had of her family. It makes me so excited to get sealed to Stephen as well as Ginny when the temple gets built. I can't wait to know that I will be with them for eternity. Before I became a mom I wasn't very religious. I went to church but that was pretty much it. Though, now I pray every night after I put Ginny to bed that she will make it through the night. That no harm will come to her.
Anyways, so I start school on Wednesday. I have classes only one Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Except one class at night on Tuesday. Anyways, we found a great sitter in our ward who Ginny already likes. It will be nice to know she is with someone that I can trust.

Kk

4 Months Old

2011-08-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So today Ginny turned four months old. I can't believe that by this time at night, I was crying my eyes out because I couldn't cuddle with my little girl who was in the nursery because of her condition. It was a long hard labor for me and it was even a long eleven days after. But we are finally adjusting to being parents. We can't be more happy with our little girl. It still amazes me that she is four months old.

So right now what does Ginny do. Right now she eats every four hours except at night four ozs. We are hoping to get the okay for eating cereal next week. We will also get to find how much she weighs.
Her bedtime is 8:30pm. If you don't have her ready for bed by then you get a screaming mess of a baby. She then will sleep all the way to six o'clock am. Wake up just to eat and new diaper. Also to say goodbye to her daddy as he leaves for work then back to sleep till ten.
She loves singing time with Mommy and playing in her toy.
Also, she loves standing and loves when her daddy says, "How you Doing?" or when mommy says, 'What do you want?"

Love her to death.
Kk

It's Monday

2011-08-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. It's been slow here and nothing really exciting to post about. I am sure things will get more exciting. But I thought I better give an update on my blog about things. So this summer has been relaxing and getting me in the swing of being a mother. Stephen's been working hard at Walmart and in hopes of getting a job at the DC which pays better. I am not looking forward to school starting in only a couple of weeks because I am enjoying spending time with my daughter home. Who is right now...playing with her toes her knew found passion.
Lately though, we have been relaxing at home. I am reading books on my blog and reviewing them. I just started a new blog just for book reviews. I am singing silly songs to Ginny and teaching her little things. She can now stand up stright if we support her. She also knows how to give kisses even though they are the big wide open mouth that makes her look like she will eat your face. But it's been fun. Also we got a huge back of clothes from one of my sister-in-laws that goes all the way up to 2T so getting those organize as well as packing away newborn and most of Ginny's 0-3 months clothes since she's outgrown them.
Stephen and I had our 2nd year anniversery. We decided to treat ourselves to a hotel and a two day break from everything. Ginny had the pleasure of staying the night with my mom. Stephen and I stayed at a hotel that was not the best hotel that we could have stayed. We found a neat indoor pool in Overland park that we plan on going off and on now. We ate at Bufflo Wild Wings and then had some ice cream. Then went to see a movie before we went to see our girl. It was a nice two day get away.
Well Ginny is crying...so I must go...I'll put pictures up sometime soon.

Kk

Book Review: Dog Park

2011-07-03T22:59:00.001-07:00

The Dog Park by Ann Elwood

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In this book there is several short stories that are all part of the same scene and the same set of characters. All the characters take their dogs to this dog park called “Paradise” where they meet each other and become better people. In the first story you meet a character named Cara who just went through a nasty break-up and takes her beautiful dog to this park where she meets another dog that she grew a connection with. Which was one of my favorite stories in the book. I was confused at first in this book but found myself enjoying it. I also was wishing that I could find a dog park like this when I was a child with my dogs. It is a book that is very enjoyable to a dog person and it might be a nice read for those who just like to read short stories. I recommend this book to anyone of my friends and any person who is a dog person. I have received this complimentary copy of the book in exchange for my review.

View all my reviews

A lot on my Mind

2011-06-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I am going to be real here because to tell the truth things happened in my delivery that I still have not stopped blaming myself. When I found out I was pregnant I was excited and I had so many hopes on how things would be. I dreamed of giving birth to my daughter the natural way and then be able to hold her in my arms right away. Then be able to take a ton of pictures of her at the hosptial. To show my family and friends my daughter either that day or the next day. To be able to breastfeed her right away. Heck I saw my sisters have sucessful delieveries. Also have watched them breastfeed their children and I love the bond that they have with their kids even now because of it.
My delievery didn't go at all like I had planned. I was induced three weeks early because of my blood pressure was high. Also my organs were calling it quits. I was scared to have her early but I knew that her lungs was out of the clear. When I stalled at six cm. I litterally broke down. I felt like a huge failure because I couldn't have her the way that I planned. I was scared and very hurt that my body failed me. Especially when I was already at 3 cm. for a week before. I rememeber just feeling like a utter failure. Ginny was born and she was quite large for being three weeks early. When I held her for a little bit in recovery, I tried to nurse her like I wanted to. Failure...she didn't latch on. But I thought I still have a chance to make this right. Later that day, I was going to try again...then the nurses took her away. She was put in the nursery because of her blood suger was dropping quickly and wouldn't stay up. They wouldn't even let me give her pumped milk. She had so many health issues and it scared me. They believe that I got diabites later in my pregnancy after the test. She was sent to Children's Mercy the next day. I wasn't able to hold her as much as I wanted and I wasn't even allowed to nurse her. When I was able to she still would not latch on. She would scream bloody murder before the nurse would take her away and give her formula or my pumped milk.
I tried...not to feel the guilt. My dreams were crashing down hard. I had PPD right away. I felt like a failure when the doctors suggested that I just give her formula in a bottle and sometimes pumped milk. I cried a lot. But I wanted her home so I did just that. When Ginny was a month old we went to our WIC appointment and surprise she latched on like a champ and was perfect.
Monday this past Monday we are back. she won't breastfed. I feel like a total failure and I just want to curl up and bawl my eyes out. I want to be able to feed her without the formula. I want her to get what she needs from me like it's suppose to do. I pray that things will turn around again soon and get better. I am just a failure and I feel like I should give up the dream of breastfeeding my daughter. Because I am not happy...I love my daughter with all my heart. I want her to have the best and I know that breastmilk is the best.
Kk

Reading....

2011-06-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So...I get to have really neat things happen to me lately. I won a free book from goodreads.com...all they want me to do is read the book and review it...and tell the author what I thought of the book. Then I was selected on another website to read books on my kindle and review them on amazon.com and I get the books for free. Woot. Anyways...what does that mean. It means that I'll be posting book reviews on here as well...so get ready for some neat books.
Kk

My Summer Goals

2011-06-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I can't believe how life can become so hectic. This summer has been super fast for me. I believe it's because I am not alone in the apartment anymore. Also because my day usually involves in changing diapers, feedings, and holding an infant. It's amazing how things can become so different. Anyways, I am working on becoming a better person slowly. I have so many different goals this summer it's amazing. Like, I just entered in weight loss contest on my favorite site sparkspeople.com in hopes that I will get down to below 200's by the time school comes around. That is close to thirty pounds that I would need to lose. But hopefully, I can get on to it.
Another goal of mine is to get the apartment organized. I want to be able to really enjoy living in my home. My goal is to organize it so that I will love living here and be proud of living here. Also it will hopefully, organize my school things that I am not stir crazy time school starts.
Last but not least. I want to make my marriage the most amazing thing in the world. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that her parents loved her and each other. To do that I want my husband to know how much I love him and finding things that will make our marriage amazing will be neat.
The very last one is to work through the Book of Mormon. I have been working on it but I want to really work on it. Even if it means that I am reading that and nothing else. I really want to work on it.
So what does that mean to my blog. Well...it means that each day will be something about those goals. Monday's will be about my weight loss journey. Wednesdays will be about my organzing journey, and Friday's will be about my marriage, and then Sunday's is about my spirtual. The other days will be anything that I want to talk about or if I want to take a break from posting. So...here goes life.
Kk

Book Revew: What I Did For Love?

2011-06-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

The synopsis: How did this happen? Georgie York, once the costar of America's favorite television sitcom, has been publicly abandoned by her famous husband, her film career has tanked, her father is driving her crazy, and her public image as a spunky heroine is taking a serious beating.

What should a down-on-her-luck actress do? Not go to Vegas . . . not run into her detestable former costar, dreamboat-from-hell Bramwell Shepard . . . and not get caught up in an ugly incident that leads to a calamitous elopement. Before she knows it, Georgie has a fake marriage, a fake husband, and maybe (or not) a fake sex life.

It's a paparazzi free-for-all, and Georgie's nonsupporting cast doesn't help. There's Bram's punk-nightmare housekeeper, Georgie's own pushy parent, a suck-up agent, an icy studio head with a private agenda, and her ex-husband's new wife, who can't get enough of doing good deeds and saving the world—the bitch. As for Georgie's leading man, Bram's giving the performance of his life, but he's never cared about anyone except himself, and it's not exactly clear why.

Two enemies find themselves working without a script in a town where the spotlight shines bright . . . and where the strongest emotions can wear startling disguises.

My Review: I was bored in the very beginning of this book. It was very slow but slowly it really kicked off when you watch as Georgie and Bram slowly fall in love with each other when they were arch enemy in the beginning. You learn so much about how Georgie was a door mat for everyone her ex-husband and her father, as well as the press. While Bram was way to out there and didn't care what others thought. It took you on a wild adventure following these two as they show you that they equal each other out. It goes by the saying, "There is a thin line between love and hate." I rate this book a four out of five.
Kk

Why is having depression so taboo?

2011-06-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

I am not sure I understand why depression is so taboo to have. Why hasn't society seen that depression is not something you can control on your own. It's not made up and it's not make believe. It shouldn't be a secret thing to have because thousands maybe millions of people have depression. Long ago in soceity they didn't know what depression was and they sent people to asylums to live their lives. To take them out of society. How do I know this because I had great great grandparents put in asylums.
Depression isn't something people make up. It's something that has to deal with the chemicals in their brain. They have too less of it and they need help with medication to stablize them. People need to realize that it's okay to having depression it's just one of those things. My mother has depression and you know what you can't even tell when she is taking her medication every day. I have a couple of friends who have depression and they keep quiet about it with others because they are scared of being different. I got news...we are all different. I rather someone be open about being on medication and having to talk to a perfessional to get them through then going to illigal drugs and drink until they can't remember. But you know what those things don't take away the pain. They may take it away for that moment but once those things wear off that pain will be back. Why am I...so...out there.
Because I HAVE DEPRESSION. I take medication for it and you know what that's okay. I am not scared to be out there with my depression. I was put on medication and you know what...I feel better then I have ever had in a long time. If you go back to some of my old journals online and read some of the thoughts that came in my writing. You would see a totally different person then you would see me now. I am not that depressed girl who cried inside and wanted out. I am much better and I am getting to be happy with myself. I am not scared of admiting that I have depression and I don't think anyone else should.
Kk -I have depression...and that's who I am.

Becoming a Mom

2011-06-05T23:33:00.001-07:00

Hey,
It's one thirty in the morning and right now I am pretty much wide awake. Of course Ginny is actually asleep already from her feed which is amazing. Anyways, a lot is on my mind right now. I never thought being a mom would be so amazing. Okay, I knew it was going to be amazing but didn't think it would be this amazing. It has taken a lot to get used to and I am still in shock that the little girl that is sound asleep in her pack n' play is actually mine. I tell Stephen that at times I believe that her parents are going to come and pick her up because it feels like I am just babysitting her. It's amazing though to see her look up at me and then when she notices that I am looking at her she gives me a grin. She just started to smile and it's not an every day thing. She's an amazing little girl and is growing so much. Stephen is wonderful with her and that in itself makes me love him so much more. Our marriage has never looked brighter as I show him that I love him. He shows it by taking care of our little girl.
I am sorry I haven't written in awhile. It's been interesting to try to find time between taking care of Ginny and taking care of the house. I am slowly getting the hang of it. I'll be used to it by the time school comes around. At least that's the plan anyway. Then I'll have school and homework to add to the mix. My life is changing for the better since becoming a mom. Anyways, I am going to try something and hopefully it will work and my blog will be more interesting to say the least. I am hoping to be able to make things shown in my blog.
Mondays: Will be my cleaning goal. My goal is to declutter my house and make it a real home. Stephen doesn't know this but that's my plan.
Tuesdays: Will be a picture day.
Wednesdays: Will be talking about my weightloss. eww
Thursdays: Will be book reviews
Fridays: Will be me relaxing...no blog post and none on the weekend.

Kk

Ginevera Birth's Story

2011-05-31T10:05:00.001-07:00

This story started on August 29th, 2010 at five o'clock in the morning when I decided to see if I was pregnant. Few people wanted me to test to see if I was in deed with child. Of course I was the one who did not believe that I was pregnant. But on August 29th, I decided to pee on a stick to see if I was. I did not want to look to see if there were two lines so I left it in the bathroom on the counter. I went to the living room and relaxed on the computer. About thirty min. later my husband awoke to find that I was not in bed and came to find me. He then went to the restroom to find the pregnancy test on the counter. He came out holding it and said, “Why didn't you wake me?” I said because I knew it was going to be negative. He then had a shocked look on his face. He then announced that I was pregnant as there were two lines. So my husband had the pleasure to announce to me that I was pregnant. We announced to our families the week after that. We gave our mother's scrapbook stickers of it's a girl/it's a boy and waited to see. Everyone was excited to meet our little bundle of joy. As I grew bigger though everyone took guesses that the baby I was carrying was a boy. As I had a lot of the old wives tales link to me having a boy.
Though on December 23rd, we had my mom, my mother-in-law, and my best friend come with us to our sonogram. Sure enough I was the one who was right that I was pregnant with a little girl. We knew right away her name would be Ginevera Lynne and she would be nicknamed Ginny. We couldn't wait to meet our little girl.

On April 7th, 2011 we went to the doctors. While we were at the doctor's we found out that I had very high blood pressure which was starting to worry the doctor. She said that if we could not get it to go down that night then I would be induced. But at the same appointment we found out that I was already dilated to a 3 cm. We called our parents to let them know what was going on. We were in luck that my blood pressure went down that night so I was sent home. To be put on bed rest till Tuesday at least. My mom came down to help out that weekend. Stephen and I went and bought a blood pressure cuff and I started to take my blood pressure once and while. On Sunday we found that my blood pressure was high all of the weekend. No matter what I did it would not go down.

So after we had lunch my favorite lunch. We went up to labor and delivery. I was tested and sure enough I had more protein in my urine. Also I was high in liver things as well then I was on Thursday. My doctor decided who thankfully was on call that weekend that it was time to have the baby. We started to call all of our loved ones to let them know that we were going to be induced that night. They started the drugs to induce labor. I relaxed and didn't feel the strong contractions that were hitting me hard. At nine o'clock that evening my doctor came in and broke my water. It was the weirdest thing ever to feel the water break. At midnight, the contractions were strong and my mom, Stephen, and his mom convinced me to get the drugs. I was only at 5cm. At seven o'clock in the morning on April 11th, 2011 we found out that I stalled at 6cm. The doctor decided it was time for a c-section. I cried because I did not want to have a c-section with my daughter.

I was wheeled into the room and given drugs that made everything numb. Though it gave me the shakes horribly. I did not like having no control over my body shaking up a storm. Also did not like not feeling my bad knee. I was scared through the whole thing that my knee was going to pop out. Though a doctor there had a nurse stand watch over my knee to make sure it did not pop out. At 8:08am my daughter was born. She was 8lbs 5 oz. And 18.5 inches long. My husband was able to watch them clean her up and then brought her over for myself to meet. She was so beautiful and I couldn't wait to hold her in my arms.

I was able to try to breast feed her but it was unsuccessful. Which was a huge let down for me. My daughter had many health problems that at 10:00pm on Tuesday the 12th they decided to send her to another hospital as the one I delivered did not have a Nicu. I cried when they told me that and thankfully my mom asked if I could be able to go with her. Which my doctor let me go be with my daughter. She was in Nicu for eleven days and all I wanted to do was take her home. Finally on the 21st I was able to take my little girl home. We have been home since.

Update: She just started to breastfeed which is making me very happy.

Kk

Sad Day

2011-04-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I am writing this as a last blog for awhile. As I am thirty-six weeks pregnant now its making me realize that I need to get a ton of school work out of the way. Then I have the nursery to finish up and then do a hard cleaning of the apartment. I guess you could say that I am nesting. It's just hitting me that I could be a mom from a week to five weeks. I want to get ready for this little girl. So each day I make goals that I need to accomplish before I can get on facebook or even blog. So if I post then my goals were meant.
Kk

Friday: It's Late I Know

2011-04-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I have been busy like crazy and will be till the end of the school year. I am trying to get so much done before Ginny's arrival which could happen anytime to tell the truth. So right now I am working hard to prepare myself by getting several things ready. Most of all involves school right now. Sigh. I knew it was going to be diffcult being pregnant and going to school full time but didn't realize by the end of the school day all I want to do is crash and sleep. So right now, I am pushing myself to stay awake and do homework. But not just that but trying to finish projects that aren't even due till the week before finals. I convinced two of my four professors to give me every homework and project now so I can get them done before the end of the year. Now, I have to convince my other two professors to give me their homework. That way if I go in labor, I am not having to worry about turning homework in but also have them done. Stephen is willing to take them up for me to the school and turn them in. So I am really pushing myself to the extreme to get these things done.
But school is going pretty good other then that. I had a rough patch this past Monday when I found out that my application for Block 1 was due on March 1st rather then Apirl 1st. After my prayers and the help of some advisors I was able to turn it in on Friday. So now I am praying hard that I will be able get into block 1 for the fall semister. I have a couple more test that I need to pass before the end of the semister which I will start getting ready for next week. So...if you see me and I look like I am about to fall asleep everywhere don't worry. If I don't make it into block 1 then I will take some more classes most likely towards my minor and apply again for the spring semister. It just wasn't meant to be that I would go into block 1 in the fall. But once I am in block it means that I will be graduating a year later. So We are pretty excited. The chances of us being able to move back to our home town is something we look forward to.
Everything else is going great though. General conferences start today around eleven my time. Stephen's at work so he will have to listen to it another time. My sister Necia is coming to bring the dresser that we found for Ginny's room. So that will be nice. Until Next Friday.
Kk

Thursday: Why I love Him

2011-03-31T16:51:00.000-07:00

So I like to make list. I am a list maker person. Since Thursday is when I talk about marriage mostly my marriage. I thought why not make a list of things that I love about my husband, Stephen. So here are my reasons.

1. He doesn't mind not doing anything.
2. A wonderful cook and loves to cook (I hate cooking)
3. He likes to cheer me up.
4. He is patient with me when he should be.
5. He is a nerd. He loves playing video games, watching t.v, playing on his computer.
6. He puts me on schedule with my h.w. and everything else.
7. He provides an income at a dead end job so that I can accomplish my dreams.
8. He loves me no matter what I look like, if I have a diease, or just having a bad day.
9. He doesn't see my disablity but he sees me for who I am.
10. The way he is excited to meet our daughter. And knowing that he will be a wonderful father.

Find ten things that you love of your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. If single list thigns that you would want in a spouse. You might be surpised to find them in your future in one person.

Kk

Wednesday: Poetry Class

2011-03-30T11:54:00.000-07:00

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. ~Robert Frost

Since I am in poetry class I am learning quickly of poems that I have never heard about. Poetry was something that was always interested me since high school. It has kept my interest in some way since then. Some of my classmates are really good and I envy how natural it seems for them to write. Too bad that I can't share their poetry because who knows if they ever get published. But I can share some poems that I have read in class. Right now we are working on poems that are monologues. So here are some that I like.

These poems are from a book called, "In the Palm of Your Hand" by Kowit

Gretel
said she didn't know anything about ovens
so the witch crawled in to show her
and Bam! went the big door.

Then she strolled out to the shed where
her brother was fattening, knocked down
a wall and lifted him high in the air.

Not long after the adventure in the forest
Gretal married so she could live happily.
Her husband was soft as Hansel. Her
husband liked to eat. He liked to see
her in the oven with the pies and cakes.

Ever after was the size of a kitchen.
Gretal remembered when times were better.
She laughed out loud when the witch
popped like a weenie.

"Gretal! Stop fooling around and fix
my dinner."

"There's something wrong with this oven,"
she says, her eyes bright as a treasure.
"Can you come here for a minute?"
-Ronald Koertge

Flames
Smokey the Bear heads
into the autumn woods
with a red can of gasoline
and a box of matches.

His hat is cocked
at a disturbing angle.

The moonlight catches the teeth
of his smile.
His paws, the size of catcher's mitts,
crackle into the distance.

He is sick of dispensing
warnings to the careless,
the half-wit camper
the dumbbell hiker.

He is going to show them
how professional does it.

No one runs after him
with the famous lecture.
-Billy Collins

My goal to you is choose a character that you have grown up with and write a monologue for them. Put them in the comments so I can read them. I am working on my own monologue of Lord Voldemort. It shall be interesting.
KK

Tuesday: Picture Day

2011-03-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

Spring has Sprung...But Winter Wants to Stay

The View I see sitting....

Monday: First Love

2011-03-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Sorry this is a day late but I still want to write about my first love.
“We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love is our first.” - No Author.

My first love isn't the normal one. I had the normal heartbreak from my first love not once but a couple of times. But I had hope and love that didn't stop coming around for this person. I met my first love when I was in third grade and his family moved into my ward. We were put in the same sunday school and he was often the quiet kid sitting in the back of the class. I hung out with the girls in my class and we all have funny stories that is telled from that sunday school class. But we didn't normally talk to each other until soon after my parents divorced when I was in seventh grade. I didn't have similar interest that those girls in my sunday school class did. I didn't have a daddy that cared about me. I moved across down but still was able to be in the same ward but different junior high. Which happened to be the same junior high that he went to. We became friends slowly in junior year because I didn't really hang out with anyone. I went through depression heavy and often thought of sucide (that's another story). But when I talked to him I felt connection and I felt happy. So gravity towards him and he became a crush. At church instead of sitting with the girls in the front row. I sat with the boys in the back and often found myself getting along more with the boys then I did with the girls. When I turned fourteen, at the Mormon church that is when you are allowed to go to church dances. I was scared because my crush and most of the guys I hung out with at the time were not fourteen. A month later my crush turned fourteen and we danced a slow dance together which was to the song "Don't wanna miss a thing." We also danced to the song "I'll Be." As we grew older every church dance no matter what we were doing or dancing with if those two songs came on we would find each other and dance with each other.
High school I made the option to transfer to another high school across town to start in a 21st program and help start a new school that was built in town. He made option as well. Since we lived across town from the school my mom decided that from seminary she could drive us and another person to the high school. She worked at our high school. We had such a blast riding in the car and talking in the morning before school started. We would look over each other's homework and it was a wonderful time. Several of our matural friends wanted us to date each other. When I turned sixteen which means that I could date I was excited for the fact that he would be sixteen a month later. The church dance before his birthday he announced to me that he had a girlfriend which broke my heart. It was the first time that anyone knew that I had a crush on him. I dated different people off and on. Okay mostly it was the same couple of people which were the guys that I hung out with at church. Often though my crush and I were asked to double date with another couple. Which we never minded even though he was dating someone. I even went to some school dances double dating with him and his dates.
The summer before our senior year, we were both asked to be on a team that taught students at our schools how to use the palm pilots. So that summer we had to train on the palm pilots but also come up with lesson plans to teach to our fellow classmates. Because for some reason the air conditions kept going out at the school. I often invited him to come to my apartment complex which had a pool to go swimming afterwards. We often hung out with each other and we even hung out at his house. Which he happened to walk me home a couple of times. On our last day of training he went home and I went to my apartment. I got online to see him online. We chated a few when he said, "I feel like our friendship is changing." I was in shock because I kept my feelings about him hidden. He then went on to ask me to be his girlfriend which of course I squeled in delight and said yes. I then had to go hang out with one of my best friends. Which he called me at her house and asked if I wanted to go hang out with him at the park with some other church friends. We kept our relationship hidden for awhile because we wanted to announce to people that we were dating. Because we wanted to see their reactions. Everyone kept saying, "FINALLY!" Our senior year was amazing. He often walked me to my first class and even made me breakfast a couple of times. We went on several dates with other couples and just had a blast. Homecoming dance I found out two days beforehand that I had strep so at homecoming dance I was miserable and fell asleep at the dance on his shoulder. We never kissed each other even though their were huge rumors about us making out in the hallway of the school. We were often hugging and holding each other's hands. Prom night was amazing night. At one point of the night we sat next to each other on a bench and because I just had knee surgry not long before hand I told him he could go dance. He said, "No I am perfectly fine right next to you." My heart melted at that saying. We didn't kiss at prom night. We both went to after prom and were watching a pixstar movie and I was falling asleep when he leaned over and brushed a piece of hair out of my face and kissed me. Our first kiss and it was amazing.
After prom our relationship started to take a turn down hill. I was going to be leaving for college an hour and a half. He hadn't decided yet if he was going on a mission or college. He started to distance himself from me at the beginning of summer and I had a good chance that our relationship was going to be over soon. It was a week before our year anniversery when he ended our relationship. I was so upset and never let him know that I loved him.
We stopped talking for awhile and during my first year I got a stalker on campus. He found out about it and we emailed each other off and on and I found out that he was not going on mission. Then it went silent between us again for awhile. I tried to keep my distance because I was still in love with him. My second year of college, his younger brother decided to come to the same college as me. I was nervous knowing that he was going to be there once and awhile. We started to talk on the phone and during family weekend at school. He came to hang out with his brother but hung out with me more. Then the second semister we started our friendship up and we talked on the phone every Sunday night for hours about everything. Often times I drove my roommate nuts. If he called any other times I would ignore the call because I was nervous. That summer we hung out and our friendship was back and I was still in love with him. My third year of college I had a dorm room by myself and I admited to him on the phone that I was going to hide myself for my twenty-first birthday because several of my friends were pressuring me to drink that night. He surpised me on my birthday by showing up after lunch and we hung out all day.
That October, during general conference. I just listend to the Kansas City temple being announced to be built. when I recieved a phone call from a creepy voice saying, "Go downstairs and outside." I was not doing that no matter how many times that guy called. I asked one of my friends to go with me and we found a flower with a note attached. I reconized the handwriting as it was the love of my lifes. As my friends and I went around following the flowers. At the end as we neared the building one of my friends said, "What if he's down on one knee?" I glared at her and then I was really nervous. Of course he was not even there but some roses in a vase with a note attached. The note said something like if you want to be my girlfriend again and know who this is call him. I called him and he didn't answer. He called me back and said, "yes?" I said, "I called didn't I." He rounded a building and I ran into his arms. We kissed and I was in his arms again.
If you haven't figured it out. My first love is my lovely husband Stephen. He was always my first love and I can't wait till he's my last love. I can't wait to see him fall in love with our daughter in May.

Kk

Sunday: Agency

2011-03-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So Stephen got to teach his first lesson in the Elder's Quorum and it was about Agency which is what we learned in relief society as well. Stephen and the teacher in relief society took two different perspectives on the lesson. I got the pleasure to hear both perspectives of the lesson being taught. What I liked about the relief society lesson was that we got to share our thoughts. The teacher that taught often gets us to teach each other more then she teachs us. It's a nice way to learn. It's also nice for a young adult in relief society learn from those that are much older and wiser.
I decided to share some very personal things about myself. I shared that I had a huge choice when I was twelve years old. At eleven years old I found out that I had arthritis and was put on some heavy medicine to slow it down. As eleven years old I had arthritis worse then an eighty year old. At twelve years old I found out about the medicine that i was taking could prevent me from becoming a mother. So I made the heavy option to be taken off every medicine availble. I decided to go with getting my joints worse then they are then not be able to have children. I am totally blessed that I am going to be a mother in little over a month time.

Kk

Friday: Pain and Birthing Class

2011-03-18T04:56:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So today is the last day before Spring Break. I am so ready for a break from school. Also ready to be able to get the Nursery close to being done. Also catch up on homework and studying. So this past week from Saturday to now.
Saturday, Stephen and I went to our birthing class. We didn't learn much in the first session that we didn't already know. We though got to take a tour of the birthing room and post partam room. In the second session we learned a few things. The breastfeeding part was interesting. But we did get two boxes that was full of coupons and samples from huggies. Then we headed to my mom's for dinner and to spend time with her.
On Sunday, the plan was to go to our niece Addie's baby blessing but I had intense pelvic pain that left me in tears. Stephen and I decided to come home early so I could rest. I called my mom to let her know. She came down to take care of me and helped us clean carpets.
Monday, I stayed home from classes because of the pain. I was able to get a doctor's appt. to hear that it was a normal pregnancy pain. It might be SPD. I was bummed that the doctor was not my normal one and she wasn't as nice. My mom stayed till Tuesday evening to help.
Right now I am staying with school. I got B's in Comp II and Poetry. I got C's in Econ. and a Geography. So that is going good.
What to look forward to next week my Baby Shower that my mom is hosting and spring break.
Kk

Thursday: My Marriage

2011-03-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

Stephen works hard to provide for our family. He works at Walmart which doesn't pay him enough for what he does. He gave up a whole lot to move here to be with me. He gave up being close to his family and gave up a good paying job. A job that even offered him a raise to stay there. We lived a few weeks apart in our married life and he wanted to be here with me. He packed everything and moved down here to be with me. I can't be more happy to be with him and know that we are going to be parents soon. We struggle with money because how little he makes and yet he never complains. He never complains that we miss things in his family because we live far away. Never complains when I just need to be in his arms.
I never witness such a sacrifice in a guy in my life. When things got tough they took off. No matter who they hurt in the long run. Many times I wonder why Stephen is is with me and I often tell him that I am too lucky to have him as my husband. I am not the most open person because of my past and he pushes until he knows it's not something to push about. I have a hard time connecting with people and sometimes even with him. But he doesn't give up hope on me and he doesn't mind to just hold me and let me cry.
He is my knight and shining armor.
Kk

Tuesday Picture

2011-03-15T05:42:00.000-07:00

My mom came down and cleaned our carpets.

Sunday: Spirtual Side

2011-03-13T03:16:00.000-07:00

So, since today is Sunday and it's five in the morning I thought I would make a blog post. I am not your every day mormon person. I have had my ups and downs and fall outs in the church. My mom and siblings were all baptised on the same day. I was four years old and blessed in the church. I was then baptised at eight years old by my dad. It's been a hard road for me to travel. My family stopped going to church for awhile. My siblings stopped going to church all together. My parents got a divorce, my sisters got pregnant. All the pressure for me to stay in the church and get married in the temple was all on me. I didn't have a testimony of the church at all. I didn't feel like I belonged in the church but only went to make my mom happy. To try and fit in with my peers.
When I went off to college I went to church. I started to and was really happy in going. But I stopped going because I didn't feel like I belonged. I didn't have a father who had the priesthood and didn't really have friends in the ward. I was in love with a boy that broke my heart.
When I got engaged, I knew I didn't want to be married in the temple. I wanted my siblings to be able to see me get married to my husband. I wanted that experience that I watched both of my sisters recieve. But now that I am married and very much in love with my husband. I can't see my self without him even if one of us die. I want him forever in my life. To make that real we started to grow our own testimonies. We started to go back to church and I felt like I belonged. Now that I am pregnant I want the very best for my daughter. I want her to know that just because she doesn't have a testimony right now she can build her own slowly. I am starting to have a testimony and I am hoping that by the time that the Kansas City temple gets done that I will be ready to be sealed to not only my husband but to our little girl as well. Because I want to be with them forever.

Kk

Saturday: Organizing Our Life

2011-03-12T04:54:00.000-08:00

Since we are expecting a little girl in less then two months we are trying to be organized as much as possible. Stephen and I cleaned out the second bedroom that we are turning into the nursery. But we are also trying to organize everything else. So this is our journey to organize our life.
Right now we have a ton of totes and boxes full of random things. We are still trying to blend our things together. So we are going through the totes and giving things to good well and even putting them in totes to put in storage (or my mom's basement). Stephen has a box full of electrical cords. He went through it and got rid of things we don't need but also tieing the cords up. I went through my books and got rid of a ton. :( We have been slowly collecting Christmas things and now we have a tote just for Christmas. How are you organizing your life?
Kk

Friday: Weeks up to Today

2011-03-11T11:27:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So things are busy. School is going good in some ways and bad in others. In poetry and Comp. II I have a B. Each of my poems in poetry have given me a good B. And two essays that I have already done in Comp. II both got a good B which both that I am re doing in hopes to raise it to an A. So I am pretty happy with those two classes. In Geography, that's another story. I had one test so far my other test will be in a couple of weeks. The test I recieved a 49% on so that makes my grade very low and miserable. I am hoping to really study over spring break to bring the grade up also to try and get ahead on school work. In my Econ. class, I got a C- on my first class which means that I am at a C- in class. I am hoping to bring that grade up by studying harder then before. But things are going good in classes and I am really thankful to have tutoring in Geography and Econ. the two that I knew I would need help in. I will be soon registry for next semister and applying for Block 1. I will need prayers that I can be accepted into Block 1 so I can finally get started on becoming an elementary teacher.
My pregnancy is going really well. I am still measuring a week ahead which means that Ginny could be a pretty good size baby. I am just hoping she will not be nine pounds or more. My doctor said that she will let me go at least a week after my due date which means that I could get my finals in if I don't go in labor. But my geography teacher is letting me take my final the week before in her class. I am hoping that my econ teacher will let me do the same so I don't have to worry about it. At our last doctor's appointment we found out that most likely Ginny is already heads down which is a plus since I never turned. Also her heartbeat was 156 which is pretty good and her normal. Here is some bump pictures.

31 Weeks

32 Weeks
Also Stephen and I have been really working on the nusery. We are so excited to be able to get everything ready for the arrival of our little girl. As the nusery is getting ready it's making it more real for us. That she will be here very soon. I have my baby shower that my mom is hosting on the 19th of March and the one here in my college town on the 9th of Apirl. It's just really hitting me that I will be a mother really soon. I am just hoping that she will stay until at least the week before her due date.

So Stephen and I like to treat ourselves once and awhile. Since we don't usually buy gifts for each other we get to pick out something when we have the money. This time we were able to pick out one big gift for each of us. Stephen got a 32 inch HDTV for the living room. He's been begging me to let him get one and I finally let him. I got a Kindle which will be nice to take the hospital with me as I won't be needing tons of books to keep me occupied. Though who knows when I will actually take it out and use it at the hospital. It's nice though and I am enjoying it.
What to look for to next week's post is that we have our only birthing class tomorrow on Saturday and on Sunday we will be going to see our niece Addie get blessed. It will be nice to see family this weekend. So that's what next week's post will be about.
Kk

Thursday Marriage: Time Together

2011-03-10T04:57:00.000-08:00

Hey,
My marriage is very important to keep stable and loving. Since I didn't have an example growing up it has made me more aware of things in my marriage. It's a growing process for me to learn to let some things go. Some things that bother me but at times I have to just let it go. Stephen and I try to set some time together to just talk.

Sometimes he will get home from work and sit in his chair. I would sit on his lap. We would talk about my schooling and things that happened at school. Then we would talk about his work. We would then talk about anything and relax. I look forward to these times every day.
Also, I got this idea from my sister Necia and her husband. I wake up with Stephen every morning no matter if I have to or if I don't. I wake up with him and have breakfast with him. We don't talk usually but it's a tradition that we do. He does the same thing even on his day off he will get up with me. We are planning on having that time together every morning. So when our daughter is born that will be our time before she gets up for the day. It will be our time together.
Another one doesn't happen all the time. But we often travel to our family places and where we live that is an hour and a half away. We don't have a radio working in the car but that's okay with both of us. Because now it's time to just talk about everything that matters to us. It's a time where we can talk without the interuptions and just enjoy each other's company. I love car trips for this reason because I get to spend that time with my husband not having to worry about anything else other then the the road.
Kk

Wednesday: Changing

2011-03-09T04:53:00.000-08:00

Since I don't have a ton of experience on marriage. I decided to let that go. But I do have a ton of experience in reading books and other litature. So Wednesday is changing to met talking about different litature. So what kind of litature will I talk about. Anything to tell the truth. I read fanfiction, poetry, short stories, and novels. These will be my thoughts about these litature. During anytime if you want to suggest a book, fanfiction, poetry go ahead.
Till Next Week,
Kk

Tuesday Picture

2011-03-08T19:36:00.000-08:00

Today, I went to my ward's relief society birthday. It was really nice to learn different things. Our lessons were amazing and I learned a lot from each of them. So today question is What did you do today?

Kk

About Me: Meaning Behind Blog Name

2011-03-07T04:51:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Sorry I didn't do Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, or even Sundays blog post. It seems like we are trying to get everything done before Ginny's arrival this weekend. I'll have to do those soon. I might take Saturdays while Stephen is at work to do a week's worth a blog post. So bare with me until I can get a schedule down. Okay so today we get to find the reason behind my blog name.
I didn't choose my blog name to make life interesting. I actually chose it because I am not very good at diary writing or even journal writing. I like to have an audience or at least think that I have an audience. Where when I write in a book with paper I often feel like no one can tell what I am writing about and I don't want to write it out in the open. So I came up with thediarywithin. Because somewhere everyone has a diary within themselves they just have to find a way to open up to it. Either in private like in a book full of blank pages or on a blog. Somewhere where they can get their thoughts, views, and things that they do out in the open. I am learning quickly that it just takes time and sure you might lose that diary once and awhile but it's still there within you full of your thoughts, secrets, and opionion. So that's why I am named thediarywithin.
What's the reason behind your blog name?

Kk

Wednesday: Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage: Date Night

2011-03-02T05:58:00.001-08:00

As a college student and my husband is working at Walmart we often are living pay check to pay check. Which is stressful on our marraige. But we still find a chance to date each other. We often don't leave our home when we go on our dates. At times we will make dinner together or pick up something cheap for dinner. Then watch a movie either on our netflicks or renting from redbox. We have found out that having date night each week at least will help strengthen our marriage and it never has to be a big thing. Sure sometimes when we have the money we can go out instead of being home. But we often find the time. When our daughter is born in May we will be having date nights at home more often so we don't have to pay for a sitter. But we already have plans for the times we want to go out. Since we often go see our parents one of them would be willing to watch for an hour while we go out to eat for a little while. We will find a way.
It doesn't have to be a huge date and spend lots of money. It just needs to be a time to spend with each other and strengthen your marriage.
KK

Tuesday: Life Around Me: Snow to Flooding

2011-03-01T04:54:00.001-08:00

Hey,
So Tuesday is about things around me in a picture. Well today you get two pictures.

That picture is from last Week. The night before we got snow and freezing rain.

This picture is of a thunderstorm that we got on Sunday. Stephen just made it home from priesthood duties when our street flooded. That would be our street under all that water.
Kk

Monday: About Me: 15 Facts

2011-02-28T18:41:00.001-08:00

Hey,
So we are starting to get to know myself. So I am suppose to take a recent picture of myself, and list fifteen interesting facts of myself. To tell the truth I believe I am kind of boring. This picture was taken a couple of nights ago. I was showing off my new haircut.

Fifteen Facts
1. I had a crush on my husband since I was twelve years old. The month before my eighteenth birthday we started to date. We broke up eleven months later and then a few years after that we were back together. I knew he was the one when I was twelve. I only had one other boyfriend before him and that was when I was eleven.
2. I have rheumatoid arthritis since I was born. Through I found out on my eleventh birthday and the doctor didn't believe I would be walking in my twenties. I am twenty-three years old and I am still walking a lot.
3. I am adopted by my dad when I was four years old. My mom remarried and the guy adopted all of us kids. We were even sealed to them in the temple soon after.
4. I have three older siblings. They are one brother and two sisters. All of which are adopted by my mom. Which they are actually blood siblings to each other.
5. I lived in Germany for eleven months when I was younger. I am an army brat.
6. I have one friend that has been my best friend since I was about four years old.
7. I love reading and often can read a book in a day. Which is hard when I am a college student.
8. I don't like to argue with people so often I just agree with them. To let the subject drop.
9. I write novels in my free time. But I have never finished one ever.
10. I want to be a stay-at-home mom. But not seeing it in my future with the jobs my hsuband and I want to do.
11. I am in my fifth year of school. I often am sad about this but have learned that I am learning things better as I am retaking classes.
12. My grades are getting better since I found out I was pregnant. My grades used to be C's and B's and are often now A's and high B's. I am actually on an Honor Society on campus for my grades.
13. I fell away from the church for a little while. I am trying to strengthen my testimony and trying to find out who I am in the church.
14. I have never had any alchol and it doesn't bother me. I have never wanted to try it but been pressured many of times.
15. My husband and i plan to be sealed to each other and our little girl in the Kansas City temple soon after it is built.

So there you have fifteen facts about myself.

Changing Things Up On the Blog

2011-02-24T11:52:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Man if you saw some of my notebooks, you would see several blog post that has never made it online. Anyways, I am trying to better my blog so its more interesting. So I am going to make some changes that will be different. Starting, Saturday my blog will be different in the way the posts will be run. So each day will get a topic that i will write about. It will make this blog more interesting and hopefully gather more readers. Here is what it will be like.
Monday: Who I Am
This topic will be how I am trying to find out who I am as a person. First, I will start by doing a 30 day challenge that I found except it will be in 30 weeks. Then using journal questions to find out who I am.
Tuesday: Capturing Life Around Me
Will be taking a single picture of something around me that week. I might explain in a paragraph about that picture. But sometimes I might just ask you question about the picture.
Wednesday: Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage
Okay, so I haven't even been married for over three years but there are somethings that I am learning about that works for my marriage that I can spread to your marriages or relationships as well. Also sometimes I might use some things I find on other blogs that I will share.
Thursday: Strengthing My Marriage
I know I am still new at the marriage thing. Stephen and I are coming up on our second anniversery. We are also adding to our little family in May. So we want to keep our marriage alive. My goal with this one is right now find something in the week to surpise my hubby with. It could be like cooking him dinner one night or doing some of his chores. Something that is simple but yet can show so many words that I love him.
Friday: Regular Blogging
On this day I just plan to tell you things I did this week and other things on my mind.
Saturday: Let's Get Organized
I am a college student, a wife, and a soon to be mother. I want to get organized in my life. I want to take you on the journey as I use tips to get myself organized from college stuff to regular home things. So maybe you can take those tips and use them for yourself. Also you are more willing to let me on some tips that you have.
Sunday: Spirtual Me
My faith is not as strong as I want it to be. So on Sundays will be my journy to strengthen my faith. I'll be talking about my religion as a mormon. Things that I am doing to strengthen it.

So as you can see things will be different. The blog will be organized where you can access the blog post any time. Hopefully, things will get interesting on the blog. Let me know your thoughts and your always welcome to invite friends to it.
Kk

About a Little Girl Named Emma Marie

2011-02-15T05:02:00.001-08:00

Hey,
So this is going to be a hard blog post to write. But I feel the need to write this blog for the reason of one of my dear friends, Ally, had to go through it. Last year on 2/12/10 my friend Ally went to go get an ultrasound of her little one. She was so excited to be able to see the little one. She was going to find out if it was a male or female. Ally, was hoping for a little girl as she already has a perfect little boy Brayden. That day she went with so much excitment, she was posting status updates as she waited to go back to meet her little one with so much love. A couple hours later her friends found out the worst news that a mother could recieve. Ally, found out that she was having a little girl but something was wrong. Her little girl Emma Marie had anencephaly. Ally found out her little girl wouldn't make it very long after she gave her daughter birth. Ally decided to give birth to her little girl on Febuary 15th, 2010. Which means today is Emma Marie's first birthday. When Ally gave birth to Emma Marie she was lucky enough to be able to spend not the one hour the doctor told her how long Emma would be able to stay alive but five hours. Ally was able to take pictures of her little girl and able to get footprints of her and spend time with her little girl before she left the earth.
Ally is still heartbroken for her little girl. I know that she will still be twenty years from now. She will always remember her little girl Emma Marie. A mother doesn't forget their child. Ally though is wanting to pass information about the diease her little girl had to help other mother's prevent it from happening to them. Soon after she found out about her daughter's illness the day before she went to give labor to Emma she posted a facebook note telling all of us to ask our doctor's questions early. For all women who are child-bearing age to take at least 0.4 mg of Folic Acid even if they are not pregnant right now. To be able to prevent this diease as well spina bifida. Taking folic acid that small amount could prevent up to 50 to 70% of pregnancys that could have this.
So what is anencephaly? Anencephaly is a defect in the closure of the neural tube during fetal development. The neural tube is a narrow channel that folds and closes between the 3rd and 4th weeks of pregnancy to form the brain and spinal cord of the baby. It occurs when the head end of the nural tube fails to close, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants that are born with this disorder are born without a forebrain and a cerebrum. The remaining brain tissue is often exposed. The baby is usually born blind, deaf, uncounsious, and unable to feel pain. Although some infants with anecephaly may born with some brain steam, the lack of a functioning cerebrum premanently rules out the possiblity of ever gaining consciousness. Though they do have reflex actions such as breathing and responses to sound or touch. The cause of it is still unknown though it is a thought that the mother's diet and vitamin intake may play a role. If the infant is not stillborn, like Emma, then they will die within a few hours or days after birth. Research is being done to understand how the brain and nervous system normally develop. These studies are contribute to a greater understanding of neural tube disorders, such as anencephaly, and open promising areas to treat and prevent neurological birth defects.
My friend Ally had to go through some of the worst pain a mother could go through and that was saying goodbye to her little girl. So women who are any child-bearing age please take some folic acid no matter if you are waiting to have children right now or is starting to try to get pregnant. You can give yourself and your future offspring the chance of a life. Because I don't want to see another friend go through this pain.
To Ally, all of your friends love and support you today. We are all grieving with you for the loss of Emma. We are all celebrating her few hours of birth today by lighting candles, letting balloons go in to the sky. Because in those five hours that she was here she changed our eyes. I love you Ally.
To Emma, Happy First Birthday little girl. You are so loved by everyone. Your mother misses you a ton and so does your older brother. I know you are watching down from above wishing that your mommy would be okay. You can trust her friends and family to be here for her. I love you Emma.
This is a poem that is written by Ally for her daughter.

We went to the sonogram expecting the great news,
that our baby was secure growing in the womb.
We heard her little heartbeat,
and we felt her move,
we ended up getting the worst possible news.

Our little girl was perfect but she wasn't going to survive.
She had an Anencephaly,
there was no way she could stay alive.

Our baby girl is in heaven an angel in the sky,
filled with joy and laughter growing as time goes by.
Our life will eventually go on the tears will come and go,
It will only take time now to heal our broken souls.

We'll never forget,
We'll always wonder what could be,
We'll always love her so much,
Our Baby girl,
Our Emma Marie.
by Ally
*The picture and the poem are from Ally's facebook page.*
With deepest sadness,
Kk
P.S. Please light a candle in honor of this sweet little girl and others infants who were born with anencephaly today. I know I will.

Snow, Pregnancy, School, and Snow

2011-02-12T05:37:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So we survived the blizzard with only four inches of snow. Which isn't bad and I got out of school for two days. But of course that puts classes to put more work into us students to do which is not fun as midterms are coming up. So school is going okay, I still have pretty good grades in my classes as there is no exams as of right now.
Pregnancy is going really well. Since my niece Addie was born on Friday it seems like Ginny is moving like crazy. My belly is always moving to her movements which is very fun to deal with class. I have around 80 days till my due date which is starting to come fast. My doctor appointments are now even every two weeks which is very interesting. I just took a GD test and will find out soon if I passed or not. I am hoping that i will.
Oh we had another snow storm which seemed to stall over us here. We got fourteen inches of snow in one night. More then the blizzard dumped over us. It was very interesting and we got another day off of school. I spent the snow day cleaning the apartment and homework.
Kk

01/25/11

2011-01-25T12:11:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Sorry I haven't posted a lot. School is getting pretty busy. I have my first paper due on Monday that is a summary over an essay for Comp. II. In Poetry class we have our first poem due on Friday over a family memory. In Geography we are learning about the U.S. and Canada. Also we are starting out semister project. We also have a first reading quiz due on Thursday. In Econ. we are still learning the basics.
Stephen is busy working but is finding time to relax. He is often watching one of his t.v. shows and playing video games. He is also planning a halo party for Febuary. Also he is busy taking care of me on his day offs and cleaning the apartment. Other then today when he is filling out job applications in hopes for a better job.
I am at twenty-six weeks along today in my pregnancy. It's so weird to think that I have a living human that is about fourteen inches long. Though this past weekend we had a scare. I ended up in the hospital for contractions and low movement. Everything is fine now thankfully.
Kk

Books!

2011-01-22T05:40:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So on Thursday we had our ultrasound and I got to see Ginevera moving about. She was being a pain as she was as low as she can be. But thankfully, the tech was able to get the measurements that she was needed. Everything is prefectly fine and Ginevera does not have a cleft lip or a cleft pallet which is good news. Also she is still a girl which we are really greatful as we have gotten her baby bedding. But before we went to the ultrasound. Stephen and I went out to eat at Applebees which was 39 cent wing day. So I was able to eat fifteen hot wings which were so yummy. Then we went to the library to drop of some books and get some new ones. I picked up some baby books on how to raise and which stuff to get for the baby. One of the books is about how to raise a girl. I thought why not read some about it and I could take pieces of it and use it. So I am pretty excited to read these books.
On Friday, I woke up sick to my stomach. Finally when it was time to go to class it settled down. Hopefully, it will do the same today. Last night Stephen and I went to walmart to get things for dinner we had steak, potato, and breadsticks it was so yummy.
That's it...just reminder come check out my new blog.

Kk

Good News and School

2011-01-19T18:40:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So school is going pretty good. Over the weekend I got all my homework done that was due on Tuesday and Wednesday. So I am working hard on keeping up within my schooling. I start getting tutoring on Friday which is going to be so nice to get help to study. Thankfully, Stephen doesn't mind if I study while he is at home at night. He actually encourages it.
So...good news...I got a letter in the mail saying that I am invited to join National Honor Society at Emporia State. I am so excited to be able to join the National Honor Society. Perhaps getting pregnant was a good thing as I am more focus on raising my grades so my little girl can be proud of me.
Oh...tomorrow we have our doctor's appointment and get another u/s I can't wait to see how much she has grown since I was twenty-one weeks.

Kk
P.S. I have a new blog. http://tomydarlinglittlegirl.blogspot.com/ it's letters that I am writing to Ginevera as she grows up.

Book of Mormon Challenge

2011-01-19T04:59:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So Stephen and I like having the missionaries come over and surpise us. They sometimes come and see if Stephen can drive them to their apartment if they are on our side of town. So on Monday night they stopped by around 8:30pm to come and spend some time with us. We talked about how we feel when we do things right and how we benifit from it. Then Elder Nam challenged us to read the book of mormon as quickly as possible. He gave us a piece of paper each that is called The Amazing Battle Plan which is a board game like and after we read the scripture we fill in the blank spot on the board. So far...I am winning between me and Stephen. I have found out that I can listen to it on my computer in the mornings while I get ready for school or even relax before school starts. Also I can listen to it while I work on my worksheets for school.
Kk

School Stress and Other things

2011-01-17T11:44:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So even though I decided to take only four classes this semister. I was hoping for an easy semister as seeing I will be giving birth to my daughter during this time. But it seems like the four classes are going to give me a lot to do and study from. I just finally got finished with homework for Tuesday and Wednesday classes. I took a break on Sunday as I was really tired and it was sunday. I am trying to not do homework on Sunday. Let's hope that will keep going. But in truth, school tires me out lately. I didn't think I would be so tired all the time. Sunday I slept almost three hour nap. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep the day away. Thankfully, I have a great husband who loves to tuck me in and wakes me up so I don't over sleep.
Last night was amazing though. At four o'clock we had our home teacher over who brought his little son with him. It was nice to talk about our families and his family. Then after he left Stephen and I do our own things. As I was sitting down and on the computer talking to people online, Ginevera was kicking me like mad. It was funny to watch my stomach move all over the place from her kicks. I even got a video of it on my computer because it was so cool.
I just have to remember that I have a little person growing with in me. I can't let things stress me out as it's not good for her. I have to keep positive thoughts and know that everything is for this little girl that will be in my arms come May.
KK

Bummed

2011-01-17T11:35:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So when I found out that I was expecting on August 29th, I took out an empty notebook and wrote a letter to my unborn child. About my fears of becoming a mother and how excited I was. My first thought of expecting the child that was inside of me. I also wrote about my first moment that I got to see my little one at 10 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Well...the notebook has been missing for over a month now. Do I miss having it, I do. I wanted to give my child those letters when they are feeling low on themselves and offically give it to them when they leave home. I was going to contuine writing letters through out my whole pregnancy of moments that I felt close to her.
Since losing it I have been bummed and looking everywhere for the notebook. Today I realize that I might never see the notebook that held my fears, loves, and hopes for my unborn child. So I found an empty notebook today and I decided to write a letter to Ginevera aobut those moments as much as I can remember. I am writing about the moments of feeling her kick, the moment that I found out she was my little girl, watching Stephen feel her kick him in the face, my mom feeling her kick for the first time. I am going to write about all those memories so that when Ginevera feels like no one loves her. She will realize that I have always loved her.
A long time ago I used to write letters to my first child even before I got pregnant. Stephen and I were not trying to have a baby when we did it was a suprise. But every time I thought of becoming a mother I would write a letter to my unborn children telling them how much I love them even though I can't see them and am not pregnant with them. But over time I thought they were stupid and I would tear them up and throw them away. How I wish I kept those keepsakes of me and my feelings for my children.
Kk

Second Day of Spring Semister

2011-01-13T19:30:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Man am I wiped out. My body isn't used to sitting in classes for a couple of hours anymore. Also it seems that Ginevera thinks that is the time to be wide awake and kicking me a ton. Not only where my belly touches the desk but also on my bladder. Thankfully, it's only two classes a day and I think I can manage that.
Today, I had Basic Econ. where thankfully, I have one of my friends in that class. She is offering to help towards the end especially if perhaps my water breaks or I go in labor in class. She offering to take me to the hospital and have me call Stephen on the way. The teacher didn't really seem to care that I was pregnant so not sure how that's going to play as I get closer to my due date.
I also had Geography. We already took a ton of notes and have homework for the class. After the class though, I watched another girl talked to the teacher about her pregnancy. She is further along then me. The teacher joked, "Tell me your not due during the semister." The girl is having a c-section next month. I then broke my news and when I was due. She was fine with it and said we would play it by ear. The bad thing is their is a huge project that is due on May 5th. Hopefully, Ginny will be able to hold off till after I take my finals.

Kk

Snow....First Day of Classes....24 Weeks...

2011-01-13T04:50:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So I haven't been feeling well and it seems now that I am finally able to get up off my feet and get things done. On Saturday, Stephen had to call in sick because I was in a lot of pain. We went to the hospital and found out that I had infection. So I was started on pain medicine to help clear that. We also decided to just head up to Olathe for the weekend. We played halo with Charlie on a huge tv screen for a little while since no one else was home. Then we went to Walmart to get an oil change in the car. While that was getting taken care of my mom took us to Sam's so we can get stocked up on food. Then we all hung out for awhile at the Mitt's family's house.
On Sunday, Stephen and I went to my mom's ward instead because we were going to watch the Chief's play in the playoffs that afternoon with her. When we got there I noticed that Elyse was taking two of her kids out of the sacrement which meant one was left in sacrement by himself. I offered to go sit with him during it and it was a lot of fun to help her out during sacrement meeting. After sacrement meeting I met up with my mom and she talked to seveal ladies all who instantly went for my baby bump. Can I say that is the first that's ever happened to me. It was an odd experience. But everyone said I looked great and happy. After church Stephen and I went back to his parents house and packed up our stuff because depending on the weather we might leave early. The chief's lost the game which means they are done for the season. But my mom and I talked and during the whole game Ginny was moving around a lot. I told my mom and she put her hand where I said Ginny was. Instantly Ginny stopped moving like she always does with Stephen. Mom talked to her and soon she kicked hard. It made me laugh to watch my mom's reaction to her granddaughter kicking her. It was really great. We headed home at five o'clock and hit the snow storm about twenty minutes outside of our home. We made it home fine and soon after we got everything in the police were talking that the residents should stay inside because the roads were horrible.
On Monday, many schools cancelled but I already didn't have school as I didn't start till Wednesday. I went out for a little while in the snow to get some pictures of it falling. I couldn't wait for Stephen to get home and got a side picture of me in the snow for my Ginny's future baby book.
On Tuesday, I still didn't have school so I started to get ready. A lot of school were cancelled on Tuesday because the roads were terrible still. I decided to shovel a bit on Tuesday because I love to shovel snow. Don't ask me why. That night, Stephen and I were laying in bed and Ginny was moving a ton. I told Stephen and he layed his hand on her. Of course she went still with his hand there. I told him to pat it gently and he did. She kicked him hard back it was funny. Stephen did it for several more times feeling his daughter kick him back. It was so neat to watch him interact with her like that. Since I always get to interact with her as she's inside me.
Yesterday, I headed off to school for two classes. I was dreading it because I had to tell my professors that I was pregnant and due during dead week. I had really great professors who both said to keep them informed of the pregnancy. We would work things out as it comes. Which was really nice of them. Everyone told me that Ginny would be most likely sleeping because I would be walking to school which will put her to sleep. During both classes, she was moving like crazy which was making me smile. My daughter doesn't sleep very much, she will be one interesting little girl.
My goals for this school year is that I will get ahead of my school work and work my butt off for a good grade. I am hoping for a wonderful grade even though I will be in my third trimester during most of the semister. I want to be able to push through it and get good grades. Because I want to be an example for Ginny when she is my age. I want her to see that you don't have to have perfect grades but you have to push through it and make the best grades for you.
KK

GO CHIEFS!

2011-01-10T05:37:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So on Saturday I woke up and being in intense pain. Enough that I was in tears which is really hard to do. Stephen called into work to take care of me because I normally can handle pain. I have a really high pain tolerence so when I am crying in fetal position because of pain then I am in really bad pain. Stephen and I waited to call the doctor's and soon we went to the hospital. Found out that I have an infection, what fun. So, I am on antibiotics for it. We then decided to head to Olathe to go to Sam's Club and see family. We have been going up there for a month every weekend so it seems lately. On Saturday, we played a little halo with Charlie (Stephen's little brother) then we dropped the car off to get an oil change while my mom and us went to Sam's Club. Stephen and I bought a ton of stuff that we will need plus, I wanted to see how much diapers and wipes will cost if we get them there for the near future.
We then went back to the Mitts house and hung out. My mom and Stephen's mom talked about family history and are making plans on working on it together. I got to spend time with my niece Ami and nephews Josh, Jared, and Jacob since their parents were going on a date for their anniversery.
On Sunday, Stephen and I woke up early to go to my mom's ward. We got their nine min. late and I saw two kids that I used to babysit a ton with their mom. Their dad was at the playoffs so she was alone with three kids. She told me that Jason was sitting by himself in the chapel. Jason is the oldest of the three and I have been watching him since he was a baby. So I went into to sit with him and help Elyse with the kids. Then after sacrement my mom and I talked to several people and several women touched my baby bump since for some reason Sunday I was carrying really high. It made me laugh on how many people were responding. Mom talked to a lady who wants to hold my baby shower at her house. Then we went to my mom's house for chili and to watch the chiefs play for the playoffs. We lost, but it was a pretty good game. After the game mom was touching my stomach and Ginevera kicked her hard. My mom couldn't believe it and Stephen was a bit jealous. Ginevera hasn't kicked him since Christmas eve. We then packed up and headed back to Emporia to try to beat the storm.
We got twenty miles outside of Emporia when it hit which was really good. By the time we were unpacked and in the house the police in the city was saying stay off the roads. We made it in perfect timing.
KK

Dreams

2011-01-07T13:24:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So not long ago I was telling my best friend Sarah some of the hopes and dreams that I have for Ginevera. Because I want the best for my daughter and some of the things that I didn't have growing up I want her to have. One of the most major thing that I want her to be able to have is to see her parents in love. I never saw my parents in love and I mostly saw them fight. I don't want my daughter to always be on edge to think that Stephen and I will divorce. I want her to see that we love each other and see that we do work at it. I want her to see how much we love each other and want to be around each other. Because I know how hard it was to not see that in my own family but see it in other families.
I also want her to be able to have a wonderful relationship with Stephen. I never got that with my dad and how much I craved it. I had to have a father daughter relationship with someone else. But how much a craved for a relationship with my own dad. I was always jealous of other girls getting that chance to go out to eat with just them and their dad. Or even have their dad lecture the boyfriends picking them up. I craved that experience in my life. Just like I craved for the father daughter dance at weddings even my own wedding. I know I will get to watch my daughter be able to dance with Stephen because he will be involved. Also be able to celebrate father's day. I never got the chance it always hurt me hard.
Kk

School

2011-01-05T13:46:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So sitting here just thinking about next week which is when I head back to school. I actually miss going and once school comes then I have something to really count down. Because at the end of the semister I'll be becoming a mother to a beautiful baby girl. It amazes me that things are going so quickly in life.
This semister I am retaking three classes and taking an easy class on top of it. Because I don't know what's going to happen towards the end of my pregnancy so I want very limited amount of classes as possible. The three classes that I am retaking are...Econ., Comp II, and Geography. I am also taking Poetry class on top of it. I only have two classes a day which should be pretty easy and easy to schedule doctor's appointments around.
I think the hardest part is talking to my teachers about my pregnancy. I hate to talk to them about my arthritis because it makes me different. I am pretty sure being pregnant and growing very large will set me apart from my classmates. I already know two of my professors both which I have and both are males. Not sure how it's going to go. But I am hoping to get a doctor's note on the 20th that will explain my due date to them. That way it's proof that I am pregnant and due two weeks before finals week.
Kk

23 Weeks and My Thoughts

2011-01-04T06:42:00.001-08:00

Hey,
It's amazing to know that I am twenty-three weeks along in my pregnancy. I am in total shock that the pregnancy is moving quickly along. I am sure it will move even faster once school starts next week. Ginevera is such a fun child already she doesn't have a set time to when I will start feeling her. Like on New Year's eve while playing wii I was getting heavy kicks. Where for the first time I could see my belly move to her kicks. But as soon as her father puts his hand on my stomach to feel her she stops moving. Once he removes it she goes nuts. Every kick sent me laughing because I would jump. I had to ask my mom if you get used to feeling the kicking after awhile and she said, "No." Great, I am going to be looking like I am insane in class with her kicking me and me jumping.
Since we went to my in-laws this weekend because Stephen was helping Karl move into the house him and Johanna bought. We were at church and everytime I would start singing she would kick me. It seems to me she loves music lets hope that keeps going. Stephen and I both love music ourselves. It's been interesting though being pregnant, but I am enjoying every moment of it.
Our next doctor's appointment is on the 20th, which we are blessed that we get another ultrasound to see our little girl. I can't wait to see how much she has changed and gotten bigger. I feel like she has hit a growth spurt since the 23rd of December. Plus, I get more pictures of her. Stephen and I talked about what if she has a diease off and on and you know we will love her no matter what. I have arthritis and Stephen has a learning disablity and you know what we make it work. Our little girl will be amazing and wrapped around out finger no matter what.
Stephen and I are excited about this year that we get to become parents. We know it's going to be hard and we are going to be tight on money. But Heavenly Father wanted us to become parents right now in our lives. We are putting our faith in his hands to help guide us to do what's right for our little girl.
On Easter this year, I will be very large as it will be almost upon my due date. It will be interesting to see how that will be different. Then Christmas next year, Ginevera will be seven months old so it will be interesting to watch my daughter open Christmas presents.
Can't wait,
KK

New Years

2011-01-04T06:32:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So as we all know that New Years just past. Since Stephen had to work both New Year's Eve and New Years we didn't do much. We did have Stephen's friends Peter and Richard come down and spend time with us. They came down around four o'clock on New Year's Eve and we spent time playing Mario Party 8 on the wii. It was a lot of fun even though it was relaxing as can be. At ten o'clock we decided to toast to the New Years as I am pregnant and get exhasted very easily and Stephen had to work at seven in the morning. We headed off to bed while Peter and Richard stayed up doing whatever.
In the morning Stephen left for work and I was left with the boys. Peter and I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer until he decided to head home at noon. Richard was hitching a ride with us to Olathe so we ended up watching Angel until Stephen came home. Then we headed to Olathe.
Not an exciting New Years but it was relaxing that's what counts.
KK

Christmas

2011-01-04T06:13:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Sorry that the Christmas post is so late. So, we were in Olathe with Stephen's family for Christmas. My mom came over to Stephen's parents house to spend it with us. Since my family always do Christmas early, the Mitts are more then greatful to invite my mom to come and share Christmas with her. Stephen and I were one of the first up in the morning awaiting my mom to get there. We opened our stockings that we helped fill the night before. Then, my mom arrived with her presents that she made people as well as yummy rolls. We all ate breakfast and then we were waiting on some to arrive for presents. Jimmy and Natalie arrived and we opened presents to each other. It was a lot of fun watching everyone open the presents that we got them.
From my mom we recieved a baby coccoon that I wanted. It is brown with pink. It is so cute and it has ears that make it a teddy bear. For those who know me growing up will recall that I have always been in love with teddy bears. Also recieved a book about feeding the baby and a baby book. From Stephen's parents we received a triffle bowl with recepes, a $10 gift card to applebees, a santa blanket, and a game called "Don't Eat Pete" which I learned was one of The Mitts favorite family home evening game. From Johanna and Karl we receved homemade bread (Which is so tasty). From Jimmy and Natalie we reiceved goodies that we can eat. Stephen also recieved his second present from me which is black socks for work. In my family, I am pretty famous for picking out socks. From Stephen I recieved, cards, a shuffler (because I can't shuffle), a wii remote charger, and things for my wii board. We had a lot of fun though spending time with family. Next year, we will have to start pretending to have Santa Claus around.
Kk

Christmas Eve!

2010-12-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So Christmas Eve we went to my in-laws to stay the night as we do every year. Stephen's siblings Andy, Jimmy, Johanna, and Charlie were there for awhile. Jimmy and Andy both brought their wives while Andy also brought his kids with him. Johanna brought her soon to be husband with her. It was a loud bunch with all those people. It was nice though to see everyone and I got to see a new side to Ginny. As it's usually pretty quiet at Stephen's and Mine's house she wasn't used to so many voices. So she dug deep into my pelvic bone that caused me in pain. I ended up watching my father-in-law in the kitchen making preparations for Christmas morning. Stephen and I helped with the stockings this year which was a lot of fun to help out.

Stephen got an early present from me on the twenty-third which was a huge toaster oven by me. He also got an early present from Ginny as he had his head on my baby bump seeing if he could hear her. He did say he heard some movement but then smack. He got a kick to the fact by her. It was the first time he ever felt her and it was on Christmas eve. It was so neat. His face was great to see how he reacted to his daughter.
Kk

IT'S A GIRL!!!! ANOTHER MITTS GIRL!

2010-12-27T09:33:00.000-08:00

Hey,
On December 23rd, I went to go get a ultrasound to see how many little one was growing also hoping that we would get to find out what we are having for an early Christmas gift. I was very nervous going to the doctor's because I was worried that I would hear that the baby passed away. It was my greatest fear or even hear that something was wrong. Stephen and I asked my mom to come to meet her grandchild as well as Stephen's mom. Then I asked my best friend Sarah to come since she hasnt' seen me pregnant at all other then in pictures. The adding of people to the experience made me worry that something would go wrong worse. Before we went I had to drink 32 oz. of water before and couldn't go to the bathroom until after my ultrasound. I was in so much pain from drinking so much water. When we went in and I was squirted with the liquid and the ultrasound tech had me get up and go to the bathroom for a bit. Then she tried again. She got so beautiful picture of the head and some good profile pictures. I watched her measure the bones and the stomach then the head. Everything was perfectly shaped and had all the organs. We told the tech that we would like to know what we are having. She said if she sees anything she would let us know. She tried to get something but the little one wouldn't stop crossing the legs. She had me go to the bathroom again to empty my bladder. Finally the tech shook my belly to see if she can get the little one to move.
Then flash...there was the little one uncrossing the legs. The tech told me to look at her screen as she typed, "Mommy and Daddy, I'm your daughter." I tried not to cry as I am not a crier. I always knew that I was going to have a little girl first. As soon I as I knew I was pregnant I knew it was a girl where everyone was saying, "It's going to be a boy."
So I would like to introduce everyone to my little girl, Ginevera Lynne.

Kk

Mitts/Meyn/Reichard/Cabe Family Christmas

2010-12-20T07:53:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So my side of the family always has Christmas early because myself and my sister Necia go to our in-laws on Christmas and Christy has traditions of just her and the kids. This year, we decided to do ham, my mom cheesy wild rice soup, breadsticks, fruit, cheese, and veggie for the food. It was also again at my place this year which isn't a big deal.
We had a lot fun hanging out with each other and talking. The kids played nicely with each other. The boys (Michael (18), Dallas (12), and Calvin (10)) played halo in my bedroom on Stephen's x-box while the girls (Maddison (9) and Abriana (8)) did crafts in the nursery. We all got wonderful gifts. Everyone got a snuggie from my mom which we all enjoy. Most got slippers as well. We all got some games that we could play with out family. Stephen and I recieved baby stuff like a huge box of newborn diapers. It was a lot of fun spending time with the family. Also it was a huge thing for miss Abbi (9 months) who got to open her first present ever.

Kk

HAPPY 12TH BIRTHDAY DALLAS!

2010-12-14T06:56:00.001-08:00

(This entry comes from my heart to a lovely twelve year old boy)
Dear Dallas,
I can't believe you are twelve years old today. It's amazing how much time has flown since that night you were born. I remember that night as if it was yesterday because you made my life change. That year I found out that I had a diease and soon found out that I was going to be an Aunt to another little boy which made the pain go away.
I remember holding you soon after you were born just amazed on how perfect you were. I loved you at the first sight and I couldn't wait to watch you grow up. Man, have you grown up into a wonderful kid almost a teenager. You are such a great kid to get to know. Your smile makes me smile and I have many memories of you growing up. Soon, you will be a teenager and taking on the world, but always the smart, funny, loving, kid that you were once were. You are like your dad with your humor which always makes someone laugh no matter what. But you have your head stright and strive to be good in school with your grades. I can't believe how smart you are. You surpise me in a lot of ways. You love sports and love hanging out with your family. You love your little sister even though she can be a pain in the butt most of the time. But that's what little sisters are. You are so great with you cousins no matter how old they are. I really can't wait to see you hold your soon-to-be baby cousin in May.
Be strong and don't ever forget about the family that loves you as you grow up. Remember that you are who you are for a reason and that reason makes all of us love you even more.
Love you,
Aunt Kendra

19 Weeks and 6 Days!

2010-12-13T06:46:00.000-08:00

Hey,
So I thought I better get to writing my blog as right now I am not that busy as I only have one final. So school is coming to an end on Thursday till January which I am so excited for. I already had my psychology final and I got an 84% on the final. Which should bring my grade to a B in the class. It's amazing to think that I have worked my butt of for this semister. To know that next semister around this time my life will be totally different. I'll be a mother to a brand new baby. There is no doubt that I will have a baby by finals week in the spring semister. It's amazing to think about but kind of nervous. But school went really good this semister. Sure i was stressed a lot but I worked for my grades that I am recieving.
So...I am nineteen weeks and six days along in my pregnancy. It's an amazing thing to think about to tell the truth. I had a doctor's appointment last week on Thursday and I got to hear my baby's heartbeat which was beating very strong at 159 bpm. People are still guessing what we are having which hopefully will be revealed on the twenty-third this month. My mom, my mother-in-law, and my friend Sarah are coming down to see the sonogram with Stephen and I. We are really excited for this chance. My mom is really excited to see her first biological grandchild. It's an amazing experience for her. I just can't wait to put a name with our little one. If it's a girl we are naming her Ginevra Lynne and if it's a boy it's Miles _______ we are still debating about the middle name if it's a boy. But all in all my pregnancy is going really well. I did have a simi high blood pressure at my last appointment but nothing they were worried about at this point. I did have a feeling that I would have to give blood and I am terrified of needles. I did have to give blood...and it wasn't fun at all. The lady didn't even listen to the word I said, when I told her that my veins disappear very quickly. Or that I have RA. The first time she stuck me she couldn't find the vein and moved the needle around in my arm trying to find it. the second stick killed me. I swear Stephen was lucky to not have much feeling in his hands. Because she put it on my knuckle on my hand...who does that. Then of course she couldn't find the vein so she wiggled the needle around and Stephen said that the bruise was forming each movement she did. She told me that next time I would get blood taken to make sure she was not working.
No movement yet on the little one. It bums me out to tell the truth that I haven't felt the baby move. Some say be patients that it will happen. Other say, "You might be feeling it but you just don't realize it." It's stressful. Oh...another stressful thing is that my hips pop when I get up from anything. Stephen chuckles and I gasp in pain. But other then that everything going great.
Oh we were lucky. After our doctor's appointment we got the chance to go shopping for Christmas gifts and we bought all of our Christmas gifts. We were both pretty happy about that. Also Stephen wrapped them all by himself as I was studying for my finals.
Kk

Long Time No See

2010-12-04T13:56:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Okay, so I want to start this blog out with "Does anyone read my blog?" I feel like I am talking to an empty space of the internet a lot. I know I haven't been on in awhile but it feels like I am alone in my writing mostly because no one comments on my rambles. I started the blog for friends and family to keep in touch and to see what Stephen and I do in life. Sure our life is boring with school and work but I thought friends and family would enjoy reading about it. Anyways...again sorry I haven't posted in awhile. It's just that school is coming to a close which means lots of projects, tests, and papers are due. It can get pretty hectic to say the least.
Anyways, so lets see I am eighteen weeks pregnant. I'll be nineteen weeks on Tuesday, but don't expect a blog post that day because it's dead week. It's been interesting to say the least. I lost insurence and it's been a struggle to not go to doctor's appointment because of it. I do believe I missed two doctor's appointments because of no insurence. But I have my next doctor's appointment on Thursday. I am super excited for the fact that I might be able to schedule an ultrasound for my twentieth week so that might mean I'll know what we are having before Christmas also for the chance to see my little one. I invited my mom and my mother-in-law to come with us when we have it. My mom has been looking forward to it since the beginning. My mom will be with us when I deliever, because she has done it with all my sisters and I want her to experience it with me.
I do have a baby registry up at Walmart even before we know what we are having. The reason was so that those who are looking for Christmas gifts for us can go look at our registry. We only want baby stuff for christmas because money for us is tight and it's only going to be even more tight once the baby comes. I am so excited for Christmas break though, because I am going through our guest room that is becoming our nursery. It's going to be interesting to watch more baby stuff arrive and the office stuff somewhere else in our apartment. We haven't figured out everything yet but we will I guess. Also no feeling the baby move yet...it makes me nervous to tell the truth. But I'll get my feelings rested seeing the doctor and perhaps hearing the baby's heartbeat. Which I am going to record this time.
Well...I better work on stuff for this week.
Kk

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2010-11-25T06:16:00.000-08:00

Hey,
I am still not sure who reads this blog but I'll write in it anyways. So I haven't written any post lately because things have been so busy. With school coming to a close. But that's enough talk about that. Today is Thanksgiving day and what's the best part of thanksgiving. The food, nope. The gathering of family and friends, nope. It's a day to say thanks to our heavenly father for all the blessings that we do have. So...here is my list of my thanks.

My lovely husband. He works hard so that I can go to school and don't have to work. He works his butt off every day at work and is even working today to make sure that we have food on the table and are able to buy things that we need. He is also a wonderful support when I am frustrated and upset. He gives me hope that everything will turn out okay in the end. I can't be who I am today without him by myside and supporting me.

My mom. Things this year have been going on a rough trip with her. She had surgry to remove her kidney and found out that it had cancer. We almost lost her after surgry because she couldn't breath right. It was hard to be away from her while she was in the hospital. But I am thankful for at least having another year with her. For her to be able to see her grandchild being born in May. I am very greatful for the doctors who took care of her. I am also greatful for the strength that she has. It was just the two of us for a long time and she worked hard to make sure that I can be a normal teenager.

My sisters. My sisters are a wonderful support system for me. they always drop their things to talk to me when I call. Especially, when I am nervous or scared. My sisters listen to what I say to them. They don't judge me and I don't judge them. We have come a long way to have this relationship. I am so thankful to my sisters in my life.

My In-Laws. I don't think their is many daughter-in-laws that can say that they adore their in-laws. They are a lot of fun to be around. Especially, when playing games with them. When I married into the family they also took my mom in. They try to invite her over as much as they can. They also visited her when she was in the hospital which I am so greatful for. They didn't have to do any of that but they did and that means so much to me.

My nieces and nephews: I have grown up into an adult along side them. I remember when my first nephew was born and I held him for the first time. They taught me so much of who I am and how much I want to be a teacher. They give me strength through their hugs and smiles. They taught me how to become a parent as I watched them grow up and watched their joys.

My friends: You guys are strength to Stephen and I. You give us strength and we cherish creating memories with you guys.

Sarah: I am so greatful for a friend like her. I couldn't get through some of my classes without her help. She is always willing to look over my papers for me even if she is working on homework. She always puts me first and it makes me so happy to have her as a friend. I couldn't be where I am with out her support. I am hoping so very hoping that soon she will be able to get a job that she loves.

My little one: I have always dreamed of becoming a mother. Never in my life did I not want to become a mother. But when I was twelve years old hearing that some of the medication that I was taking for my RA could cause me to not become a mother I was heartbroken. I have struggled so much for this chance. This chance to be who I always knew I wanted to be. Worried about the struggle of being able to concieve a child and Heavenly Father blessed me with the surpise of my life. Even though Stephen and I didn't think we were ready. Heavenly father knew we were and blessed us with this little one. I can't wait to find out what we are having in a couple more weeks. I can't wait for the chance to be able to feel the baby move within me and know this isn't a dream anymore. Then when May comes, I'll have my own little one in my arms. No matter the struggles Stephen and I will have in becoming parents we are so thankful for this chance.

Gospel: Not many people know that I fell away from the gospel. I struggled with being a member. I am so greatful for the chance to be able to come back to the gospel. So feel the holy spirit within in my soul. To watch it's gifts in blessing my loved ones. So watch my soul being healed. I am so greatful.

Kk

Catch Up

2010-11-11T11:37:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Okay...lets catch up since I haven't posted anything in awhile. I am just over fifteen weeks pregnant now. It's so amazing though to be pregnant. We are just right now hoping that healthwave will stop being a pain and give me back my insurence so we don't have to worry so much. But other then that things are going great. I am slowly easing on naps but I am still really tired through out the day.
School is going pretty good. Working on projects and trying to stay caught up in the whole thing. But it's been going really well. I got another A on a paper in Comp class which I am so happy about. But that's pretty much it when it comes to school.
Good news is that Stephen went to full time with his job. We are so happy that at last he will be bringing in more money. Also he might have an interview coming up to work at the hospital. Which will be part-time for a little while and then will switch to full time later on. So we are thrilled for the chance that things are moving forward.
I better go as I have to write a talk for Church on Sunday...what fun.

Kk

14 Weeks and 2 Days Along

2010-11-04T04:54:00.000-07:00

Hey,
It amazes me that I am this far along in my pregnancy. It's so neat to know that soon I will be able to feel my baby move inside of me. I talk to the baby all the time especially on my walks to school where no one is around. I talk to it knowing that right now it still can't hear me but it's just a comfort that I have a living being within that's mine. Stephen and I don't talk about us with a baby unless I start it. He says that it still feels unreal to him. Which I know is normal as the baby doesn't have a name as of yet. We already have a name for the baby if it's a girl which is Ginevra Lynne. In case you are wondering where Ginevra comes from it comes from the Harry Potter books. It's Ginny Weasley's time. Ginny is actually a nickname. Lynne is my best friend's middle name and I wanted to include her into the name plus it goes really well with Ginevra. Stephen is choosing the boy name and I don't even know if he has thought about it as of right now. It's amazing though to know that soon we will know what we are having.
On the 29th, my brother-in-law Tony and sister-in-law Kari welcomed into the world their little girl Kendyll Paige. She is so darn cute and looks like she could fit into my husband's family. Jimmy and Natalie are due in Feburary with their little girl. It's so cool that my baby will have two cousins around the same age. So family gatherings they will all be able to play with each other. The family is growing and it's so neat.
Oh did I forget to mention that I am starting to show. It's really noticeable when my shirt is tight in that area and when I am wearing my materniety pants. Here are some pictures.

Kk

First Doctor's Appointment

2010-10-07T18:23:00.001-07:00

Hey,
So things are looking brighter now that midterms is passed. I can take a deep breath. Also that we heard the heart beat of our little bundle that is within me. Also we learned that we are not having any more then one baby at a time at least...this time. Though I can't find the joy in teasing Stephen that there is more then one.
Our Doctor's appointment was at three o'clock. We arrived early because I had to fill out some paperwork before hand. The doctor came in after awhile of sitting in the waiting room and started to ask the normal questions. She was very nice and kind and asked if I had any questions. So I think I asked one question. She then said, "Well, I think your at the right week to see if we can catch a heartbeat." She then squirted the lovely gel that is freezing cold. Bless her soul she really really tried to find the heart beat and was not having much luck. Of course every once and awhile you catch the heartbeat very light in the background. I heard it the Doctor heard it. Stephen did not. So you know what my doctor did, "Let's get a sonogram." I looked like Christmas came early.
We waited for our time to go to get a sonogram. Another squirt of that lovely gel and bingo their was our little one. I tried my hardest not to start crying. Our first child was growing within my body. It finally all seemed real to me. The tech. started to play the heartbeat which happened to be 163 beats per minute. It was a beautiful sound to my ears. Here is our healthy baby who is 10 weeks and 3 days. I am now due on May 3rd, 2011.

Kk

9 Weeks Tomorrow!

2010-09-18T06:27:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Well, it might be nine weeks tomorrow or eight weeks. It just depends on when my actually due date will be. But right now my due date is Apirl 24th, 2011 that is until I get in to see a obgyn. So that will put me at nine weeks tomorrow. It's amazing that I am pregnant for nine weeks. It's been an interesting ride to say the least.
Update on me. I am doing great other then a few cramps here and there which I am gladly taking rather have cramps then have morning sickness. I am finally weaned off off caffeine, there were some days where I could barely move because of a headache. But it's been different without the caffeine in my blood stream I can say that. I do lose my attention very quickly now but all in all I am doing it for the little one growing within me. Also, I am eating somewhat healthier. I eat a banana, applesauce, and a fiber one bar in the mornings for breakfast. I do know that I do need the fiber one bar in the morning because if I don't I feel like I will pass out.
Update on baby: From what my books say and the internet say the baby is right now between a rasberry and a green olive in size. So about .63 inches to 1 inch big. Also weighs between .07 ounces to .14 ounces. I'll know more when I get to the doctors soon.
Good news...I got accepted for insurence. Yippee...being put on state health insurence. It will be nice to not have to worry so much about the money.
Kk

Update on School 9/18/2010

2010-09-18T06:21:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So this is an update of school. School is going really well this semister. I am enjoying most of my classes. I have had two exams already and one paper. Also two projects that I have turned in. I didn't do as well as I would have liked on the exams they were both C's. So I'll know next time that I need to focus more and write notes and study a lot. My projects have done wonderful. I got a 100% on a 100 point project in intro to pysc. so pretty happy. Not sure what I got on my other project where I had to build a webquest. i turned in my first paper which was remembering of an event. I am hoping that I'll get a great grade on it. I actually enjoyed it.
What's coming up in school more work. My other paper which is a Concept paper. So it will be a bit harder. Already working on it though. That's pretty much it with school.
Kk

Great American Market

2010-09-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So on September 11th, 2010 was the famous Great American Market that takes place downtown. My mom came down to go with me and we had a lot of fun. Too bad Stephen had to work through the whole thing. Mom and I first stopped by the farmers market and bought some yummy breakfast rolls also Stephen and Mine's favorite bbq sauce. Then we headed downtown where the activities were. The pictures do the justice. I took the pictures from the facebook page of the Great American Market.

Kk

My Birthday

2010-09-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So this will be my last birthday without having a child in the mix. It's strange to think about that though. I am pretty excited to know that I'll be a mother by the time of my birthday. This year, it was just my husband and I for my birthday which is wonderful to say the least. Stephen had the chance to be off on my birthday so when I was home from school he would be here. So in other words, I was spoiled on my birthday. That morning, Stephen made me some yummy breakfast. It was just what I wanted bacon egg cheese bisquit. Can I point out that I love having a great cook as a husband. He makes some of the best food. Then he was so kindly to drive me to school so i wouldn't be dragging my feet in the door later that day. When I got home a package arrived which was from my friend Sarah. She sent my birthday present which was a pregnancy book. I wanted pregnancy books for my birthday this year so that I can look up things that I have a question about. That's when I saw the three pink roses that my husband got me. I squeled in delight, I love getting flowers.
Later on after many thanks to birthday greetings and getting a happy birthday email from my mom. My husband brought out one half of his present. The other half I knew what it was because I picked it out. It was another pregnancy book but Stephen bought me all on his own another pregnancy book the famous "What to Expect When Your Expecting." We then went to Applebees for some yummy wings and had icecream cake for dessert. I love ice cream cake.
That weekend my mom came down and gave me a snuggie. Because I am always cold no matter what. I can study while wearing it which is a huge bonus for me. Also she bought me dress shoes that actually fit me. Thanks to Brown Shoe Store down here. Also I received two maternity skirts that will come in handy and two baby blankets.

Kk

Early Birthday Surpise

2010-09-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So Stephen and myself got a huge surpise the end of August. I found out that I was pregnant with our first baby. It came right before my birthday which is tomorrow and I am still in shock that I have a little one that I am growing inside me. This feeling is so amazing and i already want to protect it with all my heart. Stephen calls it his little alien. I am due end of Apirl early May. We won't know offically until I get an OB-GYN appointment which is waiting until insurence from the state comes through. Like I said we were taken back when we found out we were expecting.
This past weekend, we went to our hometown and announced it to family. I am right now the third daughter-in-law for Stephen's parents that is pregnant right now. It's amazing experience to be sharing all of this.
Kk

School Started

2010-08-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Man...I can't tell you how happy, I am that school started. I missed it a ton which is weird because I was so burned out on it last semister. But my classes are really interesting this year. Okay, I lie my classes aren't interesting except two the teachers who teach are. It's a lot of fun though and I am really motivated at least right now in the semister. Like I come home from college and actually work on my homework right away. Maybe it's because I know that Stephen gets home at four and I want my homework done so I can spend the rest of the day with him. So far though, I am usually working on homework until bedtime except today.
Comp. 1 is interesting only because the teacher is interesting. He's a TA and he knows what he is teaching. He dances in the class while he's teaching and makes stupid not funny jokes that you want to shake your head. But man does he wear neat shoes where it's like a sock but a shoe...it's so freakin cool. I could never wear shoes like that. We are about to start our first paper called Remember When. It's a memory that we have had to write about. I am going to love my best friend Sarah even more after this semister who is so kindly going to edit papers that I write using google docs.
Intro. to Psyc. is so much fun. I am retaking this class and I am so glad that I did. It's another TA teaching and he cracks us up every day. He warned us that he drinks a lot of coffee in the morning and is usually on his nineth cup by the time my class comes in. Like one day my teacher said something that could be totally taken wrong and a girl in the back muttered, "That's what she said." The whole class lost it. I think psyc. is going to be wonderful this semister.
Field and Lab is not so fun. I have the same teacher as I did before. She's a hard teacher and it's going to be a class that I will have to really work hard in. I just hope that I get a B at the end of the class that is my hope and prayers.
Collaboration and Stategies for Inclusive Setting is a cool class. We are learning how to handle different disabilities in our classroom. It's neat that I can use my and Stephen's experiences in this class because Stephen had an IEP and I had a 504 which is what I am learning about. So it's kind of neat to be able to get a step ahead in that class.
Last but not least is Advanced Instructional Tech. for Educators it's how to use technology in our classrooms. Right now we are working with things on the web and it's a lot of fun. Through the whole semister I am assigned to a apple mac book. So that is pretty fun to learn how to use. A lot of girls that I talked to in some of my old classes are in this class so I have some friends in this class.

I am really excited for this semister.
Kk

More chances.

2010-08-02T16:42:00.000-07:00

Go to this website and enter to win Silhouette Craft Cutter so you can do your own vinyle cutting and any other cutting to exact. http://www.theidearoom.net/2010/08/silhouette-giveaway.html

Kk

Another chance

2010-08-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

Another chance to win the Silhouette Craft Cutter is going to http://www.sugardoodle.net/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6344

Take the chance and expand your wonders.

Kk

Another Giveaway

2010-08-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

The machine can help even teachers with theirs projects with kids and even their boards. Even college students can handle having this machine. It's also so very easy. Another chance to win the silhouette craft cutter. Like I said before it's a great chance to get an expensive machine. Go to http://dollarstorecrafts.com/2010/07/win-a-silhouette-cutter/

Kk

Giveaway

2010-08-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

2.I just found out about someone who is giving away a free silhouette Craft cutter which is a $300 dollar value. It's totally worth putting your name in to try to win it. You can use it for different things like to make those cute vinyl projects that you can buy for buco bucks you own. You can make them yourselves. Also you can make cute lettering or any object using it for outfits. What's not to love. Check it out at http://www.tidymom.net/2010/08/free-silhouette-craft-cutter-giveaway.html

Good News

2010-08-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Stephen got a full time postion at Walmart and...it's a day shift...yippeee....

Kk

Moving Week

2010-07-26T21:36:00.001-07:00

Hey,
Can you believe it's already the end of July. It's amazing but not a surpise I guess I could say. Saturday this week we will be moving to another apartment here in Emporia. We are pretty excited to move to a different apartment which has an extra bedroom to boot. The fun things about this apartment is that people who stay over don't have to wake Stephen and I up when they go the bathroom. Because the bathroom is not through the master oh no...it's off of the living room. The second bedroom is the same size as the master which is fine for us. It will be several things all at once. It will be our office, guest room, storage, and have our dining room table. But it will look nice because I'll make it look nice. It's been amazing though to pack things up and to get rid of stuff that we don't need. The only thing that's hard for me is taking things off the wall because I made this place a home with my hangings. I can't wait to decorate our new place and hopefully we will stay there longer then a year or at least until I am done with college.
Kk

A Week With Austin James

2010-07-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So this past week we had the opportunity to have my nephew Austin stay with us. A little background about my nephew. Austin is my brother's oldest son and he's thirteen years old. He lives with his mom and little sister Jakouri since my brother and Austin's mom got divorce. I haven't seen Austin in more then five years but kept in connect with his mom through facebook and myspace. So I can see my nephew grow up. So Stephen and I decided that we could have him come visit us for a week to get to know him.
So Sunday the eleventh of July, we picked up my nephew who spent a couple of days at my sister Christy's house. We then headed back and played some halo which helped him to warm up to us. On Monday we took him shopping for his birthday present since it pasted early this summer. On Tuesday, we went to the zoo in town which is free and really nice to relax. Then on Wednesday, was just a nice relaxing day. Thursday we went to the water park. Friday, my mom came down to see Austin and spend the day with all of us. The rest of the week we watched Ghost Hunters and Harry Potter movies with playing halo in between. Then, Sunday we took him back.
I have to say that for being a thirteen year old boy he was polite as ever. It took him awhile to stop asking us if he can have things to eat. But it was a nice week and we can't wait to do that again with him.
Kk

Our 1st Anniversery

2010-07-11T05:06:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I know several of my friends are amazed that it's already been a year since Stephen and I got married. It is a shock for Stephen and myself as well. Let me explain...Stephen and I have never really gotten to our one year anniversery before. This is all new to us.
the first time we dated we dated for 11 months and three weeks 2005-2006
Second time we dated almost five months before we got engaged.
so we were engaged for four months..
Yahoo we are still married and we finally hit our one year anniversery.
Here's some pictures

KK
I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND OUR 25TH ANNIVERSERY!

Fourth of July

2010-07-09T15:02:00.001-07:00

Hey,
So the fourth was very wet and rainy. Stephen and I went to church and they came home to relax before we left to go find seats for the fireworks. We planned on walking to the school where the fireworks were to take place. But as it was down pour rain it did not look thrilling to walk in it. We packed snacks and water bottle to share. Packed stuff to do and my camera and phone in to zip lock bags to protect it from the rain. We decided last minute to just drive there. We were two hours early and there was no one. We also found out that you can sit in the staidum to watch the fireworks which we did in the rain. So our body was soaked. When the fireworks appeared though the place was packed and it stopped raining. Hint the rainbow picture. It was really nice to just enjoy it all. Also the firworks were suppose to be thirty min long. They happen to last till midnight when they started at nine thirty. They had some difficulties because of the rain. It was so funny that they never seemed to end.
Kk

Update on the Mitts

2010-06-29T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So Stephen and I will be moving the end of July. The place we are moving in is so wonderful. I think we will truely like it and be able to relax and grow. I'll have a room where I can study with out distractions as much as possible. Also it will be a room for guest to stay in when they stay the night. Halo night at our place will be wonderful as we will have room to spread out. Also we will finally have a dishwasher so that way dishes won't pile up. I believe that our new place will stay picked up and we will be able to relax more in it. Now we just need to be able to pack our things and go through our things. Which in truth is no fun at all.
This weekend is the fourth of July. Our small town is doing a whole day of activities that hopefully Stephen and I will be able to go enjoy most of them as we have church in the morning. I can tell you that I am really excited for the fact that we will be sealed in two years or so. I can't wait to say that i will be with my husband forever and ever. Also coming up is our first year anniversery. It's been amazing thing to say that we made it through our first year. We aren't doing anything special as we don't have the money. But that's okay, we will figured out something in the future to celebrate our first year anniversery. Also we are hoping to pick up my oldest nephew Austin who will be staying with us for a week. It's going to be fun and enjoyable since I haven't seen him since he was really young. And now he's a teenager. Hopefully, the rest of the family will stop by to see him as well.
Now this past weekend Stephen and I went back to our hometown to see family. Because his grandmother on his mother's side was in town. We had a lot of fun playing games and just relaxing with family. Even though we could have spent the weekend packing our things. Oh well. It's so much enjoyable spending time with family.
Kk

Fun Week Went Into Stressful Week

2010-06-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So Stephen and I have been keeping our eyes out for the chance to move into a different apartment when our lease is up here at this apartment. We love this apartment but the landlord isn't doing the best that she should be doing. We have had our oven broken once and it took her three weeks to fix it. Never knew how much you miss your oven till it breaks. Then...our fridge stopped working which meant we lost half of our food. Yippee it took her two weeks to get someone here to look at it. Thankfully, we have my mini fridge here at our apartment. Then not long ago our fridge broke again which meant we lost everything again. This time she took a week for us to get a new fridge.
So last Friday we went out and started a major search. We went to a guy that's known to have apartments all over town and he prices way to high for anything that we like. Most of his places are small that's in our budget. So he was a no go. Stephen that morning went through some ideas and we went to a property selling place. They rent out several apartments so we thought to give them a try and bingo...we found the apartment we want so badly. Stephen and I decided to start saving up for the down and the first rent.
Monday happened...our landlord sent us something in the mail saying that our rent will increase up to 15 dollars when we renew our lease the first of August. My first thought was way a minute. I lived in the dorms from August 18th till a week or two after there's no way our lease is up in August. So now Stephen and I are stressfully trying to get enough money for the down and the first rent. Which means...no plans no presents no nothing for our first anniversery. We will be barely having enough food to last us for a couple of months. So...it's stressful. I am now busy packing and Stephen is trying to get as much hours as possible.
I have also broke down and applied for Walmart which I really don't want to but we are now having to pay people back and I want to get it done as soon as possible. I hate this feeling of someone oweing us. Can we ever catch a break...
Oh, Father's day also happened. We went back to church for the first time in a long time not because family was making us. It's so strange. I wanted to stay the whole time...but as soon as the last speaker was saying all the things a father does. I broke down...I couldn't handle it anymore. So we came home and Stephen made us some really good food. It's been hard...but such is life. I just hope Stephen and I can catch a break soon.
Kk

Trip to Home Town

2010-06-15T15:49:00.001-07:00

Hey,
Man...last weekend was nice and relaxing. We went to our home town where both of our parents live. We stayed at Stephen's parents house for Saturday and Sunday night since Stephen doesn't work till four p.m. On Saturday, we drove there down pour rain first time in the new car. The highway heading from our place to our home town has a weird sound when you drive on it. So since Stephen and I don't know the sounds with this car we stopped on the side of the highway not once, not twice, but three times on the highway. Poor Stephen had to get out of the car all three times in the down pour. We finally made it safetly to Stephen's parents house. We took his father to Sam's since Stephen and I have a Sam's card. Let me tell you it saves a lot of money. Then we dropped his father off at the house and Stephen and I headed to our favorite fast food Chic fila' they were having a thing going on to try a new sandwich we both bought two of them. We also went to the reception of one of my friends who just got married over the weekend.
On Sunday, Stephen and i woke up early and headed to church with his family. It was great to see everyone that I grew up with and see how things changed. Then after sacrement we went to stop by my mom's house and had breakfast with her. It was great visiting with her and I miss her tons living so far away and worry about it. We then went back to Stephen's parents house to celebrate Stephen's dad's birthday. We bought him the Batman movies for his birthday and father's day. We then had dinner with most of Stephen's siblings and families; Johanna and her fience Karl, Charlie, Scotty, Jimmy and his wife Natalie, and Andy and his wife Sarah and one of their kids Ami. It was really nice visiting with the family...
On Monday, Stephen got a hair cut then we stopped by chipotles for lunch then headed back home.
Kk

GUESS WHAT!

2010-06-14T13:54:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Okay, so as some of you recall almost a year ago I said, "I do" to my husband in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. A lot of church members were shocked that Stephen and I were not getting married in the temple. So let me explain why we did not. For several years I have had issues with some of the beliefs of the church so my testimony was not as strong as I would want. Plus...I am the youngest of four in my family. If I was to get married in the temple my siblings would not have had the chance to see me pledge my heart out to my husband. It was important to me to have them there. I know a lot of church members say get married in the temple then exchange rings in front of everyone. I couldn't do that...I was there for each of them and had apart of their wedding. I wanted them to have apart of my own not after the fact. I don't think it's fair to them just because they fell away from the church. Stephen said he would do anything that I wanted. So we came to the conclusion to not get married in the temple.
As our year anniversery comes up. People are starting to ask if we will be going to the temple to get sealed to each other. I have to admit Stephen and I never talked about it before now. While we were visiting his parents house went went down into the guest room where we were sleeping for the weekend. I brought up the topic and soon it was decided that we will in the Kansas City Temple when it's finished. The reason why we are waiting for it is because it has a certain importance in my mind. The day that the temple was told to be built in Kansas City was the day that Stephen led me on a goose chase around campus to find him at the end wanting to date me again. I think it's the perfect temple for us to be sealed to each other also it gives us a chance to have some of our family there with us. So look forward to year 2012.
Kk

Feel the Rain

2010-06-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So life for me (Kendra) has been a bit slow. I have been able to relax and chill this summer which for me is nice. But it seems like my body doesn't like that at all as of lately. I have been having severe flairs of my RA...enough in my back that leaves me laying down and crying my eyes out. Stephen, bless his soul, has never seen me like that unless it was when a joint popped out but that gets better soon after joint pops back in. But he didn't know what to do that he even said we might want to go to er. I felt bad because when it's in your back and it's bad you can't move much. What was worse it was my upper back so twisting around to talk to someone behind you killed me or even picking something up. So we handled that as best as we could and figured out what happened...haha...looks like I won't be wearing sports bras to bed anymore...Stephen said exactly where my sports bra straps are on my back is where it was puffed up...finally that calmed down where I am able to move without wincing when...my left shoulder flaired. I couldn't brush my hair..so Stephen took care of it. Then..a few days later shoulder was better but now it's my left elbow. Which is still pretty bad. I feel bad that I can't help pick up the house as much.
So why is all my joints acting up on me...it could be because the weather here is up and down and stormy. Finally today there is some sunshine like yesterday. But storms are expected this weekend. It's been raining so much that places are flooding. Thankfully you can see the street outside my house still..expect when it rains. So I love taking storm pictures and in the past have been featured on weather stations with them. So...in between two storms I went outside and snapped pictures of 06/08/10 storm.

So yesterday, Stephen and I went and did some laundry at the laundry mat. Since I have been stuck at the apartment. I asked Stephen if we can go walk at the zoo that's here. It's totally free and totally worth going it's neat and small. We started to notice that...there is a lot of cars at the veteran memorial park. So we went to check it out since it was across the street. It seems that the whole town found amusement at crossing an old bridge across a river to watch the river which is flooded bad...go by. also people thought it was a perfect fishing time. So...I didn't have my camera because it was spur of the moment but I did have my phone..so I took some pictures of the rushing water...it was so neat.

Kk

My Thoughts on Father's Day

2010-05-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So I like to talk about serious subjects at times on my blog. Stephen very little knows what I type about. I tend to let things go but things that go through my mind. Like lately it's about father's. Father Day is coming up and everyone in the United States celebrate it I don't know about other countries. Father Day is important for children and wives to show their love and to remember how much the father has been doing for the family. I never really had much of a father growing up. It's kind of weird growing up without a father to tell the truth. Sure to have me made there was a man involved but he's a creep and a plain no body. But the truth I never really got that much experience in being round a real father.
Except last year when my future father-in-law had everyone over. But it was really weird the first father day that I went through. I am usually one of those people that hide on father's day and tell everyone come and get me when it's over. Last year was hard for me. I watched my in-law siblings and their father enteract. I felt like I was on the back burner. I felt odd and really out of place in their living room. I do recall I even cried because I picked up a book about what a father does for his kids. It made realize that I missed out on a lot of things. This father's day will even be hard. For the reason that Stephen will want to go home for his father which we should go. But i will be feeling awkard. Stephen doesn't understand my feelings. He just says, "Oh...now you have a father." Yeah, but I don't have those experiences that you celebrate. I can't hide anymore...I have to celebrate father's day.
It will be different when Stephen and I have kids. Because then as a wife I will get the pleasure in celebrating father's day with my husband who is a father creating our own memories. I guess...till then I will have to suffer.

Kendra

Summer

2010-05-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Man it's been so far not as a busy summer but then again Stephen and I didn't have a car to go anywhere. But the summer we have planned isn't all that busy anyways. We planned to go to Manhatten to see my sister Christy and her family a couple times this summer and watch my niece Abriana and nephew Calvin play baseball. Also watch Abbi grow and hit all of her first which I expect a lot will be this summer. But also take a trip to Olathe to see the rest of the family. Also go to my nephew Dallas baseball games in Gardner. Then in August the weekend before school starts we will be headed to Michigan my whole family to see my cousin Ronnie get married to the love of his life Karyn. It's been amazing to just relax this summer. But also i am going to work on getting healthy and geting a routaine in place for when school comes back.
Oh did I say that we finally have a car. It's a neat car other then now the drivers side window won't roll up. Opps. But it's really neat and it makes me feel like we have money. But it's a nice car and really comfy to be in and the blinkers work. Hopefully though no one will back up into in this car. Hopefully...
So...I have been working on Stephen's present for our anniversery. We don't have money so...been making it. It's been amazing that it's almost our first wedding anniversery. Lately I keep trying to figure out why he picked me. Because in my eyes I am not beautiful and I am not anything to look at. Last night it dawned on me that I never had the for sure thing that he will not leave me for someone better. I actually had several nightmares about it last night.
This morning Stephen told me why he chose me and it made me feel so lucky to have a husband like him. We have been through our ups and downs in our relationship but sometimes you have to go through that to get to where we are now. I do hope though that my present will show him how much love I put through it. I really do hope he will like it.

Kk

When You Say Nothing At All

2010-05-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

Hey,
I was just thinking today that Stephen and I have been married for a little over ten months. It's been amazing to think of that. It's an amazing experience to wake up in the morning and see him sleeping beside me. How when I gave him a kiss goodbye in the mornings he always wakes up to say he loves me before drifting off to sleep. Then getting home from school for lunch and him having lunch ready even though he was doing other things. The way he gives me a hug right when I enter the door a hug that seems like he missed me so much in those little hours. To see his suprise to see me sitting outside waiting for him to come home at one o'clock in the morning even though it's freezing outside. Those little text messages while he's at work saying, "I Love you."

It's been amazing ten months and to see how much we came through to get to where we are it's amazing. I always knew he was the one for me since I was twelve years old and I think I made the right choice.

Kk

I have a Problem.

2010-05-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

Hey,
So my problem is when I don't like something I don't always voice it. Like some of the things that my in-laws say that I don't voice my own opionion scared and nervous to say much. I have known them forever and that shouldn't be right for me. But it's true. Like the other time we were there staying for a weekend. Stephen got a brillent idea to design our dream house and things we like. Well...I found a site that lets you design different houses. But the problem is...his mother came over and started to talk about things she recomended that we do. I held back saying things that I didn't like and didn't want in the dream house. I stepped away from the whole thing. I am not sure why I do this but I do with my friends. When we start to argue I just change the subject not wanting to voice my ideas. There's only two people that I do that with Stephen and my friend Sarah.

But even then I don't do it with Stephen. I have to write down my thoughts when we have fights and why I flipped and went angry beast. Because I am not good with experessing my feelings in words but I can through writing on a paper.

Kk

10 Months!!!!

2010-05-11T06:15:00.001-07:00

Hey,
I can't believe it's been ten months since the wedding before long it will be our first anniversery. It's amazing though to see the changes that it brought. The time at the wedding we thought that we had one more month then we would be apart till the summer since I would be living in the dorms and him staying in Olathe. Who knew that we couldn't be not together and we would live with each other in September. It's been amazing. Of course like every marriage there has been the ups and the downs but we reached each hurdle. I couldn't have made it to finals week if he wasn't by my side pushing me along. I wouldn't have all the A's this semister either. It's been a wonderful 10 months.

Kk

Busy Life...

2010-04-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Stephen and I have been pretty busy lately. In March Stephen and I got a new niece. Her name is Abbigail Nicole and she is Christy's and Scott's little girl. She was born on Marach 30th. Stephen and I were able to be their for her birth. So Stephen got the chance to hold her when she was an hour old. It made me excited for when we have kids. I can't wait to see how he handles holding them in his arms. We also spent Easter weekend at Christy's and Scott's to help with the older kids. I held Abbi while Christy and Scott got to experience easter with Abriana and Calvin.
On Apirl first one of my friends Sam got engaged to Wolfgang. It was pretty neat to see it coming. Then within a couple of weeks Stephen's sister Johanna was finally asked to marry her boyfriend Karl which everyone in the family saw coming. Both are geting married in June 2011. Also Stephen's brother Tony and his wife Kari are expecting their fourth child in November of this year. So that will make number seventeen nieces and nephews Stephen and I will be having.
This past month has been rough on health wise. I have been having stomach cramps and different symptoms. I went to the doctors to find out that it's mostly stress that's causing everything...which isn't going to go away anytime soon. As school is about to end. Also...last Sunday Stephen and I were coming back from our hometown. We started to hear a clicking sound which started to get louder. When we were eighteen miles outside of where we live we blew a rod. You think that's bad, it gets worse. The rod made a nice fist size whole in the engine block. Which means that Stephen and I need to get a new car because we can't afford to buy an engine also we don't know what other damange it did to the car. Which means we will be having a car payment again. So life has been busy...I really can't wait for summer.

Kk

My Life Would Suck Without You

2010-02-09T14:47:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Man has this week started to fly. So things are busy and stessful. We went to Manhatten to stay at my sister Christy's place. Stephen was playing video games with my nephew while my niece Abriana did her own thing. I got to feel my niece Abigail move inside my sister. 8 more weeks till her due date. I can't wait to see Abigail and see who she looks like between my sister and Scott. Then of course see if she looks like her two half-sisters Abriana and Amanda. Stephen and I were already volenteered to take the baby when she gets older to our place to babysit. I am super excited to just be able to hold her. Especially since i have been having the feeling of wanting to be a mom myself. Which won't happen until I finish college that's the deal Stephen and I made. That we would start trying when I finish college.
School been hectic like usual. I had to take seven exams last week and I only passed two of the six that I need to pass before i can get into block 1. I won't be getting into block one till Spring 2011 so I still have a way. It's starting to look like I will be in my student teaching cross your fingers in Spring 2012. So things are starting to get pretty tough. Since I was so focused on the six exams I forgot to study for my biology exam which I failed with a 48%. Some failed worse in my class with a 20% so I was to freaked out about it. Right now though I am working my butt off to get ahead in my classes before Abigail is born so Stephen and I can help out and I won't get behind. But things have been going good. I am taking a lot of classes in my major which I love. I love the feeling of being able to learn things that I will actually use in my classroom which has me paying attention more. Right now I am working on a children's book that I have to have rough draft done by the 15th. I am doing something similar to Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see? books. I am using my nieces and nephews as the person going to see each other. So it's a lot of fun. Then in my technology class we build a rollercoaster and have played some really cool games on the computer. We also had to do a project where we designed a newspaper involving lesson for kids and had to tell the class about it. Also soon we will be working on making comic books that teach students something. So it's a lot of fun. In my PE for Classroom teachers I will be going to a classroom of first graders (eep) to teach a math lesson and involve physical activity in it. I am so excited to do it. My partner is really nice and we are thinking of doing a cup stacking activity. It's going to be a lot of fun though. So classes are going really well.
Stephen and I are doing well. We are not struggling as much with money so it's nice to not worry about that as much. We are enjoying times when I don't have homework and he doesn't have work to spend with each other. We often watch movies or tv with each other and just talk. So it's nice. We have no plans for Valentine's Day but to spend time with each other.
Well I need to do some homework done, and maybe do some to get me ahead for the week. Talk later.
Kk

Christmas, New Years, and Branson

2010-01-25T05:35:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Sorry I haven't written in awhile life has been getting busy. Let me catch you up on our lives. On Christmas Eve Stephen called in to work because there was a nasty storm coming in. Which we ended up hitting on our way home to Olathe for Christmas. We risked our lives driving to Olathe. We were snowed in at my in-laws for a couple of days. We babysat for Mike and Elyse on Christmas Eve. On New Years Eve we went to Wolfgang's and Sam's for a get together. Then on the third, Stephen and I headed out to Branson for our honeymoon finally. The roads were bad as it was again sleeting. We even saw an ambulence overturned on the highway. But we got their safely and were able to relax with each other and enjoy each other company. We didn't go to any of the famous shows or museums. We did go out to eat a couple of times but most of the time we stayed in watching movies that we rented from redbox. Watching Harry Potter movies and watching the tv. It was a nice relaxing break considering we had to get back to regular day lives.
I started school the next week and is realizing that I am going to be stressed most days. I have had three breakdowns already but its must needed to get closer to graduating. Stephen's been a good sport and letting me work on homework and helping me with it when I need help. Well it's time to get ready for classes.
Kk

Welcome to year 2010!

2010-01-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Man year 2009 just flew by didn't it. A little recap in the beginning of Jan. I went on vacations with the Mitts family for the first time. I got to know everyone very well and had a blast in a huge townhouse we were staying in. In Feb. I got to go to amazing place to eat on valentine's day with my lovely boyfriend waiting for him to finally pop the question which he didn't. In March, I got engaged to my best friend on the sixth to a candlelight dinner that he made for me. During Spring Break, i went out with my maid of honor (Sarah) and one of my bridesmaids to pick out my wedding dress with my mom and bought it. We also bought the bridesmaid dresses as well. Also it was the time that Stephen's parents house caught on fire and we didn't know what to do. In Apirl, nothing big happened. July came quickly, and soon my grandparents were in town as well as two cousins and my cousins soon to be wife. Stephen's family also came in town and I got to meet his aunt and his Grandma Ray for the first time. We finally got married on July 11, 2009 and haven't regreted it at all. We went to Kansas City for our pre-honeymoon and went to Oceans of Fun for a whole day before coming home to live with his parents at their rental house. In August, we moved into the regular house with the Mitts family and then I had to quickly pack up as we were going to house sit for two weeks. Finally, I had to leave for school in mid August and Stephen and I had a hard time saying goodbye. As we were going to live apart him with his parents and me in the dorms. In September, Stephen got a job in my school area and we moved into a lovely apartment. In October, Stephen lost his job after we had about of food poisoning and started a weight loss program with my sister and her husband. In November, we had thanksgiving just the two of us with a friend as Stephen had to work on it. At last in December, we had christmas with my family early then went across bad roads to his parents house on Christmas eve for Christmas morning. Got stuck in snow and was snowed in for days.
What I am looking forward to in 2010! My actual honeymoon which starts on Sunday. Going to Stephen's family's family renuion in July in Kentacky. My sister having the baby Abigail in Apirl or late March. Going to my cousin and Karyn's wedding in August. Also...My first wedding anniversery.

My Goals for the year
Physical
Lose Weight to be Healthy
Mental
Study at least an hour a day if not more. Grades need to be up this semister.
Soul
Find something to believe in.
Also read a book once a month outside of school
Write a novel this year.

KK

A Story I wrote to Family and Friends

2009-12-24T14:24:00.001-08:00

Family’s Secrets

Noel smiled as Micheal laid a couple of blankets on the ground in the park. Noel looked up and watched the snow fall around them as it was the first snow fall of the season. He then touched her hand and helped Noel sit on the blanket. He then reached behind him and pressed play on the jukebox as songs that they said that were there songs. He then took out warm soup and hot chocolate for them to eat while they ate, “So why outside,” Noel asked warmly.
“Because I saw that we had a ninety chance of snow tonight and I know how much you love snow,” Micheal said nervously, “Why is it not right?”
“No, it’s perfect.” Noel watched Micheal as they both often sang along with the songs that played. After their meal was done Micheal stood up and took Noel’s hand, “Dance with me?”
“Of course.” Noel stood and wrapped her arms around Micheal’s neck as they danced to the music. Noel could feel the snow touch her face and smiled knowing the night was perfect. Micheal then said, “I wanted tonight to be perfect. Because I know your leaving tomorrow for your grandfathers and I know how hard the holidays are because of your parents car accident when you were young.”
“Thank you, it’s perfect.” Noel dreaded leaving tomorrow as much as he dreaded her going. Learning how to inventory toys was no fun around this time. It was the busiest time of her grandfather’s business until after Christmas when it slowly will start to build again until next Christmas. Noel remembered how she never saw her father on Christmas eve because he was helping her grandfather but he was always back in the morning. Micheal watched Noel’s facial reaction, “You don’t look like your thrilled to go.”
“You can say that. But lets not let it ruin tonight when we are together.” Noel smiled as she pulled in closer to Micheal for his warmth. She glanced up at the sky and opened her mouth for the fresh snow to fall into. She heard Micheal chuckling, “You’re like a child when it comes to snow.”
“Yeah, it’s so pure and so beautiful when it falls.” Noel smiles so lightly that Micheal couldn’t believe how lucky he was to find this beautiful entrancing young women. She had long pure black hair that will curl around any finger among it. Her eyes are light blue that twinkle if you catch it just right. Her nose was small and delicate like a button that Micheal loved kissing it.

A song started to play on the cd player that Noel didn’t know at all. She started to listen to the words when she realized that her and Micheal weren’t dancing. She was amazed on how busy her thoughts were when it came to him. She glanced at him to find him down on the ground in kneeling position. When he noticed that she was looking at him he smiled up at her. Noel’s heart skipped a beat as he reached into his jacket to pull out a box. She started to remember the little signs that this was coming the way that he pulled her grandfather aside when her grandparents visit and even the way he was hinting that she shouldn’t go home for the holidays but stay there. He opened the box and Noel bit her lip to try not from crying but felt the tears gather in her eyes. “Noel Elaine Kringle, you have been everything in my life so far. I never expected to find you when I transferred schools. But you always seemed to be full of surprised,” Micheal chuckled trying to gather his own tears which were falling gently down his face, “But I want to share my life with you and no one else. I have started to dream about our future together. I want to keep dreaming of it. Will you marry me?”

Noel took a deep breath to try and push some of her emotions back. She remembered talking to her grandmother about this moment. Her grandmother and mother never knew of the family secret of the Kringles they just knew about the man in front of them. Noel took Micheal’s hand and helped him stand then said, “I want to say yes, but…”
“No buts…” Micheal said looking deep in her eyes.
“But you need to see something first.” Noel said taking the box gently then she said, “I promise you that if you are okay with what I am going to show you then you can place this ring on my finger.”

Micheal let out a small smile when he saw that Noel opened her purse and took out two jingle bells. She looked back at him and smiled gently, “Don’t get to freaked out, please.” She rang the bells lightly then put them back in her purse. Micheal looked at her with a questioning look. Trying to figure out if Noel was insane or not. She gently pointed up at the sky, “It might be a few minutes before they get here.”
“What gets here?”
“A couple of pets,” Noel looked at him then said, “My grandfather is not normal, Micheal. He’s different kind of guy.”
“I have met your grandfather he seems pretty normal.” Micheal remembered asking him for permission to marry his granddaughter. The man looked at Micheal like he knew all about him before hand. He then asked a question that was if Micheal believed in Santa Claus which Micheal thought was really strange. Noel looked at him then said, “You shall see that he’s not normal. I am not normal as well.”

Micheal heard bells ringing and glanced at Noel thinking it was coming from her when he saw that it wasn’t. He glanced at the sky and saw something flying towards them with full speed. When it got closer he saw that it was two reindeers with a sleighed they were pulling behind them. They landed in front of Noel and she smiled. She then walked slowly up to the reindeers and said, “Good girls, getting better at the landing.” She glanced at Micheal who was still standing there with his mouth open, “Micheal this is Daisy and this is Snow.”
“Am I dreaming?” Micheal said pinching his arms. Noel laughed and shook her head no that he was not dreaming. He gently walked towards the reindeers trying not to get hurt. “They won’t hurt you. They have been through several trainings. They are still working on their landing,” Noel said petting the one she said was Snow. Snow had a white head while Daisy looked like a regular deer. Micheal gently petted Daisy who leaned her head into his hand, “They liked to be petted. It’s an award for them.”
“How did you do that?”
“Easy, I just took the bells and rung them. They can hear them from a long ways off and can get here very quickly.” Noel smiled as she watched Micheal keep petting Daisy,
“Ready to go?”
“Go where…”
“Go to my grandfather’s house,” Noel said slowly. Micheal looked at her scared then she said, “Don’t worry they passed their flying lessons.” She helped put everything in the sleigh and then climbed in waiting for Micheal to hop in.
Micheal walked slowly to the sleigh and then said, “Where is it at?”
“It’s pretty far, we can’t walk.” Micheal got into the sleigh seeing he had no choice but to follow Noel. She then said, “We do have to cross some oceans to get there.” His shocked face caused Noel to laugh and then she said, “On Daisy On Snow lets hit the skies.”
Micheal closed his eyes as they rose and when he finally opened them he saw they were far into the clouds. He looked down and saw that several people were turning on the Christmas lights of their houses. He glanced at Noel and realized that she was a natural in the sleigh. He watched her navigate the reindeer with ease not having to figure out where they were heading. He sat back and watched her take control, every once and awhile she would glance at him and smile.
Noel was full of nerves, she was taking Micheal to see the place where she grew up at. Many times he asked her if he could see where she grew up and she always made an excuse. She was nervous on what he would say and how people would react with her bringing him home. She knew that she would need a supportive guy by her side to accomplish the things she must accomplish. It’s not easy to barely see your wife or husband around the holidays. It’s not easy to answer the questions your children will ask as they get older knowing they are different then their friends. How Noel didn’t understand why she never saw her dad the night before Christmas. He was always busy with things with her grandfather. Her grandfather is getting old where soon he won’t be going on his trips much anymore. He had to pass it along to someone but how will Micheal take it. As she drew the reindeer north she said, “It’s amazing how fast you can go in the air.”
“Yeah, no speeding tickets up here,” Micheal said, “Noel, I had no idea.”
“About?” Noel said looking at him. She knows her grandmother will love Micheal. She never had left the house and she loves visitors. But she loved hearing stories about Micheal and Noel can’t wait for her grandmother to spoil someone else. Her grandmother isn’t the same after Noel’s father’s death. She has been saying that she feels lost and a half of her has disappeared from her. She glanced at Micheal who tries to come up with an answer he opened his mouth, “Well, about you being able to fly reindeer.”
“Yeah, I keep that a secret.”
Noel saw the light on the house below with a smile. She felt the gentle peace that came over her as she gently lowered the sleigh and the reindeer on the ground. She saw that the lights in all the houses around it were on as well. It seems like everyone got a hold of news that Noel was coming home tonight rather then in the morning. Noel stepped out of the sleigh and petted each reindeer on the head then said to them, “I expect Mossy will be in the stable for you.”
She helped Micheal out of the sleigh and took his hand, “Do you know where we are?”
“Not a clue, but it’s really cold.” Micheal said shivering. Noel touched his coat and then said, “Warm.” Soon the fibers of the coat start to warm up and Micheal glanced at Noel with a look of shock, “I gave you that coat remember.”
“Yeah…” Micheal glanced around and saw tons of houses and warehouses around the little village. He saw no fast food restaurant that he recognized and no Wal-Mart either. He glanced at Noel who was watching him with a crooked smile, “Micheal, welcome to the North Pole.”
As soon as the words left her mouth the whole town lit up as well as the street lamps. Noel let out a small chuckle as she watched the child come out of her boyfriend. His eyes were wide and slightly moist as if he was waiting for this moment his whole life. His mouth hung open in shock and excitement at the sight before him. The house behind him opened it doors and he heard a man say, “Noel, I thought you weren’t coming till tomorrow.”
Micheal turned around to see Noel’s grandpa standing in the door frame. The man had a full round belly while his eyes matched that of his granddaughter. His beard was full and white as was his hair. He looked over to where Micheal was and smiled, “Well, by golly I didn’t think I would be seeing you with her, Micheal.”
Noel turned to look at Micheal who had closed his mouth but she saw that he was shocked as ever as to what he was seeing. Her normal grandpa didn’t seem so normal to him now as she could tell. “Grandpa, I had to bring him where’s grandma.”
“She’s in the kitchen, about to putting dinner on the table I presume.” Noel took Micheal’s hand and literally dragged him into the house. She then stood him inside and gently took off his coat and then his hat while saying, “I hope I didn’t shock you too much.”
“Your grandpa is…he is…”
“Santa Claus,” Noel said with a smile. She couldn’t wait to explain to him that she had no idea until her parents car accident. Her parents wanted her to grow up normal as it goes through the male line. They never thought she would be the next in line they thought that her mom was perhaps pregnant with a boy who would be following her father’s footsteps. Micheal looked at her with a smile, “I can’t believe it.”
“That’s alright. It will sink in trust me.” Micheal noticed that Noel was excited to share this secret with him more then ever. To share the secret with anyone in her life and he noticed that lately every Christmas since going out with her he had gotten exactly what he wanted for Christmas. He shook his head as he heard a lady answer, “Honey who flew in?”
“Your granddaughter and her boyfriend,” the man answered back. A second latter Micheal felt his arms pinned to his sides as an older lady hugged him, “Welcome to our home Micheal.”
“Um…”
“Micheal, this is my grandmother Holly Kringle,” Noel said then said, “Grandma don’t smother him.” Micheal breathed in deep and smiled at the older women. She smiled back and then said, “Noel, why don’t you guys go wash up and talk. Food will be on the table at seven.”
“Okay,” Noel said she then took Micheal’s hand and dragged him upstairs. When he walked up the stairs he saw pictures after pictures of men in red suits. He looked at Noel then said, “Are these past Santa Claus?”
“Yeah, and some of their children.” Noel walked down to the last picture and stopped in front of it, “That’s my parents.” Micheal saw the smile of Noel’s was on her mother’s face. He noticed that her hair came from her father who was still skinning in the picture. Her mother though sprouted a little belly in the picture while the little girl was standing in between them. The little girl looked at the camera with a sad look but her eyes made Micheal laugh as they said she was very happy to be there at that moment, “Your mom was pregnant.”
“Yeah, take two days before the car accident. It was going to go on our Christmas cards,” Noel said with a small smile, “A little boy she carried due to be born the on Christmas eve. For saw to be the greatest Santa ever.”
Micheal heard the resent in her voice when he realized that being Santa was passed on from father to son no matter what. He then looked at Noel and said, “So what happens when your Grandfather can’t fly anymore.”
“Then I take his place. I will be the first girl Santa in history not that’s wonderful and all. But I won’t get recognized for it,” Noel said looking at the picture, “See why you needed to see this before.”
“Yeah,” Micheal said, “I’ll marry the first Santa Claus.”
“No, you will be the picture behind the magic that I put in.” Micheal glanced at her then it dawned on him. He will have to be the one who gets the experiences of being Santa while she who is really is gets to experience being Mrs. Claus. “I am sorry, Noel.”
“It’s fine,” Noel said as they walked into her room. Micheal saw that Noel’s room was a teenage girls room. But it was full of dark colors instead of the bright colors. He smiled knowing what she was like before he asked her out so long ago, “You have changed in the two years we have been going out.”
“Yeah, not so depressing any more.” Noel said with a smile, “So are you still willing to marry me?”
“Yes,” Micheal said getting down on one knee in front of Noel, “Because you are still the same person that I fell in love with. This just will make our lives more excited. I love you Noel. Will you now marry me?”
“Yes,” Noel said getting the ring put on her finger. She noticed it was her mother’s engagement ring. She glanced at Micheal with a question in her eyes.
“I asked your grandfather the first time I met him,” Micheal then added, “Because I knew the ring had to be special and important to you.”

---------------------------------------------
Christmas Eve 2012
Noel walked down the stairs to see her grandfather relaxing in a chair, “Comfy Grandpa?”
“Yes, I am,” He sighed, “Everything is ready to leave in two hours. Noel remember you need to leave in two hours on the dot.”
“I know,” Noel said with a smile, “Have you seen Micheal?”
“He is in the workshop, he’s working on something for his family for Christmas.”
“I know what he’s making they will be totally surprised when they get up tomorrow,” Noel said with a smile. She walked over to the mantle where her wedding picture sat. Micheal and her had a huge smile on their faces. She remembered how much she wished her parents could be there to see that moment. She couldn’t believe that they got married on Christmas a year ago. She took a deep breath nervous about her first night as the Santa Claus in charge, “Grandpa, do you think I will be good.”
“You will be fine. Micheal and you can get it done and everything. The elves are getting ready to leave to get everything prepared so you should be fine,” Her grandpa looked at his watch nervous about this night as was everyone else. It was the first night for the female Santa Claus. She heard the front door open and saw the little head of the head elves, “Mrs. Kringle, it’s time to get ready.”
“Right you are Maisy, thank you.” Noel smiled at her Grandpa who looked around the room for something, “Not going to be too bored, Grandpa?”
“I’ll try not too. I’ll see you tomorrow. Be safe, Love.” Noel headed to the stable where she was being put into her outfit. She had to change it slightly so she wouldn’t look too odd if a child wakes up in the middle of the night. Micheal and her thing would say to them was, “Santa and Mrs. Claus thought to go together this time.”
Noel stepped into the dress which was bright red with sparkles all over it. Her belly protruded out of the dress and Noel chuckled, that she would be the first Santa that is pregnant on Christmas Eve. She patted her stomach and said, “Wait until tomorrow when we are home please.”
“Talking to the baby, I see,” Micheal said walking into the stable. He couldn’t believe how beautiful his wife was standing there getting ready to go on her first Christmas Eve. She smiled, “Are you upset that you are not going with?”
“No, this is your moment,” Micheal said looking at his wife. He touched her stomach and then said, “Remember any pains contact us.”
“Micheal, don’t see there is an outfit for you. Your coming with, didn’t I tell you,” Noel chuckled, “I am not spending my wedding anniversary and Christmas Eve without you by my side.” Noel smiled at him and then watched him quickly get ready, “You did get the present done for your family.”
“Yeah,” Micheal said, “Last minute. When do we leave?”
“You leave in just little over an hour, Mr. Wright,” Mimsy said. Noel nodded to her as they walked to see the reindeer which are already harnessed. Noel looked over them all and nodded to the elves that they were good. She then walked to the town square where both her grandparents stood with all the elves running towards. Noel then walked to the mike and said, “This is my first Christmas Eve as Santa Claus. I bless all of you to have a wonderful Christmas with your families. I shall see you all back to work on the tenth of January as we have a list of kids to get presents for next year.” She then lit the tree and Micheal smiled as the elves started to get excited for their holiday which is much needed.
Micheal and Noel sat in the sleigh and she went through the famous reindeer names and then off they went into the sky. Micheal leaned back and watched Noel be in charge of the direction as she started towards their first house. Noel smiled and then said, “Tomorrow night we go to your parents house, right?”
“Yeah, I told them we would stop by. They want to see how big you have gotten with their first granddaughter.”
Noel chuckled then said, “You didn’t tell them that I was pregnant with twins did you?”
“Nope,” Micheal laughed, “Their present will be a surprise.” As the neared their first house Noel took a deep breath and then said, “This is it.”
She landed a perfect landing on the house top at the same time Micheal watched two elves pop out of the snow and give her a thumbs up then climb off the roof most likely to go to their next house. She slowly stepped out of the sleigh. Which Micheal grabbed something out of his pocket, “I want to do something real quick.” He took out a camera and snapped a picture of his Santa Claus. He watched her grabbed the bag and climbed down into the fireplace. Soon she was back next to him flying to the next house.
After their last house without a creature stirring but some out of bed. Which Noel gently placed back into their beds she took the sleigh up in the sky and yelled with her first, “Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Goodnight.”
Epilogue
Noel gave birth to healthy twins the day after Christmas and named them Anna and Kristopher. She also started to make a new sleigh where her twins can join her every year on the ride around the world in one night as well as her husband Micheal. Micheal’s parents opened their present from Santa which said, “What’s better then one grandchild then two.” Then had a family tree of their family that will magically change every time a child is born into the family. They still have no idea how it happens even years later. When the twins get older they find their place in the normal world but always claim they know Santa Claus and it’s a female. Noel has never been found out to be a female Santa Claus and she’s not upset about it.
The End

Dear Family and Friends,
I usually never let people read my stories and I thought why not write a Christmas story of some sort for Christmas. I hope you enjoyed reading it as I have enjoyed writing it for you. Sorry about the grammar errors and some plot problems. I didn’t have time to edit the story like I would have liked. I am hoping to make a longer piece of this story later on so I’ll pass it along when I do.
Thanks for being supportive of Stephen and I through this past year. We love everyone of you and are glad to have you guys in our lives.

Kendra